The Best 71 Virginia Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Virginia jokes. There are some virginia california jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these virginia west virginia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Virginia Jokes and Puns

A man from West Virginia and a woman from Kentucky got married...

The day after their wedding, the man's father sees him storm into the house, gun in hand. "What's got you upset, son?" The father asked. To which the man replied, "I shot my wife. I found out she was a virgin, so if she isn't good enough for her family, she isn't good enough for ours!"

what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia?

either way you lose the trailer

What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween?

Pump Kin

Virginia joke, What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween?

A Young Man Asks His Father About His Fiance

A young man from West Virginia goes up to his dad and says, "Pa, I am really concerned about my fiance."

His dad asks him to tell him what the problem is, he says, "Well Pa, I just don't know what to do, I just found out she is a virgin."

His dad says, "Dump her, if she ain't good enough fer her own kin, she ain't good enough fer ours."

Self-proclaimed "west virginia backwoods Redneck" told me these were the best jokes ever, tha. Waid "birds's gotta eat, just like a worm."

what do you call a deer with no eyes? ... .

No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye deer.


If you poke a Virginia Tech fan...

Are you doing the Hokie Pokey?

(real news) In Virginia, a man stole a samurai sword from a store by hiding it in his pants.

He later denied having the sword, telling police he *was* just glad to see them.

Virginia joke, (real news) In Virginia, a man stole a samurai sword from a store by hiding it in his pants.

I have a sister named Virginia...

We called her Virgin for short, but not for long!

So they were going to make a new CSI tv show in West Virginia...

But they had to scrap production when they realized there were no dental records and all the DNA was the same.

I think it's kinda funny people named their kids after US states…

Y'know, names like Carolina, Georgia, Dakota, Virginia, etc. When I have a kid, I'm gonna name him Michigan, just in case some guy named Mitch reincarnates into him.

How can you tell if lunch meat is from West Virginia?

It's in bread

You can explore virginia secede reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean virginia virginian dad jokes. There are also virginia puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIL that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia...

otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.

An art museum in Virginia...

An art museum in Virginia recently opened an exhibition of Robert Mapplethorpe's male nudes. The display of that kind of art in a conservative state has lead to a great deal of local controversy, with local church groups picketing the museum, along with counter-demonstrators by art lovers, civil libertarians, and gay rights groups.

The local paper has begun referring to it as the Battle of Manasses.

My girlfriend lives on the east coast of Virginia.

She's my Chesapeake Bae.

Who's the poorest person in West Virginia?

The Tooth Fairy.

I once knew a girl called Virginia...

We called her Virgin for short, but not for long!

Virginia joke, I once knew a girl called Virginia...

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What does a West Virginia woman say after sex?

Git off me Pa, you're squishing my smokes.

What do you call the sweat on the bodies of two people having sex in West Virginia?

Relative Humidity


Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

A Hurricane and a Divorce in Virginia

I learned this joke from my chem teacher:

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.

Why are no murders solved in West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA and no one has any teeth.

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in west virginia?

if it was invented anywhere else it would be the teethbrush

What do you call a virgin in West Virginia?

An only child....

What's the most common phrase heard in West Virginia on a Friday night?

Get off me daddy, yer crushin' my cigarettes.

How do you stop rape in West Virginia?

kill all the sheep

How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia?

If he was from anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

Did anybody hear about the seismic activity in Virginia early this morning?

Turns out it was just George Washington rolling over in his grave.

What's the difference between a drug dealer in Colorado and a drug dealer in virginia

One takes insurance

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

...because they're still alive.

Two Virginians and an immigrant walk into a room

Diametraclly opposed, foes

So West Virginia recently legalized medical marijuana...

I guess that you could say it was almost heaven.

The worst thing about living in West Virginia is all the country music.

The second worst thing is telling your sister you already have a prom date.

What's the first question on the West Virginia Bar Exam?

If a husband and wife get divorced, do they still remain brother and sister?

A) Yes
B) No
C) They become cousins
D) None of the Above

If you're from Virginia, you're a Virginian. If you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. If you're from Texas, you're a Texan.

And if you're from Massachusetts, you're a Democrat.

My dad who has a really thick Asian accent just asked me..

Did you see the white *super racist* riot in Virginia? He was trying to say **supremacist**. Honestly, he wasn't wrong tho.

As things heat up in Charlotte, Virginia...

Remember that pepper spray is super effective against white nationalist because they aren't use to seasoning.

I'm thinking of starting a service to find out the heritage of West Virginia residents

I'll call it Incestryβ„’

Why are incest videos so popular on PornHub right now?

Because West Virginia finally got internet access.

A redneck couple from West Virginia get married..

That night, they stay in a cheap motel. Just as they're about to consummate the marriage, the woman says- "Be gentle- it's my first time."

The new husband gets dressed and storms home to tell his parents the devastating news:

"You did the right thing, son", says his father. "If she ain't good enough for her own family- she ain't good enough for ours!"

I met a lady named Virginia last night

Now she's just ia.

Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men... or a virgin.

*sorry if this is not new, from WV and my fav.

How do you find a virgin in West Virginia?

Find a girl who can still run faster than her 12 year-old brother.

They've recently discovered a brand new use for sheep in West Virginia...

... They're calling it "wool"...

West Virginia....

1.8 Million people, 17 last names.

I read an article that said "there have been no reported glueten allergies in the state of West Virginia"

I thought it was inbred?

What's the definition of a virgin in West Virginia

A 16 year old girl who can still outrun her brothers

A New Bed Size

Forget a California King! A West Virginia King has enough space for the whole family!

In response to meeting someone named Virginia. Oh I used to go to school with a Virginia...

We called her Virgin for short, but not for long.

What do you call 32 West Virginia women in a room?

A full set of teeth.

How do they circumcise boys in Virginia?

Kick his sister in the chin.

Guy in West Virginia gets a girlfriend...

He runs to his dad and says, "I just got a new girlfriend and she's a virgin."
The dad says, "If she's not good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

What is Virginia Governor Ralph Northam's favorite movie?

Partial Birth Of A Nation.

A racist and a sexual predator walk into a Virginia bar

The whole bar screams Welcome Governors !

I wanted to write a letter to the Governor . . .

opposing a bill being considered in the Virginia legislature. But with Gov Northram's facing a chorus of demands for his resignation because of his blackface photo, and the next two officials in line to succeed him embroiled in their own controversies, I wasn't sure to whom I should send my letter.

I finally decided the safest choice was to mail it to the Governor's Mansion, "Current occupant."

The sexual position reverse cowgirl has been outlawed in West Virginia.

They claim turning your back on family is very insulting.

Did you know West Virginia has a state flower?

They call it "the satellite dish"

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in W. Virginia?

because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called the teethbrush.

The toothbrush must have been invented in West Virginia

If it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

West Virginia Pregnancy Rate Hits All Time Low as COVID-19 Puts Stop to Family Reunions

Not The Onion.

How do you know the Tooth Brush was invented in West Virginia?

If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a Teeth Brush.

A couple of Italian guys are discussing who, if they could choose any woman in the world, they'd rather bang

One of them says some big name actress, the other says "Virginia Pippilini."

The first guy's like, "Who's that? Is she a model?"

"I don't know"

"Actress?"

"I don't know."

"Singer?"

"I don't know."

"Well if you don't know, why choose her?"

The guy pulls out a newspaper and points to the headline. "Virginia Pipeline blows 50 men dead."

What U.S. state has the highest portion of Redditors per capita?

Virginia

How do parents in West Virginia explain underwear to children?

**"Yellow means front, brown means back."**

A joke from my grandfather who was a dentist for 40 years

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because everywhere else it would be a teethbrush.

Chuck Norris once visited Virginia

Now it's called just "ia"

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called the teethbrush

Be careful who you talk to about religion in West Virginia

You could be talking about sects with a miner!

I tried to kill a spider by spraying it with a whole can of White Rain hair spray

But that didn't work, now it's wearing blue eye shadow and chain smoking Virginia Slims.

Did you hear about the moose who escaped a Mexican zoo and ran all the way to Virginia?

He's now a VA-moose.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the virginia florida jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working virginia virginia tech piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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