The Best 52 Violin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Violin jokes. There are some violin saxophone jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these violin orchestra puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Violin Jokes and Puns

my pre school guitar teacher...

got in trouble for fingering A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who raped me in the mouth

The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin...

...it was a Straddlevarious :(

practicing with the violin

A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.

"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.

"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"

Violin joke, practicing with the violin

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

Why couldn't Handel buy a new violin?

Because he was Baroque.


How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They can't get up that high!

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Violin joke, How did the violinist learn to play violin?

whats the difference betweens a violin and a fiddle?

A violin has strings and a fiddle has strangs.

I was going to record a video of me playing the violin but...

I didn't want to fiddle with the camera

At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...

... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"

"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."

Today I popped a G string while fingering a minor.

I'm going to the violin repair shop tomorrow.

You can explore violin tuner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean violin tempo dad jokes. There are also violin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My girlfriend played the cello and I loved it. But recently she gave up the cello and took up the violin, so I had to break up with her.

Because I'm all about that bass, no treble.

How many violinists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5: 1 to screw it in, and the other 4 to brag about how they could have done it better.

A man breaks his foot and goes to the doctor...

The doctor put a cast on the foot and told the man to take it easy. The man asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play violin?"
Confused, the doctor replied, "Yes, you should be able to play the violin."

The man said, "Neat! I've never been able to play it before!"

A girl asked if I play any Indian instruments.

I told her I play mandolin, violin and cello. Close, but no sitar.

The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...

The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.

Violin joke, The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...

I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin...

she said it's kinda fiddely.

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets


With me, making love is like a Beethoven violin sonata

Two quick movements with a bit of fiddling in the middle.

How do depressed people play the violin?

With a razor and their wrist.

After a concert, one violin said to another...

"They played us, Jim, they played us like a fiddle!"

What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

How do you keep a violin from getting stolen?

Put it in a viola case.

What's an emo's favorite musical instrument?

The forearm violin.

Making love to a woman is like playing the violin.

You're not doing it right unless your jaw hurts.

Making love to a woman is like a Ram playing a violin...

He may not be very good at it, but it's still better than ewe

How do you get 2 violinists to play in unison?

Shoot one.

What did the violin say to the music box?

Congratulations, you played yourself.

Making love to a woman is like playing the violin...

If you break the G-string, you're probably fingering too hard.

What did the violin say to the other violin?

Chello!!!

So I went to this concert with my wife

And I recognized one of the violin players from my highschool marching band. He played fine, but not outstanding. My wife also recognized him. So after the concert we decided to say hi.

"Has anyone told you that you were the best violin player in the world?"

My friend was quite surprised from my wife's comment and also quite pleased. But before he could reply my wife continued.

"Ever wonder why?"

I have a violin and a painting made by Stradivarius and Rembrandt, the dealer said they were worthless...

Unfortunately Rembrandt made poor violins, and Stradivarius was no painter.

Little Johnny was practising the violin

Little Johnny was practising the violin in the living room, while his father was trying to read. The family dog was there too, and, on hearing the screeching sounds, began to howl. Johnny's father listened to the dog and the violin for as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his newspaper on the floor and yelled, "For God's sake Johnny, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"

When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying

It's must be too highly strung

When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying

But I later learnt it's my neighbour.

Pawnshop wisdom

I asked a friend of mine to appraise my grandfather's violin, seeing that he runs a pawnbrokers shop. "Old fiddles aren't worth much nowadays," he told me.

"What makes it a fiddle, and not a violin?" I asked him.

"Simple," he explained, "If I'm buying it from you, it's a fiddle. If you're buying it from me, it's a violin."

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?

Because it leads to domestic violins.

(From my 9 year old...)

What did the violin say to his big brother?

Cello.

A tourist in New York wants to visit Carnegie Hall, so he's walking down the street trying to find it.

He sees a musician carrying a violin case going the opposite way. He stops him and asks: "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?"

Without missing a beat, the musician replies, "Practice, practice, practice."

My daughter was having problems with her G string and didn't want her daddy's help sorting it out.

Good thing I'm learning violin too and could help.

Whats the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can't violin with yourself.

A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin

Now he is quite Baroque.

A little girl goes to the violin teacher

When she opens the violin case, there is no violin but a tommy gun in it. The teacher is shocked, but the little girl is just giggling.

What so funny about this? the teacher askes her terrified.

You see, now my father is trying to rob the bank with a violin!

I slapped my violin out of anger

I got arrested for domestic violins

The violinists in an orchestra don't do much

They just fiddle around

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can't violin with your balls

What did the mobster say before he died?

Who put this violin, in my violin case?

During this period of the pandemic, a group of extraordinarily thin people came together to form a band.

It was a massive success. They were the best in their fields. The violin, oh so melodious! The synth on point everytime. The acoustics, superb.

One time they were offered to perform a virtual concert. All the tickets sold out.

But when the time came for them to perform, they couldn't connect to the internet.

They did not have enough bandwidth.

I found an old violin and a painting in the attic.

The antique dealer said, "The good news is you've got a Stradivarius and a Picasso. The bad news is Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Picasso made crap violins."

Practicing

Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room while his Uncle was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Johnny's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. His uncle listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For hells sake, Johnny, can't you play something this damn dog doesn't know?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the violin banjo jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working violin harpsichord piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes