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Vision Jokes

172 vision jokes and hilarious vision puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vision that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Can't see the future? Read these jokes about vision! Get a laugh out of different types of vision, from the vision board to the vision test, myopic to double vision, and even tunnel vision. Quickly gain insight into the importance of sight and having a vision for the future.

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Funniest Vision Short Jokes

Short vision jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vision humour may include short optic jokes also.

  1. The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision I can just see it now.
  2. What's the difference between Daredevil and Scarlet Witch? One knows how to cope without Vision.
  3. In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision... I can't wait to see them all.
  4. What do Scarlet Witch and Daredevil both have in common? They both wear red and lost their Vision.
  5. Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… 'Constant super-vision.'
  6. I hate when people ask me what I'm going to be doing in 3 years Like come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision!
  7. The interviewer asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
    Use it while you can, people!
  8. I hate it when people ask me what the beginning of the pandemic was like. I don't have 2020 vision.
  9. I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in 4 years... I don't have 2020 vision.
  10. I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision I only had regular vision

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Vision One Liners

Which vision one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vision? I can suggest the ones about visual and view.

  1. I hate when people ask how I see myself in 3 years I don't have 2020 vision
  2. What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common? They both lost their vision
  3. I can see six years into the future. I must have 2020 vision.
  4. 5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now... That's a perfect vision joke.
  5. "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
  6. I can see 6 years into the future. Thanks to my 2020 vision.
  7. What do Daredevil and Scarlet Witch have in common? They both don't have vision.
  8. What happens to your eyesight when you have kids? You get adult super vision
  9. Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War? He doesn't work well with Vision
  10. I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years. I don't have 2020 vision.
  11. Me : Shaking a magic 8 ball.. "Will my vision ever get better??"
    Coconut :
  12. I can see 3 years into the future I guess you can say I have 2020 vision.
  13. My vision is like 2020 It's terrible
  14. Why doesn't Batman have super vision? Because his parents died
  15. My eye doctor told me he could fix my vision with witchcraft. At least he's opti-mystic.

2020 Vision Jokes

Here is a list of funny 2020 vision jokes and even better 2020 vision puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • At the job interview... Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years?
    Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision
  • I hate when people ask me what I'm doing in the next three years. Do I look like I have 2020 vision.
  • People always say "why weren't we able to predict a disaster as big as the coronavirus?" But not everyone has 2020 vision.
  • I went to the optician today because I keep seeing the world fall apart. He said I have 2020 vision.
  • If I could see 5 years into the future... would I still have 2020 vision?
  • A friend recently asked me where I think I'll be in 4 years. But how am I supposed to know? I don't have 2020 vision.
  • I can see what's going to happen next year... ... because I have 20/20 vision
  • I thought 2020 would have a lot of jokes about vision in hindsight with everything going on that was the last of their priorities
  • What did the Australian optometrist say to the client with 20/20 vision? Good eye, mate.
  • I'm so sick of employers asking me what I'm doing in the next four years It's not like I have 2020 vision

Bad Vision Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad vision jokes and even better bad vision puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are blind people bad at math? Because they lack da-vision.
  • A man with bad vision fell into a well... He couldn't see that well.
  • my sight was getting bad so I went to get glasses ... I could not afford a pair so I bought a monocle instead -
    at least now I have 1920 vision.
  • Why can't people with bad vision not program? Because they can't C#
  • My optometrist told me I have bad vision I don't see the problem
  • Don't you feel bad that a year from now... Blind people won't be able to experience 2020 vision?
  • Why are blind people bad fortune tellers? Because they don't have visions.
  • Do you know the best part about having only one eye and bad vision? LASIK is half off.
Vision joke, Do you know the best part about having only one eye and bad vision?

Vision Test Jokes

Here is a list of funny vision test jokes and even better vision test puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An Asian man walks into an optometrist's office AFter testing the mans vision the doctor says to him
    "Sir i belive you have a cataract"
    "Nonsense" the man says "I drive a Rincoln"
  • At my optometrist I was shown pictures of printers, external hard drives, monitors, and the like. They said they were testing my peripheral vision.
  • I recently turned 18 and got an eye test Kind of bummed I didn't get adult super vision
  • I've got an eye test next year. I think I've got 2020 vision.
  • My brother wears non-prescription glasses whenever he takes a math test He says it helps with the vision.

Double Vision Jokes

Here is a list of funny double vision jokes and even better double vision puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Carrots may improve your vision, But alcohol doubles it.
  • Carrots may be good.... Carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision.
  • [Repost] carrots may be good for your eyes.... But whiskey will double your vision.
  • What's the favourite letter of someone who suffers from Double Vision? W.
  • Why does Lou Gramm wear glasses? He has *Double Vision*.
  • What do you get when you see Bill Cosby in double-vision? r**....
Vision joke, What do you get when you see Bill Cosby in double-vision?

Amusing Vision Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about vision you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eyesight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vision pranks.

Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January

Can't wait to have 2020 vision.

Drunk...

A drunk lurches out of a pub at lunchtime.
After getting his alcohol-induced double vision together, he notices a car parked by the kerb with its bonnet up and a man leaning against the car with his arms folded and looking very grumpy.
He staggers over and manages to slur, "What's the matter, mate?"
The grumpy guy scowls at the drunk and says, "Argh - piston broke!"
"Yeah - so am I!" replies the drunk and lurches off...

I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic.

His work is Mind BLowing

The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest

The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest to see who can find a white rabbit in the forest
The CIA comes in first place, finding the rabbit in fourteen hours. They used contacts, thermal vision, and satellites.
MI5 comes in second place, finding the rabbit in 24 hours using much of the same tactics
The KGB comes in last place. In one hour, they produced a bear, near beaten to death, who said "OK, OK, I admit it, I am a rabbit."

A woman was looking in the mirror...

And she says to her husband "I look fat. Give me a compliment." The husband replies " Your vision is perfect."

Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016

Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision

How do you know carrots improve your vision?

Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses

Job inteviewer asked me where do I see myself in 5 years

I said, "Sorry but I don't have 2020 vision."

I had a job interview today, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years.

Luckily, I have 2020 vision.

My wife looked in the mirror today...

After taking a good look at herself she turned to me and said, "I look fat. Can you please give me a compliment?"
So I said, "Absolutely, you have perfect vision."

When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years...

I dunno...I don't have 2020 vision.

The future

Someone asked me the other day if I could see where I would be in 5 years.
Come on man, I wear glasses.
I don't have 2020 vision.

Person: What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

A husband asks his wife...

Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...

Why would people always stand still to hide from martin luther king jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

Only 4 days left to use this joke

I hate it when people ask me where I see myself in 5 years time. I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

This is the last time you will ever hear this joke and have it make sense

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Yourself: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Happy new year everyone. I'm sorry to all those who are in the future right now who can't enjoy this joke.

When Scarlett Witch was at the Avengers HQ...

you could say she needed...adult super Vision.

A woman is looking in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees.

She says to her husband "I think my body is going downhill. Tell me something good to make me feel better."
He replies: "You still have perfect vision."

What do you call a horse that has very good vision underwater?

A seehorse.

I found the one

When I saw her my knees got weak and my vision got blurry. That's when I realized I drunk the wrong glass.

A Polish guy went to check his vision...

**Doctor asked** - *can you read any of those letters? read it for* me.
The eye test chart: C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z
**Polish guy** - *Oh god, I know that guy!!*

People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election.

That's because I've got 2020 vision.

As a citizen from Baltic states

Hello Russia, my old friend
You've come to talk to me again
New SovietRussia vision softly creeping
You've spread your seeds while we were sleeping
And the vision that was planted in your brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

Eyesight

My new optician is a legend. This new set of glasses he gave me allows me to see a few years into the future.
Finally, I have 2020 vision.

Don't ask me where I see myself in 3 years time

I don't have 2020 vision

I can see 3 years into the future

It's called 2020 vision

The weather forecaster this morning said that vision might be impaired by fog.

I agree with him, but that's a weird way to spell "Whiskey".

I just spent £500 on a fortune teller, and all she told me was that she had a vision of me m**....

I think she saw me coming.

I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.

Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.

If the Vision movie comes out in 2020...

The Marvel marketing group will have a field day

Please stop asking me what I will be doing in 3 years,

It's not like I have 2020 vision.

Someone asked me today where I see myself in 3 years

I removed my glasses and said i don't know, unfortunately I don't have 2020 vision.

Women are discussing their s**... life.

- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it's going to be when it's ready.

A Welsh guy was getting his driver's license.

He had to take a vision test, so they showed him a line of letters that said: B W N S T R Y D D W L L
They asked, "Can you read the letters?" The man replied, "Are you kidding? I'm *from* that town!"

I can see two years into the future.

I suppose you could call it '2020' vision.

My friend Ray just passed away :(

He was on the donar list. Apparently they used his eyes to give some poor blind sod his eye sight back.
Its a miracle really, now he's got ex Ray vision

What is it called when you get shot in the eye and lose your vision?

Glockoma.

(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.

Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.

I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!

He's my super visor

I'll admit the Avengers had a plan

But in the end, they lacked vision.

What's similar between Scarlet Witch and Daredevil? [spoilers]

The both lost their vision

Why did Superboy never need a babysitter?

He always had super vision.

I just had a really good premonition about 2020

It was a perfect vision.

A man who had recently lost his vision was charged with slander...

They said he was making blind accusations.

Superman got a divorce...

He can only see his kids with super vision now.

What's it like to be drunk?

A boy was riding home from school with his dad. He had just started learning about alcohol and drinking in his health class.
"Dad, when you're drinking how do you know you're drunk?"
"Well son, when you're drunk your speech is slurred and your vision gets worse and worse. A drunk person would see 4 cars in front of us and not 2."
"But Dad, there's only 1 car in front of us!"

Why did all the Avengers have to get glasses?

Because they had poor Vision

Patient: I seem to be seeing cream cakes in the corner of my eye

Doctor: that's just your profiterole vision

I don't get people who try to predict the next US presidential election

I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision?

I can't stand it when people ask me where I see myself in a year or now.

It's not like I have 2020 vision.

I'm tired of people asking me where I see myself in a year

I don't have 2020 vision

Vision joke, I'm tired of people asking me where I see myself in a year

jokes about vision