JokoJokes

Vomit Jokes

38 vomit jokes and hilarious vomit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vomit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our vomit jokes! We've got all the best jokes about vomiting, so you're sure to find something to make you laugh.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Vomit Short Jokes

Short vomit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vomit humour may include short puke jokes also.

  1. On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
  2. I swallowed a penny, and then vomited it afterwards, Because change should come from within.
  3. Vomiting in someone else's house is pretty impolite, but projectile-vomiting in their house... ...is really beyond the pail.
  4. What did the man say after he vomited up a large grey African animal in the house. I hate to bring up the elephant in the room.
    (I never said it was a good joke).
  5. Dads Anonymous Dad: Go on, it's safe here.
    Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern
    *One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely*
  6. An African man was found lying on the ground with a grain of rice next to him in the morning, what happened? He was vomiting the whole night.
  7. two cannibals are eating a priest, and then they start projectile vomiting "It's true" one says to the other
    "you just can't keep a good man down!"
  8. A drunk man exited a bar vomiting and almost got some on the timepiece of a police officer who was standing on the street. The cop said, "not on MY watch"
  9. What does an Irishman call it when the girl he's been chatting up all night accidentally vomits on him? Second base.
  10. I was having lunch with the Russian President when all of a sudden he vomited... It was very off Putin
    (This is one of my first jokes, pls don't hate)

Share These Vomit Jokes With Friends




Vomit One Liners

Which vomit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vomit? I can suggest the ones about nemesis and excrement.

  1. Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving? It's all over town.
  2. A cannibal vomits after his meal. You really can't keep a good man down...
  3. Some people think vomiting is hard... but I got threw it with flying colors.
  4. I vomited while at the library today. The librarian asked me to keep it down.
  5. A farmer caught in his farm vomiting animals (Very funny video)
  6. Yo mama so ugly bulimics look at her face to induce vomiting
  7. Dad jokes rule. Me: Hey, what's up Chuck?
    Chuck: An obscure reference to vomiting.
  8. Jesus turned water into wine. I turned wine into v**....
    Your turn Jesus.
  9. What's yellow and smells like a zebra? Lion v**....
  10. Just turned wine into v**.... Your move Jesus.
  11. Why did the man v**... after eating Middle Eastern food? It made his stomach falafel.
  12. What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up? v**... 😝
  13. What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus? Koala v**...
  14. My girlfriend is an alchemist. Last night she drank 8 r**... & cokes. Then she vomited 7-up.
  15. I made fun of my mate when his acid reflux caused him to v**...... It was a sick burn.

Vomit joke, I made fun of my mate when his acid reflux caused him to v**......

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about vomit can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of vomit puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Amusing Vomit Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about vomit you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean spit out jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make vomit prank.

Drunk guy at a bar

So there's a drunk guy at a bar and all of a sudden he starts to v**.... Oh no, I vomited on my t-shirt, my wife is gonna kill me! Says the drunkard. Let me help you with that , says the bartender. The bartender goes to the drunk guy and says: tell your wife some idiot vomited on your t-shirt and gave you 10 dollar for the inconvenience. Off he goes, the drunk guy.. he tells his wife the story and hands her 20 dollar. But you said 10 dollar , replies his wife. Yes but the idiot also s**... in my pants!

Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already...

Woman: Did you just quote Eminem?
Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!

A man walks into a bar, his head hung in shame.

"What'll it be?" asks the bartender.
The man says, "Just a club soda. I think I'm done drinking."
The bartender fills the order. "Why?"
"Well," the man says, "Last night I got so drunk, I went home and blew chunks."
"I've been tending bar for 25 years," the bartender sympathizes, "and I have seen a lot of people v**... after drinking too much. It's not that big of a deal."
The man takes a long sip of the soda. "You don't understand," he says. "Chunks is my dog."

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

Vomiting is like s**......

It's sometimes better to just bend over and let it happen.
When it comes it comes.
You usually feel g**... afterwards, but there's still a sense of relief.

Jimmy Hendrix died in a pool of his own v**...

Do you guys know how much v**... it takes to fill up a pool?
(*Bill Hicks?)

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

His palms are sweaty...

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already.
WebMD: *TYPHOID fever*

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. frat boys don't screw in lightbulbs; they screw in puddles of v**....

I can build and fix small engines using only v**..., f**... and rotted animals.

Due to my g**... motor skills.

Blowing chunks

Two guys are talking and one asks the other, "Hey, you wanna go drinking later, I just got promoted?"
The other replies, "Thanks, but I can't."
"Aw, come one why not?"
"Cause last time I went drinking, I blew chunks."
"That's normal, people v**... after drinking all the time."
"No, you don't understand; Chunks is my dog."

Having s**... with me is a lot like riding a roller coaster

It's over in about a minute and makes you want to v**...

Two pools of v**... walk into a bar...

One goes straight to the bathroom, while the other orders a couple of drinks.
When the first one comes back, he sees his friend staring at the floor with a tear in his eye.
"What's wrong, Spewurt?", he asks.
"Oh it's nothing, Heave." his friend replies. "I was just feeling a bit nostalgic. This is where I was brought up!"

Having a cat is like living with a piece of art...

Sometimes, you just have someone v**... on your carpet.

How many Fratboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, fratboys screw in their own v**...!

Vomit joke, How many Fratboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these vomit jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.