Voicemail Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

What do girls with a daddy kink call their real dad?

Nothing, it goes straight to voicemail.

My girlfriend's cellphone service sucks!

Eight days ago when she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's
gone straight to voicemail ever since.

Why will all of the referees check their voicemail immediately after the Super Bowl?

So they can hear someone say "no missed calls"

My mum was rushed to hospital so I left a voicemail for my dad. "Dad, can you call me urgently?"

I got a phone call from him, "Hi Urgently"

Why do phones have Voicemail?

Because voicefemail would take days to listen to...

A terrible situation.

A young couple wakes up for work and begin their normal routine. They each shower, get dressed, tell each other they love them, and give them a kiss goodbye before taking off.

The husband gets to work and has a voicemail from the hospital. It's a doctor, "Sir, there's been an accident, you need to come to the hospital now." The man freaks out and rushes to the hospital.

When he arrives, the doctor comes out of the operating room.

"Doc, please! What's going on?"

"I'm so sorry, your wife was involved in a very serious accident...I'm so sorry, she's paralyzed from the neck down. You're going to have quit your job, bathe her, feed her, and take care of her in every aspect of life."

The man starts to break down.

"No! No! How can this be!"

"I'm so sorry sir."

"We just got into a good spot! How can I do this on my own? I can't quit my job, how could I afford all this!" The man is crying profusely.

Just then the doctor says, "Just kiddin' man she's dead!"

Sometimes I think I've missed my calling.

Luckly for me I have voicemail.

Your assistant says you have a voicemail from a music producer

The DJ Khaled

What are the funniest voicemail jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Voicemail? Well, here are the best Voicemail puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Voicemail pick up lines to share with friends.


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