vous Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious vous puns

Joke I heard while in Hungary

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.

"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.

Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug.

The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German. Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with the officers.

"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to the other.

"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him anywhere."

👍🏼

Bob and Jim in Paris

Two Americans, Bob and Jim, are on vacation in Paris. They're walking down the street, when a car pulls up, slamming on the brakes. The driver leans out.

"Parlez vous Francais?"

Bob looks at Jim and shrugs.

"Habla Español?"

The two men just stare.

"Parli Italiano?"

No answer. The man throws his hands up and then drives away.

They walk on a bit farther, and then Bob says to Jim, "You know, we should learn another language."

"Why?" Jim asks. "That guy knew three languages and it didn't do him any good!"

👍🏼

Languages

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen? he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.

Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais? he tries. The two continue to stare. Parlare Italiano? No response.

Hablan ustedes Espanol? Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says,
Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.

Why? says the other. That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good.

👍🏼

Languages

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen? he asks.

The two Americans just stare at him.

Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais? he tries.

The two continue to stare.

Parlare Italiano?

No response.

Hablan ustedes Espanol?

Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says, Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.

Why? says the other. That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good!

👍🏼

A girl calls a psychic saying:

*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*

Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*

--------

^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime

^

👍🏼

An American and Frenchman are standing on a streetcorner

An American and Frenchman are standing on a streetcorner in Paris. A Swiss guy is lost and walks up to them, looking for directions. The Swiss guy asks, *"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"* The two just stare at him. *"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?"* he says. Blank stare. *"Parlare Italiano?"* No response, *"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"* Still nothing. The Swiss guy is extremely disgusted and stomps off.

The American turns to the Frenchman and says, "You know, maybe I should learn a foreign language...."

"Why both-er?" responds the Frenchman, "That asshole was fluent in four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

👍🏼

Napoleon is looking at a soldier and tells him: Bring me my horse!

And the soldier replies: Mon Dieu! Vous parlez en anglais!

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What are the most funny Vous jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Vous? Well, here are the best Vous dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Vous pick up lines to share with friends.

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