The Best 75 Voting Jokes
Following is our collection of Voting jokes which are very funny. There are some voting presidency jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these voting election puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Voting Jokes and Puns
What's the difference between voting in an election and finding a girlfriend?
When you're voting, you pick the politician that sucks the least
Did you hear about the Italian that wanted to cheat the Broadway award voting?
He wanted to rig a Tony.
Rather than voting...
Which UK party will the sleeping pigs be voting for in May?
The Lay-Boar Party.
Apparently Monica Lewinsky is voting Republican
The Democrats must've left a bad taste in her mouth
(Shamefully stolen from facebook sorry if it's a repost)
I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders...
He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"
I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern."
Death changes a man
My entire life my father voted straight Republican, since his death he has been voting straight Democrat.
Clinton, Sanders, Trump and Cruz are having lunch together...
and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"
People who feel the Bern but don't like the sensation have been voting instead for Hillary....
... or as they like to call her, Preparation H
I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because...
According to Bill, she doesn't suck.
Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election
She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
You can explore voting ballot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean voting referendum dad jokes. There are also voting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Yo mama is so fat that she is voting for Sanders
COLONEL SANDERS
A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump.
They've both given it a lot of thought.
Raise your hand if you're voting for Hillary
Now slap yourself.
Always ask "are you voting for Sanders?" before sex.
If they say "yes" you know they are too young.
Monica Lewinski released a statement that said she would be voting for Donald Trump
the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site
...until the mods wake up.
The England team won't be voting in the referendum
They can never find the box let alone put a cross in it.
What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?
When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"
Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?
They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.
I'm surprised that the UK left the EU by voting.
Most of the time they leave on penalty kicks.
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Would you be offended if I said...
Would you be offended if I said that I'm not voting for that white, elitist, pompous, corrupt, egomaniac that's going to ruin our country?
...or would you even know which candidate I'm talking about?
Monica said she wasn't voting for Hilary...
because the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth
I told my family I'm voting for Hillary, she can't blow it!
If she did Monica wouldn't have to.
Voting is just like driving.
To go forward, choose D.
To go backwards, choose R.
You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health?
I'm voting for the dying one.
I am voting for Donald Trump because he will personally end racism in America...
Racism can't exist if everybody's white.
Voting this year will be like going to the dentist...
No one wants to do it, but we all know we should for our own good.
I told a man I was voting third party
He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"
"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."
Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary?
The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.
George Soros is a big reason im voting for Hillary!
His voting machines didn't really give me a choice.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Felons would be a really valuable voting base...
After all, we know they have conviction.
What does Harry Potter cast to stop big oil companies?
A ballot because voting is the ONLY WAY TO CHANGE THINGS!
You know who I'm voting for?
Regina George, because she got hit by that bus.
My voting machine broke in my voting booth today...
I guess you could say it had electile dysfunction.
If the voting recount flips the outcome of the election, I have the perfect guy to call Trump and tell him that he's no longer going to be President...
Steve Harvey.
"I have to apologize.....the 1st runner-up, is Trump. The next President of the United States is...Hillary Clinton!"
*DEEP INHALE*
"***WRONG***"
The controversy surrounding Donald Trump and the Russian hacking of American voting machines is being blown way out of proportion...
who cares if Putin voted for him.
Voting is a lot like driving
You wanna go forward put it in D you wanna go backwards put it in R
I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria
That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.
Raising your hand is the worst way for voting
Hands Down
A joke I told to my feminist girlfriend
Me: What lies between the kitchen and the bedroom?
Her: I don't know, tell me.
Me: Not a voting booth.
A woman walks into a bar
A woman walks into a bar and orders an Old Fashioned. So the bartender took away her voting rights.
I'm voting for a computer in 2020.
I think a computer can delete alt control.
I dont want to denigrate any brexiters for voting brexit...
And to any brexiters, denigrate means to put down.
Why are so many online nerds voting far-right?
They are terrible at socializing.
Roy Moore Was Popular With White Women Voters
I guess that's because once they reach voting age, they no longer feel threatened by him.
Just remember, voting is like driving!
D to go forward, R to go in reverse.
Democracy
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .
They picked pizza.
So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.
(Blatant copy from another joke)
It was just announced that President Putin won the election with 75% of people voting for him;
I voted for Hillary, so don't blame me.
Bush cheated using voting machines in Florida during the 2000 election
He screwed with the Al Gore rhythm.
Why are horses lousy at voting?
They only vote neigh.
Recent study shows Asian Americans aren't voting.
They are all at the doctor because erections aren't supposed to last more than 4 hours.
A midget got elected mayor yet no one recalled voting for him.
He had friends in high places
What's a horse's primary concern when voting?
A stable economy.
What's a horse's top priority when voting?
A stable economy.
How can you tell a republican from a democrat on voting day?
*millennial sigh*
With so many posts online telling me to vote, I kinda feel bad for not voting today
And I'm not even an American.
If driving a disabled friend to the polls in order to jump the line is wrong, I don't want to be right.
And if leaving her there after I found out who she was voting for is wrong, then wrong be I.
Back in my day, people used to wait for 4 hours to get their turn at the voting booth
They still do
You know your voting in San Francisco when...
The voting booth has a glory hole.
There's been a lot of talk about voting this past week...
Was American idol back on or something?
American Voting is a city bus accident
There are more claims than seats on the bus
Did you hear that Russia is going to legalize voting while drunk?
The government is saying: "What difference will it make if they are drunk or not?".
I can't believe they're considering an all mail election...
...females worked so hard to get voting rights
60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for...
Coronavirus for president!
I'm voting for an old, senile, racist, sexist, white man with rape allegations this year for president.
But I'm still not sure which one to pick.
The problem with voting based on your beliefs rather than your situation in life
Left wing girls won't date me because they don't like my views
Right wing girls won't date me because I don't have a job
Wait, I just checked with the left wing girls
They said they wouldn't date a guy with no job either
My girlfriend thinks Hawaii is sexist.
I told her we had all-mail voting.
Why I won't be voting for Trump or Biden
I'm Indian
Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....
'D' to go forward.
'R' to go reverse.
What's common between owning a cat and voting?
Checking a box for a piece of shit.
Voting results have just been certified at my house
My wife will remain in charge for another four years
Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.
The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the voting candidates jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working voting voter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.