Following is our collection of Virus jokes which are very funny. There are some virus bytes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these virus tweetable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.
Must have ransomware.
I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"
And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."
Because he is a bad influenza
...it's called Norton
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
A. Bola
B. Bola
C. Bola
D. Bola
E. Bola
The barkeep asks if something's the matter.
"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."
"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.
"IT?" the customer says, " I work at Baskin Robbins."
Officials believe the case will end how it began: With someone getting a little head.
On my lap.
Turned on.
Virus free.
Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says "I'd like a single shot." The bartender says "That's a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you."
They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.
You can explore virus incurable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean virus ebola dad jokes. There are also virus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"
"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."
The Zika virus.
even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head.
The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
Luckliy it was only a virus.
The SWAT team
No one seems to care.
Terminal Illness
I used to have a girlfriend but she ransomwareο»Ώ.
I WannaCry now... ;(
Me: Well, it has to do with the original animal vectors and -
Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.
On my lap , turned on ,Virus free
It's called Chirpies.
What's most heartbreaking about it is that it's...
untweetable.
Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus
I was told it's great at disinfecting Windows!
Yeah I thought it was just a pdf-file.
As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
Now my computer has autism
Makes me sick
But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.
Day 50: Continuing with this process
Day 100: Still feeling okay
Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.
The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
I asked him,'Who?'
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get both.
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
As if this virus wasn't bad enough, it turns out it is racist too.
#IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK.
Husband: You were never really that skinny
Time of death: 26/4/20 11:31am
Cause of death: Corona virus.
One is a ruthless force hellbent on killing hundreds of thousands, and the other is a virus.
Otherwise we'd have a pandademic.
They say the virus originated in china.
Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
I'm ganna miss the wife and kids
Because it has a virus
It's basically all this he said Xi said bullshit.
Or else we'll have Corona with Lyme
People said it was tasteless.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
Cuz theres nothing flat about your curves.
(seriously we have a real problem this virus is getting worse)
Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!
Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.
Trump shouts Oh my GOD! and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.
After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, How many is a 'brazillion?'
WHO let the dogs out.
Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask
Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus"
They have lil anty bodies.
They were both created in China now every American has one
The whole world faked a virus just to make her wear a mask.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.
Trump dodged the Vietnam War.
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Tik-Tok has got to go!
A PDF file
but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required
I wouldn't be surprised if the Corona virus vaccine will be available in suppository form only.
It explains how I've come in close contact three times, but never got it
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.
The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-ass breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
Illu-mint-ati Confirmed.
I've eaten 9 meals and taken 4 naps, and it's STILL today. Are you kidding me?
In case you've lost track, today is December 268...
This virus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day grazing for
food. We're told "NO!" if we get too close to strangers. We get really excited about car rides.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer and help with the dishes, she'll slam my head on the keyboard. I think she's jokinoifghcxiegcrwlwefggxm
lkergx eyt3ruhcmergceg ewgucc ce;oeijf !!!
It needs to strain itself.
He had the Epstein-behindBarrs virus
He was generally well, just thought it was a good idea to check in. The doctor, however, immediately reached for the covid swab.
"I'm going to test you for Covid19" the Doctor said.
"But I'm well, no complaints, why would you do that?" Replied the man.
"Well..." The doctor started, his gaze narrowing. "Loss of taste is a known symptom of the virus, and you're wearing Crocs."
They've gone into full loch down.
said the Covid-19 virus as it mutates.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the virus viral jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working virus symptom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.