Vote Jokes

Funniest Vote Short Jokes

Short vote jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vote humour may include short poll jokes also.

1. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
2. Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being russian is? Getting to vote in American elections.
3. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza. I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
4. Donald Trump said if I voted for hillary clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.
5. Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
6. Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
7. Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
8. I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
9. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
10. My dentist was voted "Dentist Of The Year".... He didn't get a trophy, they just gave him a little plaque.

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Vote One Liners

Which vote one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vote? I can suggest the ones about election and survey.

1. is your refrigerator running? If so, I may vote for it.
2. Why do dads tell jokes here? For the groan up votes.
3. La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture But Moonlight won the popular vote
4. I changed my name to Trump in Among Us No one has voted me since
5. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback
   Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion
6. I think there should be a vote recount. It'll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.
7. What's a horse's primary concern when voting? A stable economy.
8. I tried to argue Skyrim was the best game ..but I was down voted to oblivion.
9. I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%
10. What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote.
11. Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
    (go ahead and down vote :P)
12. Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us? It's the only place they can vote
13. In Russia, you don't vote for Putin... Putin votes FOR you.
14. Just remember, voting is like driving! D to go forward, R to go in reverse.
15. I was voted Least likely to succeed by my High School class. I hate my teaching job.

Election Vote Jokes

Here is a list of funny election vote jokes and even better election vote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.
• I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.
• Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote, Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.
• With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
• Why i love being Russian I get to vote in the US election
  FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia
• As they say during election season in Transylvania... Every Count Votes
• I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why: I'm Swedish
• Did you hear about the results of the recent Ent election? The alder statesman will remain at the elm, despite losing the poplar vote.
• In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote. A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".
• Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor. Nobody should be able to vote in both.

Popular Vote Jokes

Here is a list of funny popular vote jokes and even better popular vote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• what is in common between h.clinton and ronda rousey? they both won the popular vote
• Today, Franklin D. Roosevelt would be even more popular as president. All anti-vaxxers would vote for him.
• The vote for president isn't A popularity contest
• Trump has finally been impeached. Looks like he's won the popular vote, not once, but twice!
• Roy Moore Was Popular With White Women Voters I guess that's because once they reach voting age, they no longer feel threatened by him.
• The patriots may have won the super bowl... But the Falcons won the popular vote

Vote Of Thanks Jokes

Here is a list of funny vote of thanks jokes and even better vote of thanks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Welcome to the first annual hunger games America. Thank you to all the married cousins that voted for president snow.
• Theresa May Survive Non-confidence vote... ...or she may not.
  Thank you.
• I voted for 404: page not found Thank God I voted for Hillary

Vote For Me Jokes

Here is a list of funny vote for me jokes and even better vote for me puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health? I'm voting for the dying one.
• Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium
• The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
• The year is 2077... Brexit negotiations continue.
  Nevada has counted 98% of the votes.
  Cyberpunk has been delayed again.
• If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
  I'll show myself out
• A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.
• Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade. Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
• I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria... I did, and the predictions came true!
• Why did Moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.
• Why I won't be voting for Trump or Biden I'm Indian

Amusing Vote Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about vote you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vote pranks.