Violence Jokes
120 violence jokes and hilarious violence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about violence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the dangerous implications of violence jokes, which often normalize ruthless behaviour. With insights into violence in the domestic, workplace, and societal contexts, this article delves into the effects of violent-themed humour and explains how it leads to brutality and malignance.
Funniest Violence Short Jokes
Short violence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The violence humour may include short violent jokes also.
- There was a fight between a blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
- My Dad Is A Magician He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.
- If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence. In the country it's called sibling rivalry.
- I think it’s true that the TV can lead to violence, says Etienne.
What makes you say that? Asks his friend.
Well, every time I turn it on, my french father shouts at me. - A little girl in charlottesville cries after the violence she's seen, I try to comfort her: "There there... it's alt right"
- A boy who couldn't hear, smell, taste or feel punched me in the head yesterday. I told him "there was no need for senseless violence"
- A gorilla ask the zookeeper if he has heard about the escaped gorilla The zookeeper says no. The gorilla replies, that's because I'm a quiet gorilla
*muffled gorilla violence* - Why dont people from abusive families report the violence? Because first rule of fight club is not to talk about the fight club
- We are really concerned with what's going on South of the Border with all the drugs gun violence and now this new Dictatorship I am Canadian
- Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas. I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic.
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Violence One Liners
Which violence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with violence? I can suggest the ones about cruelty and warfare.
- (OC) What do you call helen keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
- Did you hear about the food fight at the Chinese buffet? It was wanton violence.
- Apparently mime on mime violence is a real problem, you just don't hear about it.
- Gandhi once got into a food fight... It was naan violence.
- What do you call a threat of violence posted on a bulletin board? Under a tack.
- I like my vehicles just like my violence Domestic
- Why is there no gang violence on the space station? Because it is a zero G environment.
- What do you call two digital artists in a fight? Graphic Violence
- What's the difference between Martial and Marital? Whether the violence is domestic.
- I like my beer the same way I like my violence Domestic
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Domestic violence.
- Why is the movie about the early Germanic people rated r It contains Saxon violence.
- Why was Gandhi an advocate of naan violence? Because Hindus hate beef
- Thanks to online schools... Education is reducing gun violence!
- I like my beer like I like my violence... BYpJTj5X
Domestic Violence Jokes
Here is a list of funny domestic violence jokes and even better domestic violence puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just came from a domestic violence awareness concert... ...headlined by the Black Eyed Peas
- My dad had this great magic trick he'd show us every night He'd turn a full bottle of jagermeister into domestic violence
- My dad was a magician, but he also was abusive He liked to turn 12 packs into domestic violence
- Have you heard about the electric robot from Japan which is supposed to prevent domestic violence? Batteries included.
- There is nothing funny about watching domestic violence Which is why it goes in the 'Action' folder instead of 'Comedy'
- My Australian friend hit a sheep in his car the other day... ...I told him it doesn't matter where it happens, domestic violence is not okay.
- How many wife- beaters does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. So how come I gotta do everything around here?
(I don't actually condone domestic violence) - More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever If you can't beat em, join em
- When I was little my dad always did this one magic trick. He turned a bottle of bourbon into domestic violence
- What happens when strength meets beauty? Domestic violence
Laughter Violence Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about violence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean police brutality jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make violence pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an...
...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages s**... b**... and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about..
Did you hear about the indian man who was charged with domestic violence, he hit his wife on the head every night at 7 on the dot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...
David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.
We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.
Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.
What's the leading cause of violence in America?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, m**..., decapitation, gore, s**..., gay s**..., midget s**..., prostitution, r**..., paedophilia, i**... and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh so you're still on the first episode then?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
ISIS and I have something in common...
We both get head through the use of violence and t**......
Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech praising non-violence in India surprised everyone
when they pelted him with several thousand flatbreads.
I can't believe all of this violence and rioting is happening...
