Visa Jokes

Funniest Visa Short Jokes

Short visa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The visa humour may include short passport jokes also.

1. I wanted an australian Visa. They asked if I had a criminal record. Didn't know you still need it.
2. It only takes 3 inches to please a woman. And it doesn't matter if it's mastercard, visa or American express.
3. Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard? Because his Visa didn't work.
4. Interview for Australian visa for first time mostly be like: A : Do you have criminal record?
   M: No, I didn't knew it's still required?
5. I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says "no no I only have debit card" (true story)
6. I wanted an Australian Visa. They asked if I had a criminal record? Two little Boys is that good enough?
7. 3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect...
8. At the Airport Customs: Where is your passport
   Me: *hands credit card*
   Customs: You can't bribe me
   Me: It's my visa
9. A man pickpockets a random person and steals her credit card as the man walks off with the card, he says to himself 'hasta la visa'.
10. All a woman wants for Valentine's Day is a card... Visa or Mastercard, it really does not matter.

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Visa One Liners

Which visa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with visa? I can suggest the ones about vice and travel.

1. Why does Djokovic pay with American Express Because he has no visa
2. It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. Doesn't matter if it's Visa or Mastercard.
3. My visa to visit Afraica got approved. Now I Congo
4. Why was the Russian unable to enter Ukraine? Because he didn't have Visa.
5. Did you hear about the new LSU Visa card coming out? You get Les Miles and zero points
6. I was visited by The Ghost of Christmas Past Got my VISA bill.
7. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
8. Someone stole my Visa card. Now it's everywhere I want to be.
9. What will you soon need to have a Nandos in the UK? Portuguese visa.
10. Which credit card does jar-jar binks use? Visa!
11. Because of Brexit.... James Bond is going to need a Visa for his Missions now.
12. Not an Ostragoth Pun What do you call a Goth who has a great credit score?
    A Visa-Goth!
13. Gay people are a lot like a Visa... They need to be accepted everywhere.

Visa Card Jokes

Here is a list of funny visa card jokes and even better visa card puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My VISA card was stolen two months ago, but I don't want to report it. The guy who took it is using it less than my wife.
• I lost my V-Card to a cute chick the other night Had to call my bank today and cancel my visa
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Visa Mastercard Jokes

Here is a list of funny visa mastercard jokes and even better visa mastercard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Now that Britain has left the EU, you'll need a Visa to get in and around ...for everything else, there's Mastercard.

Hilarious Fun Visa Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about visa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vision jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make visa pranks.