vote Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious vote stories

What are the best Vote puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Vote? Well here is a complete list of Vote to have fun with:

My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal.

So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.

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if this gets 100 upvotes my girlfriend says we can try anal

Please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.

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What do Japanese men do when they have erections?

They vote.

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What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

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Why did the Jew vote for Obama?

Because he promised change.

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Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

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In Russia, you don't vote for Putin...

Putin votes FOR you.

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What do Asians do when they have erections?

They vote

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What do Japanese men do when they have erections?

Vote

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What do Asians do when they have an erection?

They vote

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What do the Japanese do when they have an erection?

They vote.

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This was once voted the UK's funniest joke...

A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"

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Why did Moses vote for Al Gore?

Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.

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What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

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What do Japanese men do when they have an erection?

They vote.

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How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb

Five. One to say they'll do it a second to try to change the law so you have to do it, a third to go on an expensive campaign to find out why it doesn't get done and two more to vote against it so it never happens.

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What do Japanese men do when they have an
erection?

They vote.

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My Girlfriend says if this gets 100 votes, We'll try anal.

For God's sake, DON'T FUCKING VOTE! Her dildo is terrifying!

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A libertarian vote walks out of a bar ...

... and goes, "God, I'm wasted."

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Two opposing candidates for county office...

... happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner.

One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."

"Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip a nickel and ask them to vote for you."

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A third-party vote walks out of a bar...

He says "Wow, I'm wasted."

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Politican sees the scottish barber

A politician went to his Scottish barber and asked, "Cut the word 'yes' into my haircut in back so when I sleep they'll know my vote.".

A week later he comes back and asks, "What did you do? My wife stopped cheating, and I've now got a reputation for looking out for corruption."


Barber says, "Well ye do have an 'aye' in the back of yer head."

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Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor.

Nobody should be able to vote in both.

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In the 18th century, a hopeful Asian laborer landed in America and went straight to the employment office.

He didn't speak a word of English, and the men at the employment office couldn't figure out where he was from. They took a vote to see if he was Chinese or Japanese.

It was a Thai.

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David Cameron sends Alex Salmond a text following the Scottish vote...

David: "Hi mate just checking in, u k?"

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How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

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Based on the Scotland vote results...

It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free.

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Yo momma so poor...[original]

she vote for Obama cos she want change



ahhh thank you ill be here all week

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Me- "Do you know in middle east most of married girls can't even vote on Facebook opinion poll".

Friend- "That's not true, there is no such law anywhere in middle east".
Me- "Yeah, but you need to be above 13 to use Facebook".

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Politics in Pakistan

You don't cast your vote.

You vote your caste.

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Vote Gaben for president

and there will be no World War 3.

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For the next election I am going to vote for the NSA

Because they listen to the voters even after the elections.

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Why did all the Jews vote for Obama?

Because they love change.

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Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?

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Vote!

Vote!
Vote early!
Vote your conscience!
Vote! Even if you've never voted before!
Vote! If your an Conservative, Vote!
Vote! If your an Democrat, Vote!
Vote! If your an Independent, Vote!
Vote! If your an Libertarian, Vote!
Vote! If your Republican, vote like you've never voted before!

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vote up if My favorite snail joke

A old man is eating dinner and he hears a knock on the door. He says "GET AWAY!" he hears another knock. So he finally gets up and goes to the door and sees a snail. The Man then gets angry and kicks him across the street. 3 weeks later the man is eating dinner and hears another knock he goes to the door and the snail is there and says " What was that for?"

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Is your refrigerator running?

Well then it's got my vote!

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What do Asians do during an erection

They vote

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Why did Jews vote for Obama.

They love change.

(Jk jewish people! Much love to all religions and races )
Original Joke by Me.

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Vote up if you like cats

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What do asian men do when they have an erection?

They vote.

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Vote!

Vote!

Vote early!

Vote your conscience!

Vote! Even if you've never voted before!

Vote! If you are a Conservative, Vote!

Vote! If you are a Democrat, Vote!

Vote! If you are an Independent, Vote!

Vote! If you are a Libertarian, Vote!

Vote! If you are a Republican, vote like you've never voted before!

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What's the difference between a talking frog and a zebra who won't talk?

They both won't vote for Trump.

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Who did the chickens vote for president?

Baraaaaaak Obama

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My dad after being helped by a woman in a hijab when we went to vote yesterday...

"Helping people isn't my job, it's hijab."

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I refuse to vote in the US presidential elections!

Mainly because I don't live there, nor am I american.

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Yo momma so white...

...she thinks mayonaise is a spice.
...when she goes to vote, her name is still on the list.
...when she goes to jail, she gets parole.

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What do phone books and women have in common?

They both couldn't vote before 1920

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short jokes

I have gotten some good jokes from yall... I hope yall enjoy these
Sorry no Easter jokes if you celebrate Easter or anything like that... have a good one

Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.

Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!

Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!

Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.

Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!

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THE GREAT JIZZ CHALLENGE

Once there was a girl who loved sex she would live with men then fuck them to death.
One day there was a business man and he was really muscular he went to her house and had sex with her and she was dieting from protein but so she couldn't eat his jizz ...

Up vote for ending

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best vote jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty vote gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these vote jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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