On my lap.
Turned on.
Virus free.
On my lap , turned on ,Virus free
So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus
The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
Luckliy it was only a virus.
...it's called Norton
They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.
And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.
Must have ransomware.
"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"
"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."
Terminal Illness
Officials believe the case will end how it began: With someone getting a little head.
A. Bola
B. Bola
C. Bola
D. Bola
E. Bola
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
He confides to him: "I haven't fucked my wife all month, the doctors discovered that she is carrying a strange virus that can leave me deaf if I have any sort of sexual intercourse with her".
The friend replies: "Talk louder man, I cannot hear you at all".
I used to have a girlfriend but she ransomwareο»Ώ.
I WannaCry now... ;(
It's called Chirpies.
What's most heartbreaking about it is that it's...
untweetable.
The Zika virus.
Yeah I thought it was just a pdf-file.
Because he is a bad influenza
A recent study has found over 200 dead crows near Ceduna S. Aus., and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu virus.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he was also able to determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with large trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.
The State hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for the large truck versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.
When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."
The barkeep asks if something's the matter.
"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."
"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.
"IT?" the customer says, " I work at Baskin Robbins."
They're calling the mass achoo sits .
even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head.
It's a classic coming-a-phage story.
No one seems to care.
I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"
And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."
The SWAT team
Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus
Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says "I'd like a single shot." The bartender says "That's a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you."
You give it some Robo-tussin!
I was told it's great at disinfecting Windows!
I guess you had to be there to get it.
...but getting married is like downloading ransomware.
A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, I don't serve viruses".
The virus turns him into the kind of bartender that does.
(Heard from Neil DeGrasse Tyson on his star talk show)
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