Vomit Jokes

Funniest Vomit Short Jokes

Short vomit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vomit humour may include short nemesis jokes also.

1. On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
2. I swallowed a penny, and then vomited it afterwards, Because change should come from within.
3. Vomiting in someone else's house is pretty impolite, but projectile-vomiting in their house... ...is really beyond the pail.
4. What did the man say after he vomited up a large grey African animal in the house. I hate to bring up the elephant in the room.
   (I never said it was a good joke).
5. Dads Anonymous Dad: Go on, it's safe here.
   Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern
   *One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely*
6. An African man was found lying on the ground with a grain of rice next to him in the morning, what happened? He was vomiting the whole night.
7. A drunk man exited a bar vomiting and almost got some on the timepiece of a police officer who was standing on the street. The cop said, "not on MY watch"
8. What does an Irishman call it when the girl he's been chatting up all night accidentally vomits on him? Second base.
9. I was having lunch with the Russian President when all of a sudden he vomited... It was very off Putin
   (This is one of my first jokes, pls don't hate)
10. What is it called when you newborn starts vomiting as soon as you you give him something special you prepared? Feedback

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Vomit One Liners

Which vomit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vomit? I can suggest the ones about excrement and spit out.

1. Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving? It's all over town.
2. Some people think vomiting is hard... but I got threw it with flying colors.
3. I vomited while at the library today. The librarian asked me to keep it down.
4. A farmer caught in his farm vomiting animals (Very funny video)
5. Dad jokes rule. Me: Hey, what's up Chuck?
   Chuck: An obscure reference to vomiting.
6. What's yellow and smells like a zebra? Lion v**....
7. Just turned wine into v**.... Your move Jesus.
8. Why did the man v**... after eating Middle Eastern food? It made his stomach falafel.
9. A cannibal vomits after his meal. You really can't keep a good man down...
10. What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up? v**... 😝
11. What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus? Koala vomit...
12. My girlfriend is an alchemist. Last night she drank 8 r**... & cokes. Then she vomited 7-up.
13. I made fun of my mate when his acid reflux caused him to v**...... It was a sick burn.
14. what's food backwards? v**...
15. What do you call explosive cow v**...?
    A cud missle.

Amusing Vomit Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about vomit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vomit pranks.