volcano Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious volcano puns

The internet is so full of people making up fake stories for fake internet points that no one is giving any credit to the real heroes anymore...

Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano

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What did 1 volcano say to another volcano?

That ash.

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What did one volcano say to the other volcano?

I lava you

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Why are volcanoes mischievous?

Because they erupt to no good.

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What do you call it when the rim of a volcano gets all dirty and smelly?

Smagma.

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The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now...

But everything around it is Chile.

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My girl says I'm like a volcano in bed...

Dormant

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He wasn't throwing up.

One day a guy walks into a bar he then asks the bartender "I'll take one of your strongest drinks."
So the bartender gets him a drink called Volcano and warns the guy that he is only allowed one of these drinks a night because they are so strong.
The guy finishes his drink and doesn't feel a thing so he asks the bartender for another Volcano, the bartender says no at first but the guy keeps bugging him so he gives in.
After he finishes the second drink and still isn't feeling anything he asks the bartender for one more. Reluctantly the bartender agrees to give him one more but he has to go home after.
So the guy finishes his third Volcano like it's nothing and walks out feeling like a bad ass.
The next day comes around and the guy goes back to the same bar. When he enters the bartender from the previous night is working and announces to everybody that this is the guy that took three Volcano drinks like a boss and didn't feel a thing. Everybody starts clapping for him and asking how he did it.
He then tells everybody not to be to happy for him he went home and blew chunks all night. Everybody says of course you're going to blow chunks all night after three of those.
And he goes no you don't understand my dogs name is Chunks.

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Where do volcanoes go to relieve themselves?

The lavatory, of course!

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What did the Italian volcano say to his girlfriend?

I lava you!

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What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano?

Baklava.

(It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)

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What is it a volcano has which gives him trouble erupting?

Eruptile dysfunction.

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What does baby volcano say to his volcano mom?

Magma.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker.

(Happy Geek Pride Day!)

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"How much longer are we going to have endure this erupting volcano full of hot air and gas" asked the Hawaiian

"I don't know, but turn off Twitter for a short term solution"

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What kind of code does a volcano use to make its website?

HTMelt

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How do you make baklava?

Take a chicken and drop it in a volcano.

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Did you hear about the bird that lost all of its feathers in a volcano?

It was moltin'.

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Why was the volcano so pleasant to be around?

Because he was so magmanimous.

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What did the affectionate volcano tell the Hawaiian homeowner?

"I lava you."

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What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common?

They're both ash-holes.

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What do you call a mean person who fell in a pit created by a volcano?

Ashhole.

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What comes out of a reasonable volcano?

Pragma.

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What do you get when you throw a chicken in a volcano?

Baklava

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My girlfriend said she wanted to experiment more in the bedroom...

I don't know why she got so mad when I put my baking soda and vinegar volcano next to the nightstand.

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There's a cool sport called Volcano Diving.....

You'll only do it once.

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Volcanoes erupt to no good

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Blonde, brunette, and a redhead. (I told this joke outloud to the whole class when I was in 2nd grade and got sent to the office)

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops and end up getting cornered. The brunette points behind the cops and screams "tornado!" The cops all turn around and she runs away. The redhead points the same direction and screams "volcano eruption!" Once again, the cops turn around and the redhead runs away. Only the blonde is left and she screams "fire!" So the cops shoot her and she dies.

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What did the volcano say after 3 years in Bangkok?

Me lava you long time.

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This year's Comic-Con will be hosted in Hawaii

in the hopes that sacrificing a few virgins will appease the angry volcano god.

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My most prized possession is a genuine traditional coffee pot hand crafted in an artisanal workshop on the slopes of a Mexican volcano.

It's a proper Popocatepetl kettle.

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I had a really hot dream last night...

I was in the middle of the desert, high noon, next to an erupting volcano, wearing a parka.

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Sex with me is like a volcano...

you know it's going to burn.

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What did the Romantic Hurricane say to the sheep covered volcano?

Eye Lava Ewe

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What's the difference between a woman and a volcano?

One is ash and gas, the other gash and ass...

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What are the most funny Volcano jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Volcano? Well, here are the best Volcano dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Volcano pick up lines to share with friends.

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