Virgin Boy Jokes

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

r**... boy meets his dream girl!

A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

r**... Wedding

After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says 'you will be careful won't you?'
The young hubby is a bit confused and asks 'Why?'
She explains that she is still a v**...
He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and storms out of the room.
At home his mother is surprised to see him back so early and asks 'what's up son?'
He says 'she's a v**... Maw'
The mother says 'you done did right boy… if she's not good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours'

Unicorn hunting...

Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk.
Paul asked Kurt, So, what do you hunt?
Kurt answered, I hunt unicorns.
Paul was startled, but said, Really? How do you do that?
Kurt replied, I find a v**... and hire her to help me. The v**... sits around in the woods until a unicorn comes to her. When it does, it sets off a snare.
Paul said, Boy, they must be hard to find. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one.
Kurt said, Yeah, and there aren't many unicorns around, either!

The Royal Honeymoon.

On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a v**...."
Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."

Bobby buys condoms

Bobby walks into a drug store to buy condoms but couldn't find them. He tells the pharmacist "I'm going to need a dozen condoms?". The pharmacist replies "Sure thing. Big night tonight?" With a chuckle and a smile the Bobby said "Oh yeah, I'm going to take my girlfriends virginity tonight. She's a bit too immature for me but I'm still gonna pop her cherry. Might as well wear it out before I kick her to the curb". The pharmacist shakes his head and sells the boy the condoms.
Later that night, Bobby knocks on his girlfriends door and the pretty teenage girl answers. With a big hug she says, "Come, I want you to meet my family". "This is my mother and father", the young girl said. "Hello ma'am, hello sir, I was going to take your daughter to a movie and come straight back but only if I have your permission and blessing." With a big smile the girl says "Bobby, you never told me you were such a polite gentleman". Bobby sternly looked at her and said "yeah... and you never told me your dad was a pharmacist".

There is a little boy who wants a bike..

So he goes and asks his mom for a bike to which she replies that maybe if he prays, god will bring him a bike.
So he sits down and writes Jesus a letter .." Dear jesus, if you give me a bike I wont sin for 1 year.."
He walks down to the mailbox but before leaving the house sees his mother's statue of v**... Mary and suddenly feels guilty because he wont be able to avoid sin for that long. Defeated he heads back upstairs.
So he sits down and writes Jesus another letter .." Dear Jesus, if you give me a bike I wont sin for 6 months.."
He walks down to the mailbox but before leaving the house sees the statue of v**... Mary and feels guilty again. So, he picks her up and takes her to his room. He stuffs the statue in his toy box and begins drafting another letter.
"Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again, give me a bike.."

Marry a v**...?

It's their wedding night and a r**... couple are getting ready to have s**... for the first time. As the bride is getting ready in the bathroom she tells her husband Bobby Joe to take it "easy on her, on accounts that she is a v**... and all". "BAM!!" as she hears the door on the trailer slam then watches as Bobby Joe speeds off in the truck..
Bobby Joe is completely distraught and decides to head on over to his pa's house. He bangs on the door and his pa sees that he is upset "What's wrong boy?". Bobby Joe tells his pa, "Me and Mindy Lou was getting ready to have s**... when she done told me she was a dang v**...!". Pa breathes a sigh of relief and puts his arm around his son and says "Boy, if she wasn't good enough for her own family, she aint good enough for ours".

A new priest is about to give his first sermon...

and he's really nervous about it, so he goes and asks the older priest if he can help.
"Well I'll tell you what," says the older priest, "I'll switch out the wine for a martini so you can calm your nerves before you start talking."
"Thanks Father!" says the new priest.
After the mass is over, the new priest walks over to the older priest and asks how he did.
"Well... you did a good job for the most part, except for a few things...
-Don't refer to Jesus and his followers as 'The late JC and the boys',
-Don't call the v**... Mary 'Mary the Cherry',
-The Holy Trinity is not 'Big Daddy, Junior, and The Spook',
-There's a taffy-pulling contest and St. Peter's, not a Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's,
-And the drive-through confessional is a good idea, but the sign 'toot and tell or go to h**...' has to go."

A young couple is going to have dinner...

A young couple is going to have dinner at the girl's parents' house, and after that, they plan to have s**... for the first time. The boy goes to buy a c**... from the pharmacy before going to his girlfriend's house. Obviously, as a v**..., he has no idea what he's doing. The pharmacist there sees the boy and goes to give him help. Soon they have been talking for over an hour as to which condoms are best. The boy buys a c**... and thanks the pharmacist for all of his help.
The boy then goes off to his girlfriend's house for dinner. He says hi to the father and mother, but quickly suggests they say Grace. Even after the father as finished saying Grace, the young boy keeps his head down, first for a minute, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, and then a half-hour has gone by. The girl leans over to the boy and whispers "You never told me you were so religious" and the boy responds "You never told me your dad was a pharmacist"

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes.
Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes.
Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a v**...."
Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."

A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it. He writes a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I'll be good for a whole week." He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, "I can't be good for a whole week, I'll be good for five days." He crosses that out and writes, "I'll be good for four days." Then he thinks again and says, "Can't do that." He gets down to one day and says, "I can't even be good for a day." Then in frustration, goes in his mother's room and get the statue of the v**... Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says, "Dear Jesus, if I don't get a bike for Christmas, you'll never see your mother again!"