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Visite Jokes

107 visite jokes and hilarious visite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about visite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Visite Short Jokes

Short visite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The visite humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system yet? ... They looked at the reviews...
    Only 1 star.
  2. Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".

    "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".

    "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
  3. I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel
  4. When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record… Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?
  5. Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
    (Cr
  6. King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did. Because the Queen could go any distance but the king can only move one space at a time.
  7. Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".
    "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".
    "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
  8. A German was going to a trip in France... He reached passport control and the officer asked:
    "Name?"
    "Hans Kleiner"
    "Age?"
    "31"
    "Occupation?"
    "No no, just visiting"
  9. A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
    tourist: Russian.
    Border guard: Occupation?
    Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.
  10. Putin at the airport Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk.

    Customs officer: Occupation?
    Putin: No, just visiting.

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Visite One Liners

Which visite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with visite? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. I once went to visit Japan and I haven't seen a single ninja. Impressive.
  2. Why don't alien visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
  3. "Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma" "Shut up, and keep digging"
  4. Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet? They checked the reviews.. only 1 star
  5. There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland I mean, the flag itself is a big plus.
  6. Why don't aliens visit Earth Bc we have 1 star rating...
  7. "It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!" And he never visited Bangkok ever again.
  8. I want to visit north Korea one day... before everything goes south.
  9. Justin Timberlake visits the ukraine. Where does he visit first? Crimea River
  10. Q: How's your visit in North Korea? A: Can't complain ...
  11. Have you ever visited conjunctivitis.com? It's a site for sore eyes
  12. Why did the Dalai Lama visit Las vegas? Tibet
  13. I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.
  14. Why did the winter solstice visit the gym? It wanted to stay in "peak" condition.
  15. Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about visite can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of visite puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Visite Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about visite you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make visite prank.

I visited america recently and got very into the culture

A guy walked past me and said 'Have a nice day!' and I did'nt, so I shot him.

I visited a Catholic engineering school yesterday

It was called Our Lady of Perpetual Motion

I visited a small village where they had a cat for a king and a dog for a queen...

...they were reigning cats and dogs.

I visited a real graveyard this Halloween

I logged back into Google Plus.

I visited a proctologist the other day...

It was a real bummer.

I visited my boyfriend in prison the other day for a conjugal visit.

It was a guilty pleasure.

I visited the ghetto once...

Didn't see much, i was in the luggage of a car blindfolded.

Have you ever visited the area between Thailand and Vietnam?

Don't bother. It's pretty Laos-y.

I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have s**... with a p**.... It was an overall positive experience.

Sadly, it was an h**... positive experience.

I visited Detroit recently.

I love the smell of the ol' factories.

I visited the new aviary everyone's talking about

but I think it's for the birds.

I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop m**.... I asked him why, because surely it's not dangerous.

He said it was distracting him.

I visited a Mac store the other day....

I left happy.
get it? :D

I visited the paternity ward at the hosipital the other day.

It was just a room full of dads delivering lame jokes.

I visited America recently...

..and got really into the local culture, I was walking along one morning and guy said 'Have a nice day!' and I didn't, so I sued him. --Milton Jones

I visited a Blonde Doctor recently she diagnosed me with Insomnia.

Don't worry she said it wasn't anything to lose sleep over.

I visited the catacombs and was surprised when it was damp enough for moss to grow

I thought it would be *bone dry*

I just visited a Parisian restaurant for some escargot

I came out with a gut full of slugs.

I visited a dyslexic Christian clairvoyant today...

She read my Psalm

Have you ever visited the nation of Crimea?

The rivers must be popular because I've hear people talking about Crimea River all the time!

I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday.

It was just another Communist plot.

I visited a shopping complex owned by a fat psychic.

It was a large medium's mall.

I visited my friend in his flat

He told me to make myself at home. So I kicked him out. I hate having visitors

I visited Canada and got an STD

Hepatitis A.

I visited an old, abandoned fairground yesterday...

My whole family advised me not to.
"Don't go near the rollercoaster", said my mum.
"Why?" I asked.
"Remember... the story of how it is haunted by Runaway Tom... a ghost that is said to tie his victims to the track and have the rollercoaster run over them."
"Don't go near the pirate ship," said my sister.
"Why?"
"Because it is haunted by Cut t**... Greybeard... a ghost who will hang you and slice you..."
"And don't go into the hall of mirrors," warned my dad.
"Why, who is in there?" I asked.
"No one, you're just ugly..."

I visited my new girlfriend's parents for the first time.

"I hope we can find lots of things we have in common," her father told me.
"I know we already have one thing in common."
"What's that?" He asked.
"Your daughter calls us both Daddy."

I visited Stockholm

At first the place depressed me and I wanted to leave. Now, I love the place so much and want to stay forever.

I visited the wife's grave early today...

A man walked by and said "Morning!"
I replied, "No, just walking the dog."

Visited my grandma for mother's day...

My uncle Jack walked in while I was there and I greeted him "Hi Jack!" after which grandma said "Whatever you do, don't say that on a plane!"

I visited a seafood restaurant that just opened up.

I love that new gar smell.

I visited a polish web site

and now my cursor is gone.

Visited my dead friends grave for the last time today

Apparently having s**... with your old friend with benefits is grounds for banishment

I visited my eye doctor the other day for an eye test.

Found out I was color blind, it was completely out of the purple. Devastated.

I once visited a gay s**... club in Soho, where the main attraction was a drag queen/ stripper they called Mrs.Doubtfire...

She was hung like Robin Williams.

I visited a coffee shop where the password was "wedonthavewifi".

It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.

What's a robot's most visited website?

*Brass*ers

I just visited The Alamo.

It was a fine trip, but forgettable.

I was visited by The Ghost of Christmas Past

Got my VISA bill.

I visited the Pentagon yesterday.

I felt like I was in the best shape of my life.

Visited my doctor today

He said I was a paranoid schizophrenic..
Well.. he didn't actually say it.. but WE KNEW he was thinking it.

I visited the place where I used to hide and bite my fingernails.

##
I enjoyed the gnawstalgia.

Visited my baker today, I did..

"May the froth be with you", I wished..

I've just visited Canada's national web page, and it was down for maintenance.

It was a sorry sight.

I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor the other day.

She ended up being friendly. However, when appeared, at first I was afraid - I was petrified.

I visited ford's theater on vacation

Is it wrong that I got a Lincoln shot glass from the gift shop?

I've visited a French city before.

It was nice.

Since I have visited Chernobyl a I can count to 10

On one hand.

I visited the zoo in another town...

there was only one animal.
It was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.

Visited the animal disease center the other day...

Have to say they have the worst gatoraids I've ever tasted

Just visited the animal disease center...

Gotta say they have the weirdest tasting gatoraids in their fridge.

I visited a doctor about my low l**..., and he said don't worry I will help you

According to my neighbor, the doctor came to my place and mowed my lawn when I was at work, What a nice guy.

I just visited the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe, and I loved her house.

It's an architectural feat.

I visited my mom today and she asked if I had a girlfriend

I told her it's Palmela Handerson

I visited a legume museum with a real life peanut gallery

Apparently they're still annoyed with Gregor Mendel not tucking in his shirts.

I just visited France for the first time...

Man, those tolls have been taking a toll on my wallet.

I visited my mate's grave today.

He was right... I should have let him drive.

I visited a nudist beach and I must say I felt very uncomfortable.

Those deck chairs were awful.

I visited my grandmother the other day. That place, I tell you. p**... stains, dirty clothes, used cigarettes on the floor...

It can't be easy for her living with students.

Visited the Doctor today

I told him every time I turn on the TV I see Mary Poppins, he reckons I have a bad case of the um d**... um d**... um d**... eye!

I visited an ancestry website and was shocked to learn I'm related to my girlfriend's ex-husband.

It said we are Eskimo brothers.

I just visited a posh s**... club in Northern Canada.

They call it Brrrlesque.

I visited the UK recently and saw a hotel listing for 2000 pounds.

That's a ton of money

I visited a doctor and he told me I was paranoid.

In fact, he didn't tell me, but he surely had to think I was.

I visited my sister in the Yukon and the squirrels were really aggressive.

They were territorial

I visited my hometown to meet my favorite chef.

Unfortunately, he pasta away. I donated my entire millennial life savings of $13.42 to his Italian restaurant. Sometimes, one cannoli do so much. Just live and let Olive.

I visited the Middle East last year...

And I had to spend a whole school year there. It was weird because their schools are unable to have drivers education and s**... education on the same day.
Too hard for the camels.

I visited the Linville Falls yesterday.

It was gorgeous.

I visited a haunted house today, and my friends fled in t**....

I've been to this place for the last 271 years and haven't seen a single ghost.
Absolute cowards.

I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt...

They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

I visited the doctor today and he said my sugar was too high

So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf

I visited my wife's grave today

Bless her heart she still thinks I'm digging a pond.

I visited a flower garden

Last week I visited a flower garden in my city. There is a lot of exotic and rare plants. The rarest of the plants are all in one part, behind locked gate. You can go there only with a guide or a presenter. Unfortunately, when I came, there was no guide available. I peeked in and saw a gardener tending to the plants. I asked him if he could let me in and show me around. He said, he cannot do that, only a presenter can do that. I really wanted to see those plant so I asked him why it cannot be him. He said "Well, I am a grower, not a shower.''

I visited the National Air and Space Museum.

I believe the title is misleading because it's actually full of stuff.

I visited a cannibal restaurant during my time in the South Pacific.

On the menu I saw there was m**... soup for $5. Below it was politician soup for $1000.
So I asked the waiter, "why's the politician soup so expensive?"
And he said to me "you ever tried to clean one of the b**...?"

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man cooking sliced potatoes in oil... I asked him

I asked him Are you the friar?
He replied No, I'm the chip monk...

I visited my friend at his new house.

He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I visited an art gallery.

"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."

He slowly stepped away from the u**... and left.

I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor last night.

At first I was afraid. I was petrified.

I visited my lesbian neighbor today.

I was amazed how clean the carpets were in her house.

Once, when I visited America I saw a Crab walking along the Pavement


Sorry I meant to say Sidewalk
He was Sidewalking along the pavement

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these visite jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.