Virgin Mother Jokes
30 virgin mother jokes and hilarious virgin mother puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about virgin mother that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Virgin Mother Short Jokes
Short virgin mother jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The virgin mother humour may include short virgin mary jokes also.
- My mother always scolded me for losing my stuff in school when I was a kid... That's probably the reason why I can't lose my virginity now.
- Virginity in school Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop." - 3 reasons Jesus was actually Irish 1. He went out drinking with his buddies the night before he died.
2. He thought his mother was a v**....
3. His mother thought he was God. - I'm pretty sure Jesus was Italian Because only an Italian mother could think her son was a god.
And only an Italian son could think his mother was a v**.... - You know how we know Jesus was Jewish? He lived with his parents until his was 30.
He worked for his father.
His mother treated him like a god.
And he still thinks his mother was a v**.... - Did you know that Jesus Christ was Italian? He lived with his mother for 33 years; he thought she was a v**... and she thought he was the son of God.
- How do we know that Jesus was a Jew? He totally believes that he is the Son of God, and that his mother is a v**...
- How to tell if Jesus was Jewish. - Jesus was unmarried until he was 30.
- Jesus inherited his father's business.
- Jesus thought his mother was a god.
- Jesus believed his mother was v**.... - How do you know Jesus was Jewish? He lived at home until he was 30.
He went into his fathers business.
He thought his mother was a v**..., and his mother thought he was god.
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Virgin Mother One Liners
Which virgin mother one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with virgin mother? I can suggest the ones about daughter mother and virgin boy.
- Of all the things Dave misses his Mother-in-laws virginity the most.
- I lost my virginity to my mother's best friend. My father.
- What television show best describes a mothers virginity? Lost
- What is Jesus's mother favorite drink? v**... mojito.
- Three old men attend the birth of a child. The mother tells her husband she's a v**....
- You know why God loved Mother Mary so much? v**... m**... ( ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)
- Why was Mary Jane not a v**...? Her mother leaves.
Comical & Quirky Virgin Mother Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about virgin mother you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean virgins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make virgin mother pranks.
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.
Two virgins get married.
On their honeymoon the groom calls her mother and asks what they should do now.
The mother tells her son that the husband is supposed to stick the biggest thing he has where the wife pees.
To say the least, the wife was confused when she found her husband with his leg in the toilet.
How can you tell Jesus was Irish?
He lived at home until he was in his thirties, he thought his mother was a v**..., he was an unemployed carpenter who got into trouble with the Empire, his last night on Earth was spent out drinking with his mates, and his last request was a drink.
A bunch of rapists take over a monastery...
... and they tell the nuns to say their last prayers as virgins because they will r**... all of them. Just then a young nun jumps out and says "do whatever you which with us, but please spare our mother superior, she's rather old and fragile". The mother nun then interrupts her and says " hush child ... all of us means all of us"
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
A newly married couple is anxious about their honeymoon...
The husband and the wife are both virgins, and come from very conservative families.
On their first night together, they uncomfortably undress in front of each other and lay in bed.
Not knowing what to do or where to start, the husband calls his mother for advice.
The mother says that they should snuggle, and that things should happen from there.
The couple does this, but nothing happens.
The husband calls his mother again. She gets frustrated and says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and put it in her hairiest spot!"
The husband is quiet for a moment, then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
r**... Wedding
After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says 'you will be careful won't you?'
The young hubby is a bit confused and asks 'Why?'
She explains that she is still a v**...
He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and storms out of the room.
At home his mother is surprised to see him back so early and asks 'what's up son?'
He says 'she's a v**... Maw'
The mother says 'you done did right boy… if she's not good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours'
The Power of Christ
Mary notices that her son Jesus is 30 years old and still a v**.... So she tells the local p**... to show Jesus, what being with a woman is all about.
The p**... takes Jesus into a room while his mother waits outside. A few minutes later she comes screaming out of the room.
Mary asks Jesus: "Son, what happend?!"
Jesus says: "Well, the woman and I sat next to each other and we talked for a bit. Then she put her hand on my arm, so I put my hand on her arm. Next she moved her hand between my legs, so I moved my hand between her legs. Right then I noticed she was missing a body part.
That's why I healed her."
