Visiting London Jokes
12 visiting london jokes and hilarious visiting london puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about visiting london that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Visiting London Short Jokes
Short visiting london jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The visiting london humour may include short visiting family jokes also.
- I met my girlfriend whilst visiting the London Zoo. Straight away I knew she was a keeper.
- My friend recently visited London. He said everyone was very polite, except in Greenwich. Whenever he asked someone for the time they got all mean about it.
- I was chatting with a fat girl visiting from London. She said, "How would you Americans describe me?" I tried to be nice so I said, "Perhaps just as a broad broad abroad."
- I went to go see Hyde Park when I was visiting London They didn't really do a great job, it was just sitting out in the open
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Visiting London One Liners
Which visiting london one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with visiting london? I can suggest the ones about british museum and only in britain.
- I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday. It was just another Communist plot.
Visiting London Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about visiting london you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buckingham palace jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make visiting london pranks.
The Queen takes the visiting Pope for a ride in a horse carriage through London.
Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly.
Oh my goodness, I am so terribly sorry! apologizes the embarrassed Queen.
Oh don't worry about it" the Pope replied "If you hadn't said anything, I'd have just thought it was one of the horses!"
The Queen takes the visiting pope for a ride in a carriage through London.
Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly. I am terribly sorry, apologizes the embarrassed Queen.
The pope replies, Oh don't worry, if you hadn't said anything, I'd just think it was the horse!
Two Germans in London
Two Germans wanted to visit London just a few months after the second world war. Because they are afraid that people will judge them for being German they decide to pretend like they are Englishmen.
After a long day of site-seeing they walk into a pub to have a drink.
They walk up to the bar and ask the barkeeper in perfect English:
"Could we have two sherries please?"
The bar keeper responds:"Dry?"
"NEIN ZWEI!!!"
While visiting London an American.....
While visiting London an American entered a Vietnamese soup restaurant and proceeded directly to the counter to place an order. A line of customers off to the side began groaning and mumbling. A man at the front pointed to the back of the line and angrily said "Pho Queue!"
An Arab sheikh in a hotel...
An Arab sheikh was once visiting London. He was staying at a grand hotel. He was by himself and didn't know English very well.
Just as he jumped on the bed, a mouse scurried out from under. He was confused at first, then terrified. He used the phone on the side stand to call room service. The bellboy took the call and asked what he needed. The sheikh said, "Alfaar! Alfaar!" Which meant mouse in Arabic. The bellboy couldn't understand and asked if he could repeat that in English.
The Arab thought for a bit and asked, "you know Tom and Jeri?". The bellboy said, "yes, I know Tom and j**...." The Arab said, "come come, habibi Jeri is here."
An Englishman is visiting Ireland for the first time...
His first stop is Cork where he decides he wants to kiss the famous Blarney Stone. Unfortunately for him he hasn't a clue where the stone is, so he walks into a pub to ask for directions.
He walks into the pub and yells, "Alright Paddies, I'm visiting from London and I'm looking for someone to take me to kiss this famous Blarney's Stone I've heard so much about."
There's a small stir in the bar as every Irishman scowls at him, until one man stands up. The huge, red-bearded man walks over to the Englishman, towering over him by a full foot.
He says, "Aye, I'll take ye to the Blarney Stone, but there's something you missed."
"And what might that be?" the Englishman replies.
"Ye see, there's two Blarney stones." the Irishman tells him.
The Englishman, slightly peeved at this insight, sighs to him, "Well I don't care, I just want to kiss one."
"Well alright," the Irishman replies as he drops his pants, "I'm Blarney. Kiss one."