Volunteer Jokes

Following is our collection of guild puns and unionize one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Volunteer jokes for adults, dirty charities jokes and clean swordsman dad gags for kids.

The Best Volunteer Puns

I volunteered to help blind children today!

That's a verb not an adjective btw.

I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone

"Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"

"No" she sobbed

I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage

After work, I volunteer to help blind children

By the way: Verb, not adjective

"How many volunteers do we have for the army?"

"384 sir"

"okay round them up"

"400 sir"

Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?

It's a non-prophet organization.


I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale

I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

I didn't tell anybody but I volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials for C-19 in Amsterdam

I received my first shot today and wanted to let you all know that it's completely safe with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and that I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฯŒ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ

My motto is "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

They don't let me volunteer for the suicide prevention hotline anymore.

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six.

One Slytherin to break it.

One Gryffindor to volunteer to change it.

Three Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder to ensure the safety of the Gryffindor student.

And one Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic in the first place.

So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church

I really hope I get the missionary position

I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season...

So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.


I volunteered to help blind kids from ages 1 to 14

Oh and blind was a verb

I volunteer part time as a jouster at the renaissance fair.

I'm a free lancer.

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for Covid-19. It's been kept very, very quiet for security reasons. I received my first shot and wanted to let you know that it's completely safe with ะธo side effects whatsoeveั, and that I feelshฮบฮน ฯ‡oฯoshฮฟฬ ั ั‡ัƒะฒัั‚ะฒัƒัŽ ัะตะฑั ะฝะตะผะฝะพะณะพ ัั‚ั€ะฐะฝะฝะพ ะธ ั ะดัƒะผะฐัŽ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฒั‹ั‚ะฐั‰ะธะป ะพัะปะธะฝั‹ะต ัƒัˆะธ.

I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school

I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...


Because you always win.

As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison.

I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".

A pastor was accused of sexual misconduct

When interrogated by police, he said "I don't understand, she gave consent...I asked if she'd volunteer for a missionary position and she enthusiastically accepted."

Even though Sea World is shut down, the animals still need to be taken care of

Obama answers the call for volunteers. On his first day, they assign him to feed the baby dolphins.

As he is doing so, another volunteer accosts him "Our country is in crisis. Don't you have anything better to do?"

He replied "I think I'm serving a youthful porpoise."

I volunteered to help blind kids today.

That's a verb not an adjective, by the way.


Ever have one of those days where you're wiping away and the poo is all wet and slimy so your finger breaks through the toilet roll and your finger just slips inside, like two knuckles deep? I just had a day like that.

Anyway, I'm not allowed to volunteer at *that* child care centre anymore.

No one understands how important milliseconds are, better than volunteer firefighters

It's the amount of time they have from meeting you, to telling you they are a volunteer firefighter.

What do you call an airport security employee?

A volunteer

Using a pencil to vote in the 2015 General Election...

As safe an option as letting Jimmy Saville volunteer in a Kids Hospital.

A magician discovers time travel

A magician pulls out a sledgehammer and asks for a volunteer. A guy comes up and the magician says, "I want you to hit me in the head with this sledgehammer." So the volunteer picks the sledgehammer up and swings it down into the magician's head. The magician wakes up in a hospital bed three years later and says, "Tadaaaaahhhh!!!!"

**Credits to u/GeneralText**

I volunteer a lot at a children's hospice...

It never gets old.

I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood.

I guess they didn't want me to use crayon.

Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day...

Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day behind the help desk when a black guy asks where the colored printers are.

I said, "it's MLK day 2018, you can use whichever printer you want!"

Bob's volunteered to give a C programming workshop but needs a topic

Give that man some pointers

Magicians in The Future

"I need a volunteer. Hmm... Yes, you! The attack helicopter in the red shirt!"

When it comes to volunteering on my gynaecology residency,

I'm the first to put my hand up.

What does NAVY stand for?

Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

What kind of clothes does a volunteer wear?

Participants.

I should have known what I was getting into when I volunteered to help clean off the graffiti.

The writing was on the wall.

A man was at a HIV volunteer center...

...to give a motivational talk to the patients

He told them they need to stay positive.

Not surprise he got kicked out shortly after

I don't know about you, but I'd love to volunteer at a battered women's shelter

I betcha the cakes they make are amazing

United airlines did get one good thing out of this all.

Everyone will volunteer their seat if they're over booked.

TIL...

Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep....

I've been volunteering a lot with the hearing impaired lately:

I couldn't care less about them as a group, but it's the only way to find a girlfriend who is completely mute.

I was asked if I wanted to volunteer at the U2 concert...

...I said I don't like to do Pro Bono work.

Robert Mueller goes before Congress..

Rhetorically, he asks who would be so low that they would sell our country and values for personal profit?

All of the republicans stand to volunteer.

Woman is at her funeral a man stands up he says

"Volunteer"

"That helps a lot" replied the woman

I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome.

Any takers?

I'm doing volunteer work at an abortion clinic

It's great. Not only do I get to meet lots of easy chicks, I know they're not looking for anything too serious.

There is an abundance of paces jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 43 funniest jokes and volunteer puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any management witze you can hear about volunteer.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes