The Best 38 Volkswagen Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Volkswagen jokes. There are some volkswagen cars jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these volkswagen audi puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Volkswagen Jokes and Puns

To get around emission rules Volkswagen has a new prototype

The vehicle directs the exaust gas into the passanger compartment.

To be fair Israel was not the best test market.

Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles?

Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front.

Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11.

What's the leading cause of violence in America?

Volkswagen Beetles.

Volkswagen joke, What's the leading cause of violence in America?

Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle...

The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.

Went to the dog car dealership.

I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!

Should I include "hard working and honest" in my resume?

Applying for a software engineer's role at Volkswagen.

Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky...

The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!

Volkswagen joke, Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky...

The meeting with Kim Davis isn't the only thing on his U.S. trip that Pope Francis wanted to keep secret...

The engine in his Fiat was a Volkswagen diesel.

How do you fit 1000 jews in a Volkswagen?

2 in the front, the rest in the ashtray

As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears?

The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!

Honey, say something dirty...


You can explore volkswagen toyota reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean volkswagen chev dad jokes. There are also volkswagen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

Volkswagen should hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to deal with their emission scandal

He's got experience with a Total Recall

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle... became herby.

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

Volkswagen joke, What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car...

It's called the Volts Wagon.

I bought a new Volkswagen but my wife didn't like manual

Thus Auto.

Pregnant elephants

What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on slave pins and one on replacing firing pins.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."

Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

What do you call four blonds in a Volkswagen?


What do you get when you drive a german compact car through a hail storm?

A Volkswagen Golf ball.

Where do volkswagens go when they get old?

The old volks home.

What's the difference between a brutal military overthrow and a Volkswagen Beetle made out of mucus?

One's a vicious coup and the other is a viscous coupe.

What do you call a gang who drives around in Volkswagen Beetles ?


Elephants and cars

How many elephants fit in a Volkswagen?

4 elephants, 2 in the front and 2 in the back.

How can you fit 8 elephants in a BMW?

You sell the BMW and buy 2 Volkswagen.

I was going to buy a new Volkswagen but my Grandpa got angry at me because of what happened to him during WW2. Apparently, during WW2 my Grandpa

had a succession of highly unreliable German cars.

What cars do Italians drive?

Volkswagen Passata.

Since Volkswagen is discontinuing the beetle...

Maybe my dad will stop punching me all the time.

A guy took his 1973 Volkswagen Beetle to a blond mechanic and said

"My engine is missing." The mechanic raised the hood and said "Oh wow, you're right! But how the heck did you drive it here?"

What's an international gathering of Volkswagen vans called?

A combination

The Blue Whale's Testicles are the size of Volkswagen Beetles.

That's nuts.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen bug?

Two in the front, two in the back, & about 10 million in the ashtray.

How do you get Spiderman into a Volkswagen?

Use the ashtray.

(Dad Joke) I saw a bit of dung on a Volkswagen the other day....

I thought to myself , "Man...that's some Beatle"

What kind of car does Master Yoda drive?

A Volkswagen Jedi.

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.

The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.

The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.

The Russian then says: Well, we do something simmilar, we use Ladas for travelling inside the motherland, and tanks everywhere else.

In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…

American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.

*still working on this one

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the volkswagen inexpensive jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working volkswagen hyundai piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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