... all because Craig Ferguson is leaving his show.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with i**... immigrants crossing their southern border...
I guess they became Americans after all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Confucius Say
It is only when a mosquito lands on your t**... that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.
SNL Gold: Domestic Violence
A local county couple had an argument over a jar of salsa, which resulted in the girlfriend stabbing her boyfriend. But hey, you'd be mad too if he was jalpeno business.
Grand Theft Auto 6 just announced. Already criticized for displaying "excessive and gratuitous violence towards pedestrians".
Apparently your character is just a normal on-duty cop.
Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight.
It was a pretty brazen act of violence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This joke contains no n**..., no s**... acts, no alkohol drinking, no cheating, violence, bad language or anything provocative. It's so safe,
its a joke.
What is the difference between a hyper-active gamer and someone with a predilection of violence towards sheep?
One's a button masher, and the other is a mutton basher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just finished my s**... Violence Prevention and Awareness Training. It was very informative and I feel much safer.
Plus I totally r**... the quiz at the end, 100%.
There's a new movie about violence during the Ramadan
It's called the Fast and the Furious
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Its sad...
Its sad that Wile E. coyote is remembered for his violence instead of his brilliant paintings of tunnels
What's the difference between domestic violence and Coca Cola?
You can feel the beating, but you can't beat the feeling.
If the wasp hadn't of stung me I wouldn't have killed it.
The lesson learned is that violence bee gets violence.
Not all French departments saw violence during the first World War
But Somme did.
What do you call violence in the kitchen?
Assault and pepper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"
\- Canada
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For my next trick
I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Bible is a fascinating book
It's fascinating how a book with so much s**... and violence can be so boring
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Going To The Movies
I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire p**... with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.
Crime And Violence
When I think about it, we are the ones to blame for all the crime and violence we have today, after all, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to get changed.
I was at a nightclub with a popular friend.
He said, "Would you like to see the DJ's box?"
I said, "No, thanks. I don't condone violence."
What keyboard shortcut can be used to stop recent senseless violence from continuing?
CTRL-ALT-Right
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a Muslim beats his wife,
would it be domestic violence or child a**...?
Watching TV is a nightmare nowadays. Violence, fighting, cursing, swearing.
And that's just to get the remote.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've had a good couple of days,
I've just got back from winning the World Domestic Violence Championship.
I knocked my daughter out in the semis and beat my wife in the final.
Yesterday I entered the world blindfolded w**... championship.
I have no idea where I came though.
What do you call alcohol-induced violence?
Brew-tality
Gamers say video games don't encourage violence.
Yet this new Star Wars Battlefront has got everyone wielding pitchforks.
If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.
No, they'd be *way* higher.
What kind of protests do flatbreads organize?
Naan-violence
Growing up, my mother didn't like tattletales,
but she was also against violence. In our house, snitches washed dishes.
Did you hear about the assassin with no nose?
He retired. Couldn't handle the scentless violence.
In these troubling political times with gun violence peaking, human rights scandals on us soil, and ongoing corruption investigations, it's always important to find the silver lining in things...
International Relations with Russia have never been better!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the r**... magician?
He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.
When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike
People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.
What does someone with a history or violence who digs up coal, and an 11 year old who swears at you during online hames have in common?
They're both offensive minors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you mix Adolf h**... and domestic violence?
Adolf *Hit-Her*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Below our Southern border is filled with chaos, violence, and corruption. The government is in shambles and the people are always fighting amongst themselves.
Thank god I live in Canada.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's not until a mosquito lands on your g**......
That you realize that not everything can be solved with violence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
South of the border
You know what, I don't care what people say but south of the border there is the country with senseless violence, looting, drugs etc. that I would not dare to touch with a ten feet pole!
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.
.
.
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I am so happy I live in Canada!
Why did the police attack the peaceful demonstration for Elijah McClain?
They were told to fight violins with violence.
I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.
Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the b**... to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
