Volunteer Jokes
69 volunteer jokes and hilarious volunteer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about volunteer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious jokes about volunteerism! From volunteer firefighters in Tennessee to church volunteers, find out how to make light of volunteering with the community. Learn how to hypnotize the volunteers into staying long enough to help out the guild.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Volunteer Short Jokes
Short volunteer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The volunteer humour may include short donate jokes also.
- I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
"No" she sobbed
I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage - Justin Timberlake has volunteered to fight along side ukrainian Forces His first task… Crimea River
- Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer? It's a non-prophet organization.
- I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes
- *year 2020* Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma since 2017 Patient: I thought I was on a United flight.
Nurse: You were but you were volunteered to get off. - I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...
Because you always win. - As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison. I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".
- I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery. It's a naan prophet organization.
- Because I'm such a Portal 2 fan, I created my own levels. Sadly, none of the "volunteers" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions.
- My wife volunteers every week as a school crossing guard. I tell everyone she's into human trafficking.
Share These Volunteer Jokes With Friends
Volunteer One Liners
Which volunteer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with volunteer? I can suggest the ones about participate and contribute.
- I volunteered to help blind children today! That's a verb not an adjective btw.
- "How many volunteers do we have for the army?" "384 sir"
"okay round them up"
"400 sir" - I love volunteering at the AIDS clinic. Everybody is so positive.
- I volunteered to help blind kids from ages 1 to 14 Oh and blind was a verb
- I volunteer part time as a jouster at the renaissance fair. I'm a free lancer.
- Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.
- I love volunteering so much.. I'd do it for free
- I was doing well before I started volunteering at the soup kitchen; now I'm doing good.
- I volunteer a lot at a children's hospice... It never gets old.
- What do you call an airport security employee? A volunteer
- What does NAVY stand for? Never Again Volunteer Yourself.
- What kind of clothes does a volunteer wear? Participants.
- TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep....
- I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome. Any takers?
- When there are no volunteers, they get appointed.
Church Volunteer Jokes
Here is a list of funny church volunteer jokes and even better church volunteer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My local church is looking for volunteers to help with the next stage of the restoration. If anyone is interested in helping, give us a bell.
Volunteer Firefighter Jokes
Here is a list of funny volunteer firefighter jokes and even better volunteer firefighter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- No one understands how important milliseconds are, better than volunteer firefighters It's the amount of time they have from meeting you, to telling you they are a volunteer firefighter.
- Did you know that on 911... Bill from the Bronx was a volunteer firefighter
Quirky and Hilarious Volunteer Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about volunteer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean community service jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make volunteer pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For my next trick I need a c**... and a volunteer...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season...
So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.
The Rabbit, The bear, and The genie.
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit trips on a glistening metal object. The bear quickly picks up the object which appears to be a silver oil lamp.
A genie appeared forth.
The genie looked at the bear then the rabbit, then back at the bear.
"Alright, which of you schmucks freed me?"
"Me" the bear and rabbit said simultaneously.
The genie looked at the rabbit, then back at the bear. "Alright, I'm in a good mood, so you both get three wishes. Who's going first?"
The bear volunteered. "I wish all the other bears in this forest were female" He said.
"I wish I had a motorcycle" said the rabbit.
"Done and done" said the genie. Next wish?
The bear got a dumb smile and said "I wish all the other bears in the surrounding forests were female."
The rabbit hopped on the motorcycle. "I wish I was wearing a helmet"
"Alright. easy enough."
The bear a grin across his face yelled "I wish all the other bears in the world were female!"
The rabbit revved the engine, put on some goggles and as he sped away yelled "I wish the bear was gay!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't b**... Your Mother
Mrs. Rabin comes to visit her son Bernie for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Elaine. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Bernie's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Bernie and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bernie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Elaine and I are just roommates.''
About a week later, Elaine came to Bernie saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote an email:
*Dear Mom
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son
Bernie*
Several days later, Bernie received a response email from his Mom which read:
*Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Elaine, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mother*
A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"
So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions:
1) No one can find out that I did this.
2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely.
3) I'm gonna need some time to come up with the $500."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church
I really hope I get the m**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever have one of those days where you're wiping away and the p**... is all wet and slimy so your finger breaks through the toilet roll and your finger just slips inside, like two knuckles deep? I just had a day like that.
Anyway, I'm not allowed to volunteer at *that* child care centre anymore.
A British girl meets a guy...
And they hit it off immediately. The girl goes to her dad the next day to tell him about it.
"Oh, dad, he's just the sweetest! He loves dancing and photography, he's great with kids, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. He's funny, handsome, a great listener, oh! and he's a goalie for a local football team. Oh dad, what do you think?"
Her dad looked at her with an odd expression and said "Oh honey...
... *he's a keeper*"
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
One Slytherin to break it.
One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.
Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.
And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.
The Ant, and Spider,were hanging at the millipede's house...
They ran out of Booze. So being a good host, the Millipede volunteered to get more at the store.
Waited for 2 hours and the millipede was nowhere to be found.
They opened the front door and saw the Millipede was still putting on his shoes ..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I also called a s**... hotline in Iraq...
They told me to try calling back in a few days because they already had enough volunteers for the week.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
King: How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?
Squire: 384 my liege
king: Ok, round them up
Squire: 400 my liege
Guys, please don't drink and drive this holiday season!
If you want to drive safely we can help.
Please call us. We have senior experienced people of all ages
Our volunteers will come and drink for you so you can drive safely
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My motto is "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
They don't let me volunteer for the s**... prevention hotline anymore.
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day...
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day behind the help desk when a black guy asks where the colored printers are.
I said, "it's MLK day 2018, you can use whichever printer you want!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a friend who's a cannibal, but he's a really great guy. He only eats murderers, rapists, and child molesters. He builds homes for the homeless. He volunteers.
He's a real humanitarian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pastor was accused of s**... misconduct
When interrogated by police, he said "I don't understand, she gave consent...I asked if she'd volunteer for a m**... and she enthusiastically accepted."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw my brother m**... in his room when I was seven
I asked him what he's doing. He didn't want mum to know about this and told me he's practising Chinese kungfu. I shall never forget the day when I volunteered to demonstrate Chinese kungfu in front of everyone in class.
Even though Sea World is shut down, the animals still need to be taken care of
Obama answers the call for volunteers. On his first day, they assign him to feed the baby dolphins.
As he is doing so, another volunteer accosts him "Our country is in crisis. Don't you have anything better to do?"
He replied "I think I'm serving a youthful porpoise."
my friend and i were talking about a recent holiday i'd been on
me: i took my girlfriend to a caribbean island last month
friend: jamaica?
me: no, she volunteered
I didn't tell anybody but I volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials for C-19 in Amsterdam
I received my first shot today and wanted to let you all know that it's completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно
Cincinnati Bengals allowing 2,500 fans into the stadium for the first game.
Word is, now they're looking for 2,000 volunteers to attend the game.
I was volunteering at a soup kitchen buttering the rolls, but they threw me out for having a dry cough
I'm a bit confused why they asked me to leave - they said I was a super spreader?
I tried to find volunteers for a tug of war game during a party, but failed miserably
The good players just won't come forward.
A mathematician wants more excitement and wants to become a volunteer fireman on the weekends
He goes through the training, and proceeds to take the written final exam.
Question 1: You come across a car that is flipped upside down and on fire with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers with the steps he was taught in training.
Question 2: You come across a car that is flipped upside down with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers, Set the car on fire. Now it is a solved problem.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Medical science has come a long way.
There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the f**... from new born males and create eyelids for those born without them. The procedure has been highly successful, although the children do look a little cockeyed.
Along with the Antimatter and Darkmatter, Physicists in collaboration with volundads (dads who volunteered, from all over the world) have discovered the existence of another matter called
Doesn't matter, which seems to have no effect on the universe whatsoever
Our teenage boy just volunteered to do his own laundry for the first time…
I guess he doesn't want mom to touch his socks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During a show, a magician asked for a volunteer from the audience and a blonde walked up to the stage.
"Think of a number between 1 and 10," he said.
Silence.
After a moment he cleared his t**....
Nothing.
After another moment he asked the blonde, "Are you ready?"
She started crying and said, "If you keep interrupting me I'll never be able to come up with one!"
I was stunned to find out that my grandfather was involved in human trafficking.
He used to volunteer as a crossing guard.
