Virginity Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Virginity puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Virginity

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

Virginity is like a car

Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either

I lost two things today. My virginity...

...and my job at the morgue.

Losing my virginity was like my first football game.

It hurt a lot but at least my dad came.

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded.

I wanted my first time to be special.

The average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old

I'm finally above average for something

An average person loses virginity at the age of 17

I always knew I was above average

Hey guys, I just lost my virginity yesterday!

What's the worst thing you've ever done to a dead body?

What's the difference between my virginity and my will to live?

I haven't lost my virginity.

Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity...

He got it back.

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night

I wanted my first time to be special.

I just read the average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old.

I'm finally above average for something.

My girl's father said "YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY"!

I replied, "Sorry. Won't happen again!"

NSFW 16 year old boy comes back home from a party strutting and with a huge grin on his face.

His dad sees this and comments: "Well, looks like someone had a good time tonight."
The kid replies: "You could say that - I just lost my virginity tonight!"
Dad, bursting with pride at his little man, says: "Well come on over, sit next to your ole' dad and tell me about it."
The kid falls silent for a moment and says: "I... can't sit."

Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game

There was blood and snot everywhere, but at least my dad came

"Dad, I lost my virginity today!"

Dad: "Congrats son! Come, sit down and have a beer!"

Son: "I would sure love a beer, but I dont think I can sit down just yet."

Why I haven't lost my virginity?

Because I never lose.

I told my parents that I lost my virginity.

Which they didn't take well, considering they're Catholics.

They sat me down and said, "You must beg to God for forgiveness."

So I got down on my knees and said, "God, I've done enough kneeling today, please forgive me!"

The son to his dad

* Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity-
* Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me-
* Son -I don't think i could sit for a while

Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time.

My dad was holding me from behind.

Candy is like virginity

It's easy to take from a child

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

Son proudly tells Dad : Dad, I lost my virginity!

Dad : That's my boy! Let's sit down and celebrate this!

Son: I can't sit down it kinda hurts..

Guy: "I lost my virginity to Barry White."

Girl: "Me, too! What song was it for you?"

Guy: "Song?"

What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."

I lost my virginity the same way i learned to ride a bike...

My dad holding me from the back

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled.

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

I lost my virginity at age 20.

I found it again after I got married.

Virginity and candy are a lot a like.

They require minimal force to take from a child.

Bobby buys condoms

Bobby walks into a drug store to buy condoms but couldn't find them. He tells the pharmacist "I'm going to need a dozen condoms?". The pharmacist replies "Sure thing. Big night tonight?" With a chuckle and a smile the Bobby said "Oh yeah, I'm going to take my girlfriends virginity tonight. She's a bit too immature for me but I'm still gonna pop her cherry. Might as well wear it out before I kick her to the curb". The pharmacist shakes his head and sells the boy the condoms.

Later that night, Bobby knocks on his girlfriends door and the pretty teenage girl answers. With a big hug she says, "Come, I want you to meet my family". "This is my mother and father", the young girl said. "Hello ma'am, hello sir, I was going to take your daughter to a movie and come straight back but only if I have your permission and blessing." With a big smile the girl says "Bobby, you never told me you were such a polite gentleman". Bobby sternly looked at her and said "yeah... and you never told me your dad was a pharmacist".

What do you call it when a sailor loses his virginity?

First mate.

My friend was too afraid to lose her virginity

So I just gave her a friendly tip

A King asks two guards to protect his beautiful daughter's virginity...

Unbeknownst to the guards, the king put a trap in his daughter's nether regions.

The next day, the king summons the guards and one showed up with mangled genitals. The King had him executed for making attempts on his daughter.

The other guard, with his manhood intact was offered a promotion for upholding abstinence, to which he replied "hnnnggg"

Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity...

No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes.

My girlfriend's birthday is the same day as my grandpa's. So now i don't know to which party I should go.

On the one hand, it is the person to whom I lost my virginity. But, on the other, I believe I should also go to my girlfriend's birthday.

Today I lost my virginity for a dollar

I wish I didn't bend down to pick it up.

A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"

The woman starts crying.

"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"

I'll never forget the day I lost my virginity...

...God I miss prison.

What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

Couple claiming Virginity:

Couple claiming Virginity:
Girl:If this Is your 1st time,then how did u do it so well?

Boy:If this Is your 1st time,then how do u know that i did well???

First timer

Son comes back home at night
Dad is waiting for him and asks:
- where have u been so late!!??
- dad I just lost my virginity!
- ohh...I'm so proud of you... have a cigar, whiskey, sit down and tell me everything
- ok I'll take a cigar and whiskey but I won't sit down.

Would you agree that if 1/3 = .3 repeating and 3/3 = .9 repeating and 3/3 = 1 then

I still haven't lost my virginity

I asked Santa that i wanted to lose my virginity

think i should've been more specific.

My new years resolution is to lose my virginity

I think its time after 85 years

A father is yelling at his daughter's boyfriend for taking her. virginity

The boyfriend replies: Sorry, it won't happen again.

What did the apologetic rapist say to the virgin.

I'm sorry for taking your virginity, it won't happen again.

I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.

I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.

Losing my virginity was a lot like when I first learned how to ride a bike.

My father had his hands on my shoulders.

I lost my virginity to my teacher yesterday.

Unfortunately, I'm home-schooled.

Losing my virginity was a lot like learning to ride my bike

My dad was behind me the whole way.

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

A man was reading a newspaper

A man was reading a newspaper when his son suddenly barged into the living room. He was all sweaty and out of breath, but had a big smile on his face. Dad! exclaimed his son, I just lost my virginity! The man put down his newspaper and looked at his son proudly. The young man standing before him reminded him of his youth, when he was a playboy with a handful of girls. The man smiled and said, Sit down, son, and let me tell you a story. The son replied, I can't, Dad, it still hurts to sit.

[NSFW] How did the turtle finally lose his virginity?

He came out of his shell.

How is your virginity like the last piece of pizza?

You try to save it until the right time but then your dad just ends up taking it

I just lost my virginity!!!!

April fools *sob*

My first football game was like the time I lost my virginity.

I mean I kinda cried a little... but at least my dad came.

Virginity is like a car

if you keep it for more than 25 years, nobody will want to take it.

Virginity is like a car

You really want to keep it but a black guy is gonna take it anyway.

Getting gilded is like losing your virginity

I have yet to experience it...

Who did the pirate lose his virginity to?

His first mate.

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

My mother always scolded me for losing my stuff in school when I was a kid...

That's probably the reason why I can't lose my virginity now.

Riding the Bus for the First Time is Like Losing Your Virginity to a Cheap Hooker.

You wait around to find a nice taxi, but none appear.And then all of a sudden, you see this giant non-appealing thing lumber towards you. You give up your hopes and pay then fee of 1.50 and enter the massive doors that, over the years have been modified to fit fairly large occupants. For the next 20 or so minutes,it's a very bumpy ride, stop and go. Then you realize there have been elderly, handicapped, both physically and mentally, spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. Then when you get were you needed to go, you immediately regret it. And then you never see the exact same bus again.

If this joke was terrible, it's because it was both original and my first, all let myself out.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes