The Best 30 Vulgar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vulgar jokes. There are some vulgar immature jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vulgar bigamy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Vulgar Jokes and Puns

Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

May: "Why did you slap me?!"

Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!"

May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!"

Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will."

May: "Don't be such a beach."

Vulgar joke

Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!"

Girl: "Don't you know who I am?"

Boy: "No?"

Girl: "I'm the principals daughter".

Boy: "Do you know who I am?"

Girl: "No."

Boy: "Good."

*walks away quickly*

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher?

A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.

Yo mama so fat people used her as a tramp.

Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:


Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"

Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."

Vulgar joke

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?

A: A thought.

Yo mama so ugly when she went outside it was a black out.

I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "

oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn."

I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"

Autocorrect can kiss my ask!

You can explore vulgar infrequently reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vulgar objectify dad jokes. There are also vulgar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle."

Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible."

Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"

Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?

A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.

Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?

A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"

Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."

two of my friends are getting married tomorrow. what are your favorite wedding/marriage jokes?

The more crass, vulgar, and inappropriate, the better.

Vulgar joke, two of my friends are getting married tomorrow. what are your favorite wedding/marriage jokes?

I use to worked with an 82 year old. He always had extremely vulgar jokes. "Hey Ken, got any new jokes?"

'Nope, didn't go to Church this week.'

What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses vulgar language?

A Bulgarity.

R2-D2 was the most vulgar movie character of all time...

They bleeped out every word he said!

Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly.

But he's not running for President, his wife is.

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!

What language is most commonly used by programmers?


Why are pirates so vulgar?

The only movies they watch are rated "R".

My brother just came back from Vietnam. I asked him how was it, and he said the country is vulgar.

Everywhere was 'Phuc' this and 'Phuc' that.

What's the most vulgar word in the English language?


When I was a young man 'stuffing the sausage' was a vulgar euphemism for sex.

Now that I'm older, it means getting dressed.

Bertrand Russell walks into a bar

He orders several shots and starts growing vulgar and raucous. The bartender says, "Contain yourself!"

And he disappears.

A teacher would always enter the classroom with a vulgar joke

The girls decided that next time he does it they would all leave the room. Now the teacher caught wind of this plot and when the day came, he said: it turns out that there is a boatload of whores that are going to Africa at this all the girls start to leave the teacher stops them by saying hey, hey ladies! The boat leaves next week

I can't believe the vulgar language kids are using on Xbox Live.

Do they kiss my mother with that mouth?

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vulgar intimacy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vulgar obscenities piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes