Amusing Vote Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
In Russia, you don't vote for Putin...
Putin votes FOR you.
What do Japanese men do when they have erections?
They vote.
Why isn't energy made of atoms?
It doesn't matter
(go ahead and down vote :P)
What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.
Why did the Jew vote for Obama?
Because he promised change.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb
Five. One to say they'll do it a second to try to change the law so you have to do it, a third to go on an expensive campaign to find out why it doesn't get done and two more to vote against it so it never happens.
What do Asians do during an e**...?
They vote
Why did Moses vote for Al Gore?
Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.
This was once voted the UK's funniest joke...
A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"
Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie
The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth.
What do chinese people do when they have an e**...?
they vote
You can explore vote upvote reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vote democrats dad jokes. There are also vote puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation.
Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.
A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump.
They've both given it a lot of thought.
The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is
......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
I think I'll vote the NSA for president...
...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.
Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :
Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium
Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?
They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.
Is your refrigerator running?
Because I'd vote for it.
I vote Gabe Newell for president.
There will never be a World War 3.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion
I told a man I was voting third party
He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"
"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."
To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner.
They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway.
In a democracy, it's your vote that counts...
...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change.
Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!
With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say
Make America Great Britain again!
I voted for Jill Stein
Finally I'm part of the 1%
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.
La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture
But Moonlight won the popular vote
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?
The Americans had a chance to vote.
An 18 year old in America is allowed to buy an AR-15, vote, enlist in the army, buy cigarettes, get a lottery ticket, and die for their country...
...but god FORBID they try to rent a car.
Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote,
Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.
Putin's top official comes to him after the election...
"You won with 99% of the vote! Only 1% if Russia voted against you! What more could you want?" The officer said overjoyed.
Putin stared at him. "Their names."
Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote
Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
Why Didn't Monica Lewinsky Vote For Hilary Clinton?
Because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why:
I'm Swedish
Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being Russian is?
Getting to vote in American elections.
Why i love being Russian
I get to vote in the US election
FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia
Is your refrigerator running?
If so, I may vote for it.
When you're 18 you're old enough to vote but not to drink.
But if you look at who we have to vote for, you could use a drink.
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
My kids were asking me how democracy works, so I let them vote on dinner as a teaching exercise.They picked pizza..
.. but I made tacos, because they don't live in a swing state.
Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns
Now he is an electoral college drop out
How do you deal with a toddler throwing a tantrum?
Tell him to wait until the vote count is finished
I think there should be a vote recount.
It'll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.
Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us?
It's the only place they can vote
If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses
Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
I'll show myself out
I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn't vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.
The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.
The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.
A vegan bitcoin investor who does CrossFit and didn't vote in the 2016 election walks into a bar.
Now everyone's wondering what he's gonna bring up first.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.
I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
I was voted Least likely to succeed by my High School class.
I hate my teaching job.
Why did homeless people vote for Obama?
Because he said he'd bring change.
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
Two schoolgirls are talking about who to vote for Class President.
"I'm voting for Mark. He's so dreamy!"
"I'm not voting for that big h**.... Every time he sees me he gets turned on. He tries to act like it's not happening, but it's pretty obvious."
"So?"
"I'm not voting for an e**... denier."
Why do chinese people love playing Among Us ?
Because thats the only place they can vote
So, I decided to teach my kids about democracy, right?
I was like, 'Alright kids, we're gonna have a vote. We're gonna decide on what show to watch and what food to order.'
And they're excited, they're like, 'Ooh, democracy!'
And I'm like, 'Yeah, this is how it works.'
And then I picked the show and got the food I wanted because I'm the one with the money.
