Virus Jokes

Funniest Virus Short Jokes

Short virus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The virus humour may include short viral jokes also.

1. Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
2. Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
   Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
3. Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
   Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.
4. Viruses mutate over time, take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic, and now it's become an IQ test.
5. Viruses can mutate over time. Take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic illness and turned into an IQ test.
6. Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
   (Cr
7. With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village.. The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
8. Just been diagnosed with the dreaded 'Peek-a-Boo virus'... ​
   I'm being transferred to ICU.
9. I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus... It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
10. What's the difference between the China Virus and the Vietnam War? Trump dodged the vietnam War.

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Virus One Liners

Which virus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with virus? I can suggest the ones about infection and bacteria.

1. Texas: Where a virus has reproductive rights and a woman doesn't.
2. COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
3. I like my women how I like my computer. On my lap.
   Turned on.
   Virus free.
4. I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup. Luckliy it was only a virus.
5. Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
6. What do you call a virus that affects the command line? Terminal Illness
7. Which one of these is a deadly virus? A. Bola
   B. Bola
   C. Bola
   D. Bola
   E. Bola
8. I installed anti virus software on my computer Now my computer has autism
9. I like my women the way I like my software Without any viruses and I don't have to pay
10. Why are bacteria better than viruses? Because viruses don't have culture
11. What's the easiest way to get a little head? The Zika virus.
12. Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The common cold? Because he is a bad influenza
13. Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
14. I must have that new monkey pox virus ! I think Im going bananas
15. What kind of computer virus attacks kids A PDF file

Computer Virus Jokes

Here is a list of funny computer virus jokes and even better computer virus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My computer has a virus that causes unblockable popups and constantly demands my personal information... ...it's called Norton
• So I got a virus on my computer And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.
  Must have ransomware.
• Fix a man's computer, and he will be virus-free for a day. Teach a man to fix his computer, and he will be virus-free for a day.
• Computer virus are no joke I used to have a girlfriend but she ransomware.
  I WannaCry now... ;(
• My girlfriend dissapeared when she got a virus on her computer one day and never came back. I guess she Ransomware..
• Did you hear about the virus that only infected children's computers? Yeah I thought it was just a pdf-file.
• Son: "Mom! The computer is full of viruses!" Mom: "Screw the computer! I just won 2 free iPads and a free trip to Paris!"
• My computer died after getting a virus. It was a terminal illness.
• I don't understand why Windex didn't get rid of my computer virus. I was told it's great at disinfecting Windows!
• My computer is infected with the Miley Cyrus virus. It has stopped twerking.

Zika Virus Jokes

Here is a list of funny zika virus jokes and even better zika virus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team
• Awful chat-up line: "Did your mother have zika virus?" Because I like a little head
• I tried write a joke about the Zika virus... ...but couldn't come up with anything off the top of my head.
• Did you see the video of the guy making out with the lady with the Zika Virus? Yeah, apparently it went viral.
  I know this is awful, but my coworkers laughed... so I got that going for me.
• I think I just caught the Zika virus... I met a Brazilian girl and she gave me a little head.
• How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus? It was a no brainer.
• In The News: Inquiry Into Zika Virus Origin Points To Accident By Government Scientist Turns out he was just looking for a little head.
• I was having dinner celebrating my wifes pregnancy and she asked "How many vegetables would you like dear?" I said "One please"
  She said " Perfect because I've contracted the Zika virus"
• The Zika virus is spreading across the Americas. In other news... sales of Extra Small Baseball caps are on the rise.
• Did you hear about the guy who infected himself with the Zika virus? He wanted a little head.

Virus Infects Jokes

Here is a list of funny virus infects jokes and even better virus infects puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Doctor told me I have viral eye infection... Must be the cornea virus
• Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected. No one seems to care.
• Corona Virus has spread to species of birds It now infects bat man and robin
• A joke for those who are not exactly tech savvy. Your computer and/or phone is now infected with a dangerous virus. Comment your personal info to receive instructions on how to remove.
• What do you call Donald Trump if he gets infected with a virus that turns him into a zombie? President Evil
• Do you know why COVID-19 doesn't infect dogs? The virus did its research on John Wick.
• What do you call it when a faculty worker gets a bloodstream virus? A staff infection.
• T cells Killer T cells are where your immune system finds and destroys infected cells that have turned into virus-making factories.
  Mr. T cells are where they pity the bacterial fools.
• What virus infected the zombies in Call of Duty? I don't know but it's definitely not z virus
• Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.

Omicron Virus Jokes

Here is a list of funny omicron virus jokes and even better omicron virus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If comic books have taught me anything it’s that something named OMICRON is going to be near impossible to defeat unless we all work together to defeat it.
• New variant is called Omicron, the 15th letter of the Greek alphabet. Futurama had Omicronians.
  Matt Groening is from the future.
• If You're Going to Name a Virus Variant Omicron At least humor us by adding Persei 8 to the title
• You think the Omicron variant is bad? Because the next one will be 3.14 times worse.
• It's the Covid variant after Omicron I'm really worried about... it may go on forever
• I invented a new aftershave in honour of the Omicron virus I named it 'Leave me the Far Cologne'

Shingles Virus Jokes

Here is a list of funny shingles virus jokes and even better shingles virus puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• "Grandpa caught a virus yesterday while browsing the web at the nursing home.." ".. apparently there were hot shingles in his area."

Fun-Filled Virus Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about virus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disease jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make virus pranks.