vulgar Jokes

funny vulgar jokes and hilarious stories

INTRODUCTION

What are Vulgar jokes? Vulgar jokes are one of the most funny and hilarious. Here is list with the Top 73 vulgar jokes to have fun with friends and family. Most famous jokes about vulgar ever. Funniest vulgar sayings and gags.

BEST VULGAR JOKES

What are the best vulgar jokes? First are the Top 10 Vulgar jokes of all time. They are selected among the best 73 vulgar ever told. Below are some new and well-known jokes.

FUNNY VULGAR JOKES

What are the funniest vulgar jokes of all time? Laugh with some of the best vulgar funny lines ever said. Here are the rest of all 73 jokes that are about vulgar.

A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.
After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand and answer; can't you?"
"Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at ornithology. You should buy me; I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.
He says. "I can't afford that."
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."
The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational.
He's funny; he's interesting; he's a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing.
The guy goes up close to the cage.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about your lover and the mailman."
"What?" asks the guy.
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pair of briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotch and began petting him all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down."
The parrot pauses for a long time...
"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
"That's what pisses me off. I don't know." said the parrott. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my fucking perch."

A man walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a beer.
While drinking he notices on the back shelf, a giant glass jar full of dollar bills.
He asks the bartender "what's with all the $"?
The bartender replies, "it's a game customers play. They put $50 in the jar, and have to complete 3 tasks to win the bulk".
The man says, shocked, "well what are the tasks? There must be thousands in that jar".
The bartender responds "you must pay the $50 before given the tasks".
The man refuses and claims that's stupid.
But after a few beers, curiosity gets to him and he decides to pay the fee.
The bartender explains "The three tasks are... you must first drink this entire bottle of tequila until it's empty. Next, outback is an angry, stray Rottweiler who has a horrible tooth which needs to be removed. And lastly, upstairs in the apartment is an old lady who's been widowed for 45 years and hasn't had an orgasm since. So you must also give her a wild time to extreme pleasure to win the reward".
The man agrees and starts with a few sips of the spirit, takes a break then chugs the rest of the entire bottle!
Already feeling wasted and dazed, he stumbles out of his stool, and towards the back exit.
Once outside, the bartender and other customers can only listen to what is happening.
After a few barks and growls, all of a sudden the dog lets out a loud whimper.
In stumbles, the daring man, clothes shredded and blood spattered.
The customer's mouths were hanging wide open.
The bartender asks " oh my god, nobody's ever done that, is the dog going to be alright?!"
"Ahhhh Don't worry about that damn dog" shouts the drunken man. "Just tell me where the old bitch is who needs that tooth pulled".
Heard this from an old man, not sure where he got it from, or if it's on here already or not.

ABOUT

What are Vulgar jokes about? Vulgar is if great topic to laugh at. Some of the funniest jokes ever are about vulgar.

Are Vulgar jokes funny? For sure! There is no such thing as boring vulgar joke here. All jokes are funny in their own way. You can also view vulgar jokes images on Pinterest or watch videos with vulgar jokes on YouTube.

CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best vulgar jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 73 jokes about vulgar. Most of the jokes are suitable for kids, children or teens boys and girls. You must supervise your chidlren not to read jokes for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty vulgar jokes to your kids.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Find jokes will make you cry in laughter. Some of these vulgar jokes will make her, him laugh. Find and save jokes to tell your friends. Have fun and dig deeper into our jokes archive.

Can I save Vulgar jokes? You can do this from Joko Jokes iOS app. It is available for free download from App Store. Bookmark jokes so we ca rank them by how many bookmarks every joke has. Every bookmark increase its position in Joko Jokes' rankings.

Where to read Vulgar jokes? Save any joke to your bookmarks for futher reference. Read any Vulgar joke from Bookmarks. You can do this from Joko Jokes - funny jokes daily iPhone app.

How to share Vulgar joke? You are free to share every Vulgar joke found on Joko Jokes. Share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.

Browse a lot of Vulgar books and funny books with jokes about Vulgar on Amazon.

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