Vintage Jokes
28 vintage jokes and hilarious vintage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vintage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring nostalgia to life with these hilarious vintage-themed jokes from the golden age. From vintage cars to vintage Playboy jokes and even jokes about vintage dolls and antique drawbridges, you'll find something to make you chuckle. Get all the fun of a vintage Christmas dinner, without the housewives!
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Funniest Vintage Short Jokes
Short vintage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vintage humour may include short antique jokes also.
- When I die, I'm leaving my vintage meme collection to my son. My will will simply say you're the man now, dog
- Heard a vintage 2011 today. The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". Two shots to the face and a splash of water.
- A girl told me she loved vintage once... So I locked her in the kitchen and told her she couldn't vote
- I got a pretty sweet deal at a music shop for a vintage guitar Should've known it came with strings attached
- eBay is great for finding rare items, but there is a lot of bad search results that come with it For example, I did a search for "Vintage Zippo Lighters" and I got 10,000 matches.
- My new Rolls Royce I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce, but the budget didn't cover a driver.
So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it. - Bought a vintage Energizer Bunny but accidentally put its batteries in backwards... Now it keeps coming and coming and...
- I met a wine maker that wouldn't give my money back when I told him he'd given me the wrong vintage. It was the vintner of my discontent
- Seems like authorities are reporting a plane has exploded carrying vintage 80s Japanese cars ... It's raining Datsun cogs
- Did you hear about the vintage attaché with a perfectly working clasp? It was a classic open-and-shut case.
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Vintage One Liners
Which vintage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vintage? I can suggest the ones about old fashioned and old classic.
- I saw an ad for a vintage French military rifle today Never fired, dropped once
- I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
- I found a vintage Altoids box from the 60s in my attic, it was in mint condition
- I don't feel comfortable wearing shirts with vintage dots on In retro specked...
- I like my cars like I like my women Vintage and waxed.
- Are you a 1950's vintage hotdog toy? 'Cause you make my w**... whistle
Comedy Vintage Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about vintage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean old style jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vintage pranks.
vintage Bush joke
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.
I sprinkled some more over the bed.
I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.
I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she's ever had, I was slightly nervous.
Now all I need is the perfect line to introduce myself.
"Fifty Shades of Grey" gives its readers unrealistic expectations.
It makes them think that Vintage Books will publish anything that gets sent to them.
I bought a mint condition vintage HiFi system
My wife said it's a waste of money, but I think it's a sound investment.
Next Episode On h**... Kitchen...
"Is the wine divine or vintage?"
"D-divine chef."
"Jesus Christ..."
"Yes, probably."
Why do promiscuous women like vintage German men?
They like to be stretched thin on both fronts.
I got fired from my job by a jealous manager for breaking too many records.
I'm guessing that the vintage music industry is just not for me...
