The Best 83 Volume Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Volume jokes. There are some volume fidelity jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these volume magnitude puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Volume Jokes and Puns

Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Math Problem

Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume?

A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)

I Have Decided To Publish My Sex Journal

in two volumes.

Volume A: Thinking About It

Volume B: Talking About It

Volume joke, I Have Decided To Publish My Sex Journal

I found a TV on the sidewalk in front of a house.

The owner had left a note. "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."

I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"

An incredible phenomenon of life

A pepperoni of radius 'z' and height 'a' has a volume of piยทzยทzยทa


I was shopping with my wife the other day and saw a TV on sale for $20...

It said that the volume was stuck on full. I looked at my wife and said "I can't turn this one down!"

The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.

The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.

Volume joke, The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball

What fills the entire volume of its container and may become volatile and explosive when compressed?

NYC subway commuters.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then ฮ  * radius^2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a"

Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a

I saw an advert for a ยฃ1 TV.

I saw an advert for a ยฃ1 TV. It said "The volume is stuck on full."

Well, I can't turn that down, can I?

You can explore volume diameter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean volume reduce dad jokes. There are also volume puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Area Man Discovers New Dimension, Becomes Volume Man

In my old age, I am like a fine wine...

Fifteen percent alcohol by volume.

Saw a tv for sale on eBay for ยฃ5. Only problem was the volume button was broken.....

How can I turn that down?

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

I walked past an electronics store once...

I saw a TV for sale in the window. The sticker said, "TV for sale, volume stuck on full, $1"

I thought to myself, "Wow. I can't turn that down."

Volume joke, I walked past an electronics store once...

I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high...

...I thought, I can't turn this down!

My friend just got married, and now he wants to sell his 47 volume Encyclopedia Britannica. He says he doesn't need it.

His wife knows everything.

A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer...

...were each asked to establish the volume of a red rubber ball. The physicist immersed the ball in a beaker full of water and measured the volume of the displaced fluid. The mathematician measured the diameter and calculated a triple integral. The engineer looked it up in his Red Rubber Ball Volume Table.


Guy offered to sell me his TV for a dollar

The volume was stuck at full. I thought, 'I can't turn that down.'

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

I saw an advert that read: Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.

I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

A man goes to a garage sale.

He walks up to a brand new 50 inch flat screen television for $1.

Man - "Is that TV seriously $1?"

Owner - "Sure is, even comes with surround sound!"

Man - "What's the catch then?"

Owner - "Well the volume is stuck on high and it's always going to be loud."

Man - "Well I can't turn that down!"

A man notices a TV for sale.

"Hey, how much is this TV?"

The salesman replies "1 dollar."

"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"

The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."

"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"

"Yup."

"Wow, can't turn that down."

Saw an advertisement for a free TV

It said "Volume stuck on high, free to first person who wants it."

I thought to myself "Man, I cant turn this down!"

I bought a new TV today...

Got a great 50" HDTV for $29.99 today.

Of course, there was a catch... The volume was stuck at the max setting so it was incredibly loud.

But for $29.99, I couldn't turn it down.

Needed some help with romance, so I took the book "How to Hug" out of the library.

Turns out it was volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.

A man was selling his TV

A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks

'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'

'yup'

'It looks brand new!'

'It is.'

'What's wrong with it?'

'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change that'

'So whatever I watch the volume is on Max, and you're only selling it for a dollar?'

'yup'

'Wow, can't turn that down.'

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

About one U.S Leader.

I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from!

My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I'll start washing my hair with dish washing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.

A monk once explained me the beauty of silence .

I went home and listened to a blank cd on full volume.

I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full"

Couldn't turn it down.

A physicist was in Las Vegas

Tour guide: Las Vegas is also known as Sin City.

Physicist: Do you know what Den City is though?

Tour guide: No, I don't know.

Physicist: Mass over volume.

I'll see myself out.

"Do you know what sin city is?"

"Yeah, that's Las Vegas"

"But do you know what Den City is"

"No"

"Mass over volume"

Do you know what Sin City is?

Person 1: Do you know what Sin City is?

Person 2: Las Vegas

Person 1: Do you know what the Windy City is?

Person 2: Chicago

Person 1: Do you know what Den City is?

Person 2: ...

Person 1: Mass over volume

My new 1000 watt sound system is great!

I can control the volume of my neighbors banging on my door.

I need you to make a container with finite temperature and infinite volume

No pressure

What do you call soft-spoken security guards at the Samsung store?

Gaurdians of the Galaxy: Volume 2

Man finds an HD TV in a Garage Sale

"How much is this TV?" the man said.

The seller responded, "One dollar."

"Wow, only one dollar?"

"Yep, one dollar."

Why is it so cheap?" asked the man.

"Its volume is turned all the way up, and you can't adjust it, it's stuck that way." said the seller.

"So the volume is always turned up?"

"Yep."

"And it's only a dollar?"

"Yes, one dollar."

"Just cause the volume is turned all the way up?"

"Yep."

"Wow! Can't turn that down."

Nervous about watching new Game of Thrones with my parents, due to all the sex.

Hopefully if I turn the volume up loud I won't hear them.

In light of Trump's increasing volume of golf: What's the difference between Hitler and Trump?

It only took Hitler one shot to get out of the bunker he ended up in after succumbing to Russia.

Someone is selling a 42" Smart Tv for just ยฃ70.

There's something wrong with the volume control, but for that price you can't turn it down.

The volume of a pizza with thickness a and radius z is

pi * z * z * a

Today I went to a book store and found: "the only book you'll ever need to buy".

Volume 2

What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device?

He adjusts the volume.

Last night I played a blank tape at full volume.

The mime next door went nuts.

My friend is selling a TV for ยฃ50

60inch, 4k flatscreen. The volume buttons broke, but at that price, you can't turn it down.

Gabriel's horn is a geometric figure which has infinite surface area but finite volume

This is in contrast to a vuvuzela which has a finite surface area but infinite volume

I tried to run an experiment on the effect of dehydration on human urine volume

But the p-value was too low.

A mathematician a physicist and an engineer...

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a cow and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the dimensions of the cow and evaluated a very complicated integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the cow inside and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked at the cow and said, let's suppose the cow is a sphere.

I saw a TV for sale for 1$

I saw that the TV was in very good condition.

"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller

"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied

"So everything else works?" I asked

He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume

"So you're gonna buy it?"

"A TV for $1? Can't turn it down"

I was talking to my physics teacher...

Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is?
Me: yeah
Teacher: cool, you know what den city is?
Me: no?
Teacher: oh, its mass over volume

Did you know that a pizza with the radius z and the height a...

has a volume of pizza?

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."

The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...

I saw an ad on Craigslist "Radio, $1, volume stuck on high."

I thought, "I can't turn that down...

I turned on the radio and forgot I had the volume maxed out.

Now my left and right ear hertz a lot.

I think my shampoo is making me fat...

...it says guaranteed to increase the Volume

A man comes across a T.V for sale for $1

He asks the man selling it why its so cheap, he replies "the volume is turned all the way up and you can't adjust it, its stuck that way"

"wow! you can't turn that down"

I asked a Flat Earther to tell me what the volume of the Earth was but he couldn't give me a good answer.

There was a significant rounding error.

Units.

A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.

What is the unit of volume?

Milliliters.

What is the unit of mass?

Kilograms.

What is the unit of distance?

Meters.

What is the unit of power?

Yes.

(I know, it works a bit better spoken)

wife: can you to give me a ring for our wedding anniversary

husband: sure , why not

wife: can you give it to me like a surprise when i'm at work, i want everyone to know.

husband: sure

wife: on Friday morning we have a huge meeting and everyone at work will be there. i think that would be a good time .

husband: sure. keep your phone in full volume

Irish Dancing Manual

Lost for centuries, volume 2 of the Irish Dancing Manual has finally been rediscovered.

It's titled How to Move The Arms

Perspective

The optimist says "The glass is half full."

The pessimist says "The glass is half empty."

The engineer says "The vessel contains twice the required space for the volume present."

A man walks into a library...

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for the Encyclopedia of Loud Noises.

The librarian responds: "Absolutely! Which volume would you like?"

The manual in my car says that I shouldn't turn the stereo volume to the maximum.

That's....sound advice.

My running coach told me to increase the volume of my runs

So I unplugged the headphones and played my music from the speakers instead.

A dude is having a yard sale and is selling his TV

Customer: "Sweet I do need a new TV. How much?"
Seller: "5 dollars"

C: "What? Why is it so cheap?"

S: "Well it's stuck on full volume. The remote doesn't work"

C: "And you're just gonna sell it for $5 because you can't make it quieter?

S: "Yep"

C: "Wow. Can't turn that down"

My son told me, The car manual says that I shouldn't turn the stereo up to full volume.

I said, That's.... sound advice.

How I lost my job as a hairdresser.

I had just about finished styling a very wealthy lady's hair. I put down the hair dryer, and placed a hand mirror behind her head. "OK, how's that?", I asked.

She sniffed, and said "more volume."

#"OK, HOW'S THAT!?"

A young man, walking down the street, passes a woman sitting next to a TV with a For Sale sign on it.

Him: Hi, how much for the TV?

Her: One dollar

Him: Only one? Wow that's a bargain!

Her: Yeah, it's cheap because the volume is stuck on maximum

Him: Ah, Ok. So the TV is one dollar because the volume is always right up?

Her: Yep. Do you want it?

Him: Well I guess I can't turn that down!

I wanted to improve my physical affection skills, so I went down to the library and took out a book called How to Hug ...

...You can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be volume six of the Oxford English Dictionary

Sin city we all know is Las Vegas, but do you know what Den city is?

Mass over volume.

Gabriel's Horn is a geometric figure formed by rotating f(x)=1/x about the x axis. It has finite volume, but infinite surface area.

This is the complete opposite of the Vuvuzela, which has a finite surface area, but infinite volume

R.I.P. dad

My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:

"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."

___________________

This guy was selling a TV for a dollar.

I walked up to him and said, Wow! You're selling that thing for just a dollar?! He replied, Yep. But why? The thing is, the volume is cranked all the way up, and there's no way to make it quieter. That's the only problem with the TV? Yep. And you're selling it for 1 dollar? That is correct. Boy, can't turn that down!

I bought a used universal remote at a flea market

The volume down button was broken but it only cost a nickel.... I couldn't turn it down.

Why do Rock Stars wear mascara?

200% more volume.

I saw a used Bose stereo system on sale for for 15$

I asked the guy why it was so cheap and he told me it was a great deal, but the volume is stuck on max.

I thought "well, I can't turn that down".

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume.

The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced.

The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.

I saw an AD for a 55" TV for $20

"Volume stuck on full"

How can I turn that down ?

Why is it impossible for a flat Earther calculate the volume of the Earth?

Because there is always a rounding error.

For Sale. 42 inch TV. Volume button doesn't work $20.

A deal you can't turn down

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the volume thickness jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working volume calculate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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