The Best 44 Vult Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vult jokes. There are some vult carrion jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vult scavengers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Vult Jokes and Puns

A vulture tries to get on an airplane

A vulture tries to get on an airplane with a raccoon under each wing.

The pilot stops him saying, "Sorry, you're only allowed one carry-on."

A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."

So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

Vult joke, So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..."

"...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."

A vulture boards a plane

A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.

Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"

The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"


Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

A vulture boards a plane

Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."

Vult joke, A vulture boards a plane

Why do vultures hate flying?

Because they have to pay extra for Carrion!

Budum tsssss

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

A Vulture Goes Through Customs at the Airport

So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."

You can explore vult seat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vult nastiest dad jokes. There are also vult puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the vulture take on his plane ride?

His Carrion.

What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane?

His carrion bag.

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane...

and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."

A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane

And the flight attendant says to him, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."

A vulture boards a plane...

...carrying with him two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."

Vult joke, A vulture boards a plane...

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

What did Mozart yell when he became a crusader?

Amadeus Vult!


A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.

The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.

"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

Why do vultures make good Brits?

Because they eat common carrion.

Why was the vulture kicked off of the airplane?

Because he ate a passenger's carrion!

When vultures fly...

...do you think they bring carrion luggage?

Why wasn't the vulture allowed on the plane?

He had too much carrion.

A vulture is at the airport...

He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".

My girlfriend said I don't know how to be romantic

So I yelled "DEUS VULT!" and invaded Gaul. Proved her wrong

What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?

Carrion people

Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?

Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.

The vulture dragged a dead goat onto the plane.

Don't worry, he said to the attendant. It's just my carrion.

A vulture goes to the airport and the agent says, Do you have any bags to check?

The vulture says: No, just this carrion.

A vulture decided to fly south for the winter...

He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer

Why didn't the vulture have to pay a baggage fee at the airport?

She only had carrion luggage.

A vulture walks up to the counter at the airport dragging a dead possum.

"Sir will you be checking any bags today?"

"Nope, just carrion."

Why didn't the vulture have to check in his luggage before flying?

Because all he needed was carrion

A vulture walks into an airplane with a rotting corpse.

The flight attendant screams, You cannot bring that on this plane. The vulture says, It's just my carrion.

What did the vulture bring on his flight?

Carrion luggage.

Vultures always fly first class.

Move or they'll eat your carrion.

Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport?

He wasn't allowed any carrion

A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.

He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."

A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.

With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.

"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.

"No, sorry, that's our carrion"

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits.

And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vult smelliest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vult bird piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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