The Best 61 Vote Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vote jokes. There are some vote senate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vote recount puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Vote Jokes and Puns

In Russia, you don't vote for Putin...

Putin votes FOR you.

What do Japanese men do when they have erections?

They vote.

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

Vote joke, Why isn't energy made of atoms?

What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

Why did the Jew vote for Obama?

Because he promised change.


How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb

Five. One to say they'll do it a second to try to change the law so you have to do it, a third to go on an expensive campaign to find out why it doesn't get done and two more to vote against it so it never happens.

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

Vote joke, What do Asians do during an erection?

Politican sees the scottish barber

A politician went to his Scottish barber and asked, "Cut the word 'yes' into my haircut in back so when I sleep they'll know my vote.".

A week later he comes back and asks, "What did you do? My wife stopped cheating, and I've now got a reputation for looking out for corruption."

Barber says, "Well ye do have an 'aye' in the back of yer head."

Why did Moses vote for Al Gore?

Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.

This was once voted the UK's funniest joke...

A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"

Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie

The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth.

You can explore vote upvote reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vote democrats dad jokes. There are also vote puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do chinese people do when they have an erection?

they vote

Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:

"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation.

Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.

A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump.

They've both given it a lot of thought.

The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is

......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.

Vote joke, The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is

My brain made a vote today

Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder.

The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.

But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.

I think I'll vote the NSA for president...

...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.


Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Is your refrigerator running?

Because I'd vote for it.

I vote Gabe Newell for president.

There will never be a World War 3.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

I told a man I was voting third party

He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"

"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."

To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner.

They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway.

In a democracy, it's your vote that counts...

...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change.

Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say

Make America Great Britain again!

I voted for Jill Stein

Finally I'm part of the 1%

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

La La Land wins Oscar in Best Picture

But Moonlight won the popular vote

A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.

The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.

So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?

The Americans had a chance to vote.

An 18 year old in America is allowed to buy an AR-15, vote, enlist in the army, buy cigarettes, get a lottery ticket, and die for their country...

...but god FORBID they try to rent a car.

Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote,

Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.

Putin's top official comes to him after the election...

"You won with 99% of the vote! Only 1% if Russia voted against you! What more could you want?" The officer said overjoyed.

Putin stared at him. "Their names."

Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote

Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious

Why Didn't Monica Lewinsky Vote For Hilary Clinton?

Because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why:

I'm Swedish

Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being Russian is?

Getting to vote in American elections.

Why i love being Russian

I get to vote in the US election

FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia

Is your refrigerator running?

If so, I may vote for it.

When you're 18 you're old enough to vote but not to drink.

But if you look at who we have to vote for, you could use a drink.

The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

My kids were asking me how democracy works, so I let them vote on dinner as a teaching exercise.They picked pizza..

.. but I made tacos, because they don't live in a swing state.

Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns

Now he is an electoral college drop out

How do you deal with a toddler throwing a tantrum?

Tell him to wait until the vote count is finished

I think there should be a vote recount.

It'll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.

Why do Chinese people love playing Among Us?

It's the only place they can vote

If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses

Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.

I'll show myself out

Two white mice chat...

The first one asks: "Did you get the Covid-19 vaccine?"

The second replies: "Hey, I am not crazy they didn't yet finish the tests on humans!"





Vote me down to oblivion but still the answer is 42!

In democracy your vote counts.

But in feudalism, your Count votes.

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn't vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

Why was it illegal to vote for Trump in the 2020 election?

It was strictly forbiden.

A Reporter Asks Hillary Clinton if she Thinks Monica Will Vote for Her

A reporter asks Hillary Clinton if she thinks Monica will vote for her.

Well , Hillary replies, she already messed up one Clinton presidency, let's just hope she doesn't blow it again.

I once ran for class president against a boy with terminal cancer

I know I lost to the simpathy vote, although in retrospective I did run a very negative campaign

"Vote for me, I won't abandon you in 2 months"

Why don't horse's governments ever get anything done?

Because they always vote neigh

What do you call it when the people vote on legalizing weed?

A reeferendum.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vote ballot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vote referendum piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes