virginity Jokes

funny virginity pick up lines and hilarious virginity puns

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My wife said if this post gets 1000 upvotes she'll give up her anal virginity tonight!

Please don't. She's out of town on business until Tuesday.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Virginity is like a car

Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I lost two things today. My virginity...

...and my job at the morgue.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Losing my virginity was like my first football game.

It hurt a lot but at least my dad came.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded.

I wanted my first time to be special.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old

I'm finally above average for something

πŸ‘πŸΌ

An average person loses virginity at the age of 17

I always knew I was above average

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Hey guys, I just lost my virginity yesterday!

What's the worst thing you've ever done to a dead body?

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What's the difference between my virginity and my will to live?

I haven't lost my virginity.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity...

He got it back.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night

I wanted my first time to be special.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

[NSFW] I had my first boxing match yesterday

It reminded me of the time I lost my virginity, I was bloody and really sore, but at least my dad came

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My girl's father said "YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY"!

I replied, "Sorry. Won't happen again!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Once in a while comes a xxx joke that needs a salute.

A guy on his wedding night finding that his wife was a Virgin exclaimed: "I want to Kiss the one who took care of you and protected your Virginity."

She gave a naughty smile and said:
"KISS MY ASS."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

NSFW 16 year old boy comes back home from a party strutting and with a huge grin on his face.

His dad sees this and comments: "Well, looks like someone had a good time tonight."
The kid replies: "You could say that - I just lost my virginity tonight!"
Dad, bursting with pride at his little man, says: "Well come on over, sit next to your ole' dad and tell me about it."
The kid falls silent for a moment and says: "I... can't sit."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Why I haven't lost my virginity?

Because I never lose.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I told my parents that I lost my virginity.

Which they didn't take well, considering they're Catholics.

They sat me down and said, "You must beg to God for forgiveness."

So I got down on my knees and said, "God, I've done enough kneeling today, please forgive me!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The son to his dad

* Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity-
* Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me-
* Son -I don't think i could sit for a while

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Losing it guys vs girls (NSFW)

"Losing your virginity to an asshole" is an unfortunate event for girls but a damn good one for guys.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time.

My dad was holding me from behind.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Candy is like virginity

It's easy to take from a child

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A teenager comes home late one Saturday night

And his dad greeted him asking "Did you have a fun night son?"

"I sure did dad, I lost my virginity."

The dad said "That's awesome son. Here, let's have a couple of beers, you're a man now."

The boy says, " Thanks dad. I could really use one. My ass is killing me."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Tried it in /funny, didnt work there so now Im trying it here :) Best joke I know

First off, sorry for the shitty english, not a native...
A guy have just been invited to his girlfriend for dinner and sleepover for the first time. Since theyve never done "it" he got really excited and thought that this would be the day he lost his virginity. So the day before the dinner he goes into an shop to buy some condoms. He picks one up and and since hes feeling slightly embarrased in front of the shopkeeper he have the urge to explain.
"Well my GF invited me to an dinner tommorow and I think this will be the night when we do "it" for the first time". The shopkeeper just accept it with a nod. Then the guy takes up an second condom.
"Well its her sister. Shes like an older hotter version of my GF and if Im lucky I might sneak up into her bed aswell..." Then he picks up a third condom.
"Its my GFs mom, Ive seen pictures of her. Shes really hot for her age. If Im really really lucky tommorow I might score an hatrick" The shopkeeper rolls his eyes a bit and then let him buy the condoms.
The next day the whole family and the BF are sitting down around the table. The family is a little religious so before the dinner the say grace. When the family is done they notice the guy just keep on praying and praying. It goes on for a long time. After a while the GF feels nudge him in the ribs..
"I didnt know you were this religious"
"No and I didnt know youre father was an shopkeeper..."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I lost my virginity the same way i learned to ride a bike...

My dad holding me from the back

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Confucius say virginity like giant bubble

One prick, all gone

πŸ‘πŸΌ

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A son comes home to his dad...

A son comes home to his dad exclaiming that he had lost his virginity. The dad was very proud of his son and bought him a brand new bike. An hour later the dad asks his son " Why aren't you out riding your new bike?"
the son responds: " Well dad, my ass is still sore."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I lost my virginity at age 20.

I found it again after I got married.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Virginity and candy are a lot a like.

They require minimal force to take from a child.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The Virginity Test

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.


The doctor said, Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.


Paddy asked, And what do I do with these, doc?


The doctor replied, Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.', you hit her with the shovel.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Bobby buys condoms

Bobby walks into a drug store to buy condoms but couldn't find them. He tells the pharmacist "I'm going to need a dozen condoms?". The pharmacist replies "Sure thing. Big night tonight?" With a chuckle and a smile the Bobby said "Oh yeah, I'm going to take my girlfriends virginity tonight. She's a bit too immature for me but I'm still gonna pop her cherry. Might as well wear it out before I kick her to the curb". The pharmacist shakes his head and sells the boy the condoms.

Later that night, Bobby knocks on his girlfriends door and the pretty teenage girl answers. With a big hug she says, "Come, I want you to meet my family". "This is my mother and father", the young girl said. "Hello ma'am, hello sir, I was going to take your daughter to a movie and come straight back but only if I have your permission and blessing." With a big smile the girl says "Bobby, you never told me you were such a polite gentleman". Bobby sternly looked at her and said "yeah... and you never told me your dad was a pharmacist".

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What are the best Virginity puns ?

Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Virginity? Well, here are the best Virginity dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Virginity pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes