Virgin Mary Jokes
38 virgin mary jokes and hilarious virgin mary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about virgin mary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of jokes about the Virgin Mary. If you are easily offended, you may want to avoid reading this article.
Funniest Virgin Mary Short Jokes
Short virgin mary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The virgin mary humour may include short virgin mother jokes also.
- Tim Tebow is a lot like Mary because they're both virgins. But at least Mary was able to produce.
- It's been discovered that Mary was not infact a v**... when Jesus was born. It was an inaccurate conception.
- I wish I were Mary from the Bible She gives birth to a child and her parents still believe she's a v**...
- Hey v**... Mary! Stop having s**... for money ! Whoa Whoa Whoa...I'm just trying to make a little prophet
- I give to you a joke I made up when I was thirteen: What is the v**... Mary's favourite drug? Heavenly hash.
- So, turns out the v**... Mary was a p**...... Cause she had s**... with God for a little prophet.
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Virgin Mary One Liners
Which virgin mary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with virgin mary? I can suggest the ones about jesus and mary and st mary.
- Say, Mary, How did you loose your virginity? From the inside
- How did the v**... Mary know it was time to give birth to Jesus? Her wine broke.
- Why was Mary a v**...? Because Joseph the Carpenter worked his own wood.
- s**... Ed teacher wanted for Blessed v**... Mary Catholic School No experience necessary.
- What do you call the v**... Mary in a s**... dungeon? Miracle whip.
- What is a male vampire's favorite drink? A v**... Mary.
- Once there was a old woman, who died just after when she born. Just like v**... Mary.
- What did the v**... Mary say? Jesus Christ! Clean your room! Were you born in a barn?
- Why was v**... Mary, v**...? Because the three wise men, went for the star
- What do Bristol Palin and the v**... Mary have in common?
- You know why God loved Mother Mary so much? v**... m**... ( ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)
- Why was Mary Jane not a v**...? Her mother leaves.
Hilarious Fun Virgin Mary Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about virgin mary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hail mary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make virgin mary pranks.
My friend said, "Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?" I replied, "The same way the v**... Mary got Jesus." He laughed, "A miracle?!"
I said, "No. s**... that I can't tell anyone about."
After a 2000 year absence, the v**... Mary takes a trip down to earth.
After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I met a man." Peter says to her, "That's not bad. This is how it is down on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I kissed the man. Is that bad?" Peter says to her, "No, that's part of life on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is Mary."
A Muslim walks into a bar with a bomb...
He asks the barkeep "why does this bar have a bomb?"
The barkeep replies "don't worry, it's just for decoration. This bar, Paradise, is a wartime-themed bar"
"Well I'll be!" exclaims the Muslim. He takes a seat and orders a v**... Mary, as his religion forbids him from imbibing alcohol, but encourages the enjoyment of virgins in Paradise.
v**... Mary would like to return to earth once.
God allows it, but only on the condition that she calls heaven every evening. No sooner said than done.
On the first evening, Mary calls Heaven: "This is the v**... Mary. I saw myself a beautiful skirt. May I buy it?" "Yes, you may. But call back tomorrow night."
The second night, "Here's the v**... Mary. I saw such a nice lipstick. Can I buy it?" "Sure, see you tomorrow."
On the third evening: "Here is Mary."
Pope and Bill Clinton die on the same day
Pope and bill clinton die on the same day. Due to a bureaucratic mistake, Pope goes to h**..., Bill Clinton goes to heaven but they correct the mistake after a short time. On their way to opposite sides Bill Clinton and Pope run into each other and start a conversation. Pope talks about how much he wants to meet v**... Mary and Bill Clinton goes
-You missed that chance by 10 minutes
Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to h**....
When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!
The v**... Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"
"Yes," fumes God, "it turns out they're all terrible at receiving."
A young tourist was attempting to sneak a quart of tequila...
...back from Mexico when the border guard stopped him and asked what was in the bottle.
"Holy water from the shrine of the v**... Mary" replied the man.
The border guard opened the bottle, took a sip exclaimed , "This is tequila"
"My heavens!" Gasped the man. "Another miracle!"
A man is on a blind date with a girl named Marie and things heat up a little...
He asks her, "Would you object to s**...?"
Marie tells him, a little embarrassed, "That's something I've never done."
With this he says, "Really? I've never had s**... with a v**...."
Marie replies, "No, silly! I never object."
Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!
Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.
So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic
Imam :So tell me,what happens if a man visits church every Sunday and follows the word of Jesus
Father: He will go to heaven after he dies
Imam: What will he get there?
Father: He will forever be in the company of Father,Jesus,Holy Spirit,v**... Mary...
Imam: Thats the problem, Only One v**......
President Clinton and the Pope die on the same day.
Due to a paperwork issue, the Pope ends up in h**... and the President gets sent to Heaven. The Pope explains the mix up to the devil, who acknowledges the problem and tells him it will take 24 hours before they can reverse it. The next day, the Pope gets called to leave, and on his way up he met Clinton who was on his way down.
The Pope: Sorry about the mix up
Clinton: No problem
The Pope: Well I'm really excited about going to Heaven
Clinton: Why's that? It's not so great
The Pope: All my life I've wanted to meet the v**... Mary
Clinton: Sorry, your holiness, but you're a day late
The Power of Christ
Mary notices that her son Jesus is 30 years old and still a v**.... So she tells the local p**... to show Jesus, what being with a woman is all about.
The p**... takes Jesus into a room while his mother waits outside. A few minutes later she comes screaming out of the room.
Mary asks Jesus: "Son, what happend?!"
Jesus says: "Well, the woman and I sat next to each other and we talked for a bit. Then she put her hand on my arm, so I put my hand on her arm. Next she moved her hand between my legs, so I moved my hand between her legs. Right then I noticed she was missing a body part.
That's why I healed her."
