The Best 68 Virginity Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Virginity jokes. There are some virginity manhood jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these virginity two 40 year old virgins puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Virginity Jokes and Puns

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

Hey guys, I just lost my virginity yesterday!

What's the worst thing you've ever done to a dead body?

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

Virginity joke, First Impressions

My mother always scolded me for losing my stuff in school when I was a kid...

That's probably the reason why I can't lose my virginity now.

Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time.

My dad was holding me from behind.

First timer

Son comes back home at night
Dad is waiting for him and asks:
- where have u been so late!!??
- dad I just lost my virginity!
- ohh...I'm so proud of you... have a cigar, whiskey, sit down and tell me everything
- ok I'll take a cigar and whiskey but I won't sit down.

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

Virginity joke, What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Losing my virginity was a lot like learning to ride my bike

My dad was behind me the whole way.

What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

So... the girl I lost my virginity to was retarded.

I wanted my first time to be special.

Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity...

No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes.

You can explore virginity integrity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean virginity girfriend dad jokes. There are also virginity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I lost two things today. My virginity...

...and my job at the morgue.

Today I lost my virginity for a dollar

I wish I didn't bend down to pick it up.

I lost my virginity to my teacher yesterday.

Unfortunately, I'm home-schooled.

The son to his dad

* Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity-
* Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me-
* Son -I don't think i could sit for a while

Getting gilded is like losing your virginity

I have yet to experience it...

Virginity joke, Getting gilded is like losing your virginity

I just lost my virginity!!!!

April fools *sob*

An average person loses virginity at the age of 17

I always knew I was above average

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

My friend lost his virginity to his teacher when he was only 13 years old.

A pretty impressive feat, especially for someone who was homeschooled.

Couple claiming Virginity:

Couple claiming Virginity:
Girl:If this Is your 1st time,then how did u do it so well?

Boy:If this Is your 1st time,then how do u know that i did well???

What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."

Virginity and candy are a lot a like.

They require minimal force to take from a child.

I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night

I wanted my first time to be special.

I told my parents that I lost my virginity.

Which they didn't take well, considering they're Catholics.

They sat me down and said, "You must beg to God for forgiveness."

So I got down on my knees and said, "God, I've done enough kneeling today, please forgive me!"

I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.

I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.

My girl's father said "YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY"!

I replied, "Sorry. Won't happen again!"

Candy is like virginity

It's easy to take from a child

Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity...

He got it back.

Virginity is like a car

Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either

Virginity is like a car

You really want to keep it but a black guy is gonna take it anyway.

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"

The woman starts crying.

"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"

Losing my virginity was like my first football game.

It hurt a lot but at least my dad came.

A King asks two guards to protect his beautiful daughter's virginity...

Unbeknownst to the guards, the king put a trap in his daughter's nether regions.

The next day, the king summons the guards and one showed up with mangled genitals. The King had him executed for making attempts on his daughter.

The other guard, with his manhood intact was offered a promotion for upholding abstinence, to which he replied "hnnnggg"

Why I haven't lost my virginity?

Because I never lose.

Losing my virginity was a lot like when I first learned how to ride a bike.

My father had his hands on my shoulders.

NSFW 16 year old boy comes back home from a party strutting and with a huge grin on his face.

His dad sees this and comments: "Well, looks like someone had a good time tonight."
The kid replies: "You could say that - I just lost my virginity tonight!"
Dad, bursting with pride at his little man, says: "Well come on over, sit next to your ole' dad and tell me about it."
The kid falls silent for a moment and says: "I... can't sit."

What do you call it when a sailor loses his virginity?

First mate.

I asked Santa that i wanted to lose my virginity

think i should've been more specific.

My new years resolution is to lose my virginity

I think its time after 85 years

Would you agree that if 1/3 = .3 repeating and 3/3 = .9 repeating and 3/3 = 1 then

I still haven't lost my virginity

Virginity is like a car

if you keep it for more than 25 years, nobody will want to take it.

How is your virginity like the last piece of pizza?

You try to save it until the right time but then your dad just ends up taking it

I lost my virginity the same way i learned to ride a bike...

My dad holding me from the back

A father is yelling at his daughter's boyfriend for taking her. virginity

The boyfriend replies: Sorry, it won't happen again.

I lost my virginity at age 20.

I found it again after I got married.

My friend was too afraid to lose her virginity

So I just gave her a friendly tip

My first football game was like the time I lost my virginity.

I mean I kinda cried a little... but at least my dad came.

What did the apologetic rapist say to the virgin.

I'm sorry for taking your virginity, it won't happen again.

I'll never forget the day I lost my virginity...

...God I miss prison.

What's the difference between my virginity and my will to live?

I haven't lost my virginity.

The average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old

I'm finally above average for something

My girlfriend's birthday is the same day as my grandpa's. So now i don't know to which party I should go.

On the one hand, it is the person to whom I lost my virginity. But, on the other, I believe I should also go to my girlfriend's birthday.

Son proudly tells Dad : Dad, I lost my virginity!

Dad : That's my boy! Let's sit down and celebrate this!

Son: I can't sit down it kinda hurts..

Guy: "I lost my virginity to Barry White."

Girl: "Me, too! What song was it for you?"

Guy: "Song?"

"Dad, I lost my virginity today!"

Dad: "Congrats son! Come, sit down and have a beer!"

Son: "I would sure love a beer, but I dont think I can sit down just yet."

Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game

There was blood and snot everywhere, but at least my dad came

I just read the average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old.

I'm finally above average for something.

[NSFW] How did the turtle finally lose his virginity?

He came out of his shell.

Lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome

I wanted my first time to be special

What's the difference in virginity, a dollar, and an idea?

If you are a virgin and I am a virgin and we give each other our virginity then neither of us are virgins.

If you have a dollar and I have a dollar and we give each other our dollar then we both still only have a dollar.

If you have an idea and I have an idea and we give each other our ideas then we both have two ideas.

My wife insisted that I list every woman I'd ever been with...

so I started with the woman I lost my virginity to, all the way up to her. And that is where I should have stopped.

~Jimmy Carr

Joke of the day

My virginity

Just lost my virginity

Time to uninstall reddit

There is only one true way to check virginity

Check the label on the back of the bottle

A man was reading a newspaper

when his son suddenly barged into the living room. He was all sweaty and out of breath, but had a big smile on his face. Dad! exclaimed his son, I just lost my virginity! The man put down his newspaper and looked at his son proudly. The young man standing before him reminded him of his youth, when he was a playboy with a handful of girls. The man smiled and said, Sit down, son, and let me tell you a story. The son replied, I can't, Dad, it still hurts to sit.

"You Took My Daughters Virginity!"

"I'm Sorry Sir, It Won't Happen Again!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the virginity virgin mary jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working virginity virgin mother piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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