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Volkswagen Jokes

49 volkswagen jokes and hilarious volkswagen puns to laugh out loud. Read vehicle jokes about volkswagen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh out loud! From classic Volkswagen jokes to more modern takes, this article has it all! Learn the best Volkswagen jokes about the Volkswagen Beetle, Volkswagen Jetta, Benz, BMW, and Toyota. Don't miss this collection of Volkswagen jokes guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

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Funniest Volkswagen Short Jokes

Short volkswagen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The volkswagen humour may include short cars jokes also.

  1. Why did it take up until last year for Volkswagen to finally manufacture electric cars in the United States? Because it took them awhile to get the bugs worked out
  2. What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common? They both lie about their emissions.
  3. Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.
  4. Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front.
    Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11.
  5. Went to the dog car dealership. I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!
  6. Since Volkswagen is discontinuing the beetle... Maybe my dad will stop punching me all the time.
  7. I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle... ..it became herby.
  8. Real Porsches... Real Porsches are from the Porscheaux region of France.
    Otherwise they're just sparkling Volkswagens.
  9. What do you get when you drive a german compact car through a hail storm? A Volkswagen Golf ball.
  10. Elephants and cars How many elephants fit in a Volkswagen?
    4 elephants, 2 in the front and 2 in the back.
    How can you fit 8 elephants in a BMW?
    You sell the BMW and buy 2 Volkswagen.

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Volkswagen One Liners

Which volkswagen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with volkswagen? I can suggest the ones about volkswagen beetle and affordable.

  1. Where do volkswagens go when they get old? The old volks home.
  2. Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon.
  3. What kind of car does Master Yoda drive? A Volkswagen Jedi.
  4. What do you call a gang who drives around in Volkswagen Beetles ? Thugbugs
  5. What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together? A Mini Golf.
  6. What do you call four blonds in a Volkswagen? Farfromthinking
  7. How do you fit 1000 jews in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, the rest in the ashtray
  8. What's the leading cause of violence in America? Volkswagen Beetles.
  9. How do you get Spiderman into a Volkswagen? Use the ashtray.
  10. What's an international gathering of Volkswagen vans called? A combination
  11. What cars do Italians drive? Volkswagen Passata.
  12. My friend got a Volkswagen Beetle... He calls it McCartney.
  13. I bought a new Volkswagen but my wife didn't like manual Thus Auto.
  14. Honey, say something dirty... Volkswagen
  15. Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen? Emission Impossible

Volkswagen Beetle Jokes

Here is a list of funny volkswagen beetle jokes and even better volkswagen beetle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a brutal military overthrow and a Volkswagen Beetle made out of mucus? One's a vicious coup and the other is a viscous coupe.
  • A guy took his 1973 Volkswagen Beetle to a blond mechanic and said "My engine is missing." The mechanic raised the hood and said "Oh wow, you're right! But how the heck did you drive it here?"
  • How many jews can you fit in a Volkswagen beetle? 4 in the seats and 47 in the ashtray.
  • The Blue Whale's t**... are the size of Volkswagen Beetles. That's nuts.
Volkswagen joke, The Blue Whale's t**... are the size of Volkswagen Beetles.

Gather Around for Fun Volkswagen Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about volkswagen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ford jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make volkswagen pranks.

Pregnant elephants

What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
I'm taking a gunsmithing class and this was in the text book with no context. Just stuffed between a paragraph on s**... pins and one on replacing firing pins.

In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…

American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the e**... in 1980.
*still working on this one

The Vicar's Salary

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to
a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation.
No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and
proclaims:
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every
year, and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their
children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if
the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary
and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school
education for all of his children!'
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free s**....'
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you
to say that?'
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking
his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.

The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.
The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.
The Russian then says: Well, we do something simmilar, we use Ladas for travelling inside the motherland, and tanks everywhere else.

Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky...

The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit s**...!

I was going to buy a new Volkswagen but my Grandpa got angry at me because of what happened to him during WW2. Apparently, during WW2 my Grandpa

had a succession of highly unreliable German cars.

As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears?

The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!

To get around emission rules Volkswagen has a new prototype

The vehicle directs the exaust gas into the passanger compartment.
To be fair Israel was not the best test market.

(Dad Joke) I saw a bit of dung on a Volkswagen the other day....

I thought to myself , "Man...that's some Beatle"

Volkswagen joke, How do you get Spiderman into a Volkswagen?

jokes about volkswagen