The Best 13 Vow Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vow jokes. There are some vow solemnly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vow chastity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Vow Jokes and Puns

Priest and Rabbi

A priest and a rabbi were having lunch and the priest asked, "Have you ever strayed from not eating pork?" The rabbi said, "Well, once, but there was absolutely nothing else to eat, so I had a ham sandwich."

Then the rabbi asked the priest, "Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?" The priest said, "Yes, just once."

And the rabbi said, "Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy...

My wife however called them "wedding vows"

Vow of Silence

Chap decides to to join a monastery. As a novice he is only allowed to speak two words to the prior, once every 7 years.

The first seven years go by and he whispers, "Cold floors..."

The next seven years go by and he whispers, "Bad food..."

Seven more years go by and he croaks, "I quit!"

The prior raises his eyebrows and replies, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you joined."

The whiny monk

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He can only say two words every five years.

After five years, Father Donald says to him, "Brother John, what do you have to say?"

He replies, "Bed hard."

Five more years go by and Father Donald asks him again.

He replies, "Food bad."

Another five years go by and Father Donald asks him again.

This time he replies, "I quit" at which point, Father Donald says, "Good! You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"

For the New Year, I vow to take a selfie at 720p.m.

It's a decent resolution.


Nun takes a vow of silence

A woman joins a convent that requires a vow of silence, allowing members only two word a decade.

Ten years go by and the woman tells the head nun, "Room cold." They give her a heater and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and she says, "Bed hard." They give her a new mattress and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and the woman says, "I quit." The head nun says, "Fine by me. All you've done since you got here is complain."

This year I vow to be twice the husband and father that I have been

I'm gonna spend equal time with my secret family in Connecticut

I'll never forget my aunt Lucy's last words.

"Ok, I'm starting my vow of silence now."

I destroy every string instrument I find...

As a part of my vow of non-violins.

20 years ago I made a vow...

And all these years later she's ensuring I remain celibate.

I still remember the last words my grandfather told me

"I'm taking a vow of silence"

You can explore vow sworn reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vow oath dad jokes. There are also vow puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Authorities fear 'affluenza' teen may have fled the country, but vow: 'We're going to find you'

... and give you a stern talking-to.

I think the police are setting up a Sting on me

Every breath I take, Every move I make, Every bond I break, Every step I take, They are watching me.
Every single day, Every word I say, Every game I play, Every night I stay, They are watching me.
Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me.
Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vow covenant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vow forgiveness piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes