virgin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious virgin puns

They're going to have to change the name of the U.S Virgin Islands

They're about to get fucked

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Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

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My friend said, "Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?" I replied, "The same way the Virgin Mary got Jesus." He laughed, "A miracle?!"



I said, "No. Sex that I can't tell anyone about."

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Virginity is like a car

Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either

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Two kids were talking...

Kid 1: I bet you're a virgin

Kid 2: I was a virgin, until last night!

Kid 1: Lies!

Kid 2: Ask your sister.

Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!

Kid 2: You will in about nine months!

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Don't die a virgin.

Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you.

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My friend said, "Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?" I said, "The same way the Virgin Mary got Jesus."

"A miracle?!" he laughed.

I said, "No. Sex that I can't tell anyone about."

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A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...

A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.

Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...

"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"

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A hero comes to a village...

The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. "There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it will come down and eat one of our virgin girls" the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

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Yesterday I was nothing more than a sad, teenage virgin

But today I turned 20

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Guess who's no longer a 24 year old virgin...

...i turned 25 yesterday.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair

Virgin Mobile

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Yet another redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...

A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.

Later, when his buddies see him sad at the bar they ask what went wrong, he explains...

"My mom just told me I'm adopted"

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A woman teaches her virgin boyfriend.....

about sex. She suggests some 69 and has him lay down with her on top. As she starts sucking him, she lowers her pussy to his face and accidentally farts. Embarrassed, she jumps up and says they should try again. As soon as she squats on his face, she farts again. The guy then says: Can we try something else? I don't think I can take 67 more of these.

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I'm a virgin by choice.

Not my choice, but everyone else's.

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Bill Clinton and the Pope die at the same time.

There's an administrative mix up in purgatory and the Pope is sent to Hell and Clinton to Heaven.

After 20 minutes the mistake is discovered and the mistake rectified. As they're heading down the escalator Clinton down, the Pope up, the pope says to Clinton "I'm really looking forward to meeting the virgin Mary".

To which Clinton replies "You're about five minutes too late"

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Your mom joke, but clever

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

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What do you call a nun on a bicycle?

virgin mobile

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As of today, I'm finally not a 25 year old virgin anymore.

I'm a 26 year old one.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

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What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Repost.

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I was a 26 year old virgin until last night

Yesterday i turned 27!

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Here's to virgins

Thanks for fucking nothing.

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Are you a VIRGIN?

Joe had a blind date with Maria for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"

"That is something I have never done before," Maria replied.

"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Joe was amazed!

"No, silly," she giggled, "I've never objected!"

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Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA?

Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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I'm a virgin by choice!

Just not my choice.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in America?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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Why wasn't jesus born in texas?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin

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Unlike Jesus, I did not have a virgin birth

It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a virgin death

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Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

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Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...

Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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I'm a virgin by choice

just not my choice.

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*rubs a lamp*

*rubs a lamp*

Genie appears and asks for a wish

"I don't wanna die virgin"

*Genie grants immortality

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I'm a virgin by choice.

Just not my choice.

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People commonly believe that Jesus died a virgin, but I heard he got nailed right before he died.

Blasphemy.

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What are the most funny Virgin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Virgin? Well, here are the best Virgin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Virgin pick up lines to share with friends.

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