The Best 21 Violently Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Violently jokes. There are some violently shudder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these violently badly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Violently Jokes and Puns

Driving Home Drunk

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.

It was my manager's fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.

Violently joke, I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.

Some of my friends make The Offspring puns, some of them violently hate them

I guess I gotta keep em separated

Deaf people are violently protesting because

They don't feel their voices are being heard


The problem with the American two-party system is that everyone agrees one political party is stupid and the other party is evil

But they violently disagree about which one is which.

Last year my father had a major stroke.

I walked into his room and was mortified as I saw him froth and violently convulse. His personality changed dramatically, he was never the same after being caught masturbating.

Violently joke, Last year my father had a major stroke.

A midget wearing a turban is walking down the street

He starts coughing violently and so someone asks if he is ok. He gets back and then says "I'm fine, I'm just a little Sikh."

How can you tell the ocean was mad?

It was violently waving

Petting Zoo

A woman at a petting zoo bent down to pet a pony. She began to cough violently. A man came over to her an asked her to leave. She said,"What? It's no big deal! I'm just feeling a little hoarse!"

Just wanted to share an old joke I read a long time back.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson once go camping. In the middle of the night, Watson is woken up violently by Sherlock. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." "The stars are shining so beautifully tonight." To which Sherlock replies,"No, you idiot! Our tent's been stolen."

You can explore violently viciously reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean violently severely dad jokes. There are also violently puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do laxatives always say they 'Work gently, over night?'

What if I want something that works violently right now?!?

A group of rebellious, man eating salads violently take over and begin eating all humans

A final group of survivors are hiding in a church and a little boy says to the priest

"Father, there are too many of them, what are we going to do? What will become of us?"

The priest says to the boy:

"Lettuce prey"

A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.

He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You dummy," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"

What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common?

It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick.

What is it called when a stoner falls down and starts shaking violently?

A T.H.Seizure

Violently joke, What is it called when a stoner falls down and starts shaking violently?

After putting it in my mouth, moving it all over it and tasting it I just spitted it out violently, I never liked to swallow it.

Man, this toothpaste is so refreshing.

Back in the day I thought adopting a baby was like buying a mattress

You know, go to the store, test out the product, shake the baby violently a couple of times.

George Carlin:"Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"

"What if I want something that works violently right now?"


Help stop domestic violence...

Each year, 1 in 5 people are violently domesticated

An Italian soccer player walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar. He says: *Ouch* .
An Italian soccer player walks into a bar. He **SCREAMS IN PAIN, CLUTCHING HIMSELF IN AGONY YELLS AT PEOPLE NEARBY AT RANDOM TO CALL THE POLICE, CONTINUES SCREAMING FOR MINUTES ON END, UNTIL HE FINALLY FAINTS VIOLENTLY.**

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the violently profanities jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working violently tissue piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes