Voldemort Jokes

Are you a Harry Potter fan? Are you looking for some Voldemort jokes? From silly jokes about his nose to puns about his name, check out this article for some of the best Voldemort jokes and quips about everyone's favorite dark lord. Get ready for a few laughs that even Draco Malfoy would approve of. Even Dumbledore might have to crack a smile at these.

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jokes about voldemort

Best Short Voldemort Jokes

These are our top voldemort puns. Have fun with a good voldemort joke in English with simple voldemort humour.

  1. Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
  2. ‪watching the US government deal with the Coronavirus is like watching the Ministry of Magic deal with Voldemort's return. change my mind.
  3. Why does Voldemort use Twitter and not Facebookm Because he has followers, not friends.
    Courtesy of my 10 year old son.
  4. Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war! That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts.
  5. Voldemort: Knock Knock James: Who's there?
    Voldemort: You Know
    James: You Know who?
    Voldemort: Exactly.
    James: Aw, Dang!
  6. Cancer is officially as bad as Voldemort. They both killed Snape.
  7. Did you hear that Voldemort went to the doctor's? \- Did you hear that Voldemort went to the doctor's?
    \- No, what did they tell him?
    \- That he's lacks\-nose\-intolerant.
  8. What do you call a barrier that Voldemort can't get through?
  9. What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts? "Dumb 'ol door!"
  10. Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort? Because of his hex appeal.
Voldemort joke, Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these voldemort jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of voldemort puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Voldemort One Liners

Which voldemort dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with voldemort?

  1. Voldemort:so I just have to lie? pinocchio: yep.
  2. Why does Voldemort use twitter but not Facebook? He only has followers, not friends.
  3. Why is Voldemort so good with computers? He's fluent in Python
  4. What do you call a bad riddle? Voldemort
  5. What did Voldemort say to Peter Pettigrew when they went bowling? *Kill the spare.*
  6. How does Voldemort seal his mail? With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)
  7. What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear? Horcrocs
  8. 30 years ago my uncle stole my nose, and he hasn't given it back. -Lord Voldemort
  9. what does Voldemort call his prostitutes Whorecruxes
  10. How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you? He leaves a dark mark
  11. Why does voldemort have flat face? He ran into wrong wall at train station
  12. A tasty dish made by Voldemort Avada - kebab- ra...
  13. How come Voldemort hates the sun? Because his sunglasses won't stay up
  14. What was Voldemort after he lost some of his tongue? A partial tongue
  15. Where did Voldemort write down all his feelings and thoughts? In his die-harry.

Voldemort Nose Jokes

Here is a list of funny voldemort nose jokes and even better voldemort nose puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What happened to Voldemort's face? Nobody nose.
  • Why is voldemort not a gossip? He keeps his nose out of other people's business
  • Why voldemort don't have glasses ? Nobody nose...

Voldemort Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny voldemort name jokes and even better voldemort name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Can someone please tell me Voldemorts last name My friends talk in riddles
  • Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
  • He who must not be named ''Oh you mean Voldemort?''
  • What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ? Voldetort.
Voldemort joke, What would Voldemort name his <a href="/tortoise-jokes.html" title="Tortoise jokes">pet tortoise</a>

Laughter Voldemort Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about voldemort to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make voldemort prank.

An old Harry Potter joke

Voldemort goes and knocks on Snape's door.
Who is it?
Voldemort: THE DARK LORD!!
Snape: Sauron?
Voldemort: No no, the other one
Snape: Vader?
Voldemort, irritated, thunders: THE ONE YOU FEAR THE MOST!!
Snape, confused: Hermione??

What's Voldemort's favourite kind of p**...?

A w**...-crux.

A little Harry Potter humour...

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

I don't care about Euro2016

I don't care about Euro2016, because last time I cared about big sport event Voldemort returned and Cedric Diggory died

The worst pick up line I ever thought of...

'If I told you Voldemort hid a Horcrux in your sphincter would you let me destroy it? ;)'
Still single for now...

My friend is addicted to h**....

I call him Voldemort because he's got a w**...-crux.

My wife said I'm a great lover like Voldemort...

Terrible, yes...
but great.

Why is Lord Voldemort a slytherin

Because he is a snake

Voldemort joke, Why is Lord Voldemort a slytherin

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these voldemort jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.