Vous Jokes

What are some Vous jokes?

Joke I heard while in Hungary

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.

"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.

Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug.

The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German. Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with the officers.

"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to the other.

"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him anywhere."

Bob and Jim in Paris

Two Americans, Bob and Jim, are on vacation in Paris. They're walking down the street, when a car pulls up, slamming on the brakes. The driver leans out.

"Parlez vous Francais?"

Bob looks at Jim and shrugs.

"Habla Español?"

The two men just stare.

"Parli Italiano?"

No answer. The man throws his hands up and then drives away.

They walk on a bit farther, and then Bob says to Jim, "You know, we should learn another language."

"Why?" Jim asks. "That guy knew three languages and it didn't do him any good!"


A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen? he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.

Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais? he tries. The two continue to stare. Parlare Italiano? No response.

Hablan ustedes Espanol? Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says,
Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.

Why? says the other. That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good.

A girl calls a psychic saying:

*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*

Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*


^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime


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