Vine Jokes

50 vine jokes and hilarious vine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tired of the same old jokes? Check out our hilarious collection of Vine Jokes, featuring hilarious quips about grape vines, watermelon vines, vineyards, Pinot Noir, and copyright infringement. Whether you're looking for a laugh or just seeking some comic relief, these vine jokes are sure to put a smile on your face.

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Funniest Vine Short Jokes

Short vine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vine humour may include short vent jokes also.

  1. I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays last week... I won't be doing that again.
  2. Famous Last Words List your favorite ones. The one I liked the most when I was growing up:
    Tarzan: "Who greased the vine?"
  3. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.
  4. My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'.
  5. I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said 'how flexible are you?'
    I said 'I can't make Wednesdays.'
  6. So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."
  7. A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!
  8. Vine is shutting down I might actually make more in a year than a vine star does in a week.
  9. I saw a street performer playing Dancing Queen on a Didgeridoo yesterday... And I thought, that's ABBAriginal.
  10. So I said to this bloke "I'm gonna open a shop in Saudi Arabia" He said "*Dubai?*", and I said, "*yep, and sell*".

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Vine One Liners

Which vine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vine? I can suggest the ones about vice and deer.

  1. What does Tarzan falling