Vital Jokes

29 vital jokes and hilarious vital puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vital that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Vital Short Jokes

Short vital jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vital humour may include short essential jokes also.

  1. Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
    Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
  2. Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman... ... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.
  3. Statistics are like bikinis.... What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
  4. As a vet, attention to detail is vital. However, attention to de rest of de animal is important too.
  5. I heard all the Mexicans in the U.S. are going on strike for one day to show how vital they are to the economy They're calling it Señor Skip Day
  6. What's the similarity between the police and a bikini? What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
  7. Two detectives are at a crime scene. They locate a briefcase that is vital evidence to the investigation.
    One of the detectives says to the other "It's an open-and-shut case".
  8. My doctor told me I have the vitals of someone half my age. I have no idea how he found out, but now I'll have to kill him too.
  9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."
  10. Old people, fall asleep in the recovery position It will save the paramedics vital minutes.

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Vital One Liners

Which vital one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vital? I can suggest the ones about important and valuable.

  1. A mp3 hits your ears a mp4 hits your eyes An mp5 hits your vital organs.
  2. How do you know an angle is dead? When it shows no vital sines
  3. The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.
  4. Despite how vital drinking water is.... I always turn my nose up at it.
  5. Vital o**... donors never laugh at my jokes. It's as if they have no heart.
  6. How does a baby survive being delivered? Isn't it a vital o**...?
  7. i asked a butcher to deliver my baby Now it's missing a vital o**....

Vital joke, i asked a butcher to deliver my baby

Hilarious Vital Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about vital you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fundamental jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vital pranks.

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital o**... to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

A woman drives a car

A blonde woman drives a car and hits a cop. She stops and checks if he's still alive, no vital signs. Panicked, she calls the emergency service.

W: *Hello, is this 911?*

D: *Yes, this is 911, what's your emergency?*

W: *You're now 910.*

Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.
They will have the element of supplies.

In the Cars movie series, they have a place called Radiator Springs.

Now, radiators are vital components in cars, so I find it's a very weird name decision for a city.
Its like calling a human city "Liver pool".

My fave pickup line as a gay man...

Hey, are you a vital o**...? Because I don't think I can live without you inside of me.

A woman drags her husband to the doctor,

He's been complaining for weeks about a sore stomach. The doc gives the man a full workover and deduces he is missing a vital enzyme mainly found in dog food. Reluctantly they agree to put him on the pet food diet to save his life.
A week later the doc sees her walking the street and asks how he's doing. "He's dead" She replies. The doc is understandably upset "How, dog food is not toxic?" She wipes a tear and says "He was hit by a car in the middle of the road l**... his g**..."

Proof-reading is vital - for example, you may accidentally type "I helped my uncle j**... a horse."

When in reality, all you did was sit and watch.

So a dad and his son go into a bar...

His son is literally only a head (doesn't need vital organs to live in this joke)
Sons birthday so the dad buys him a shot
Son takes shot and boom he becomes a full bodied functional man
Dad is so happy he says shots all around
The son takes another shot and dies
Dad is now crying hysterically
Bartender says
Kid should've stopped while he was ahead.

Why is a miniskirt like a political campaign?

What they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is vital - and they both usually have a c**t in their center.

What Vitalik said to Vlad afther Edcon?

Proof of Sssssssnake

Vital joke, What Vitalik said to Vlad afther Edcon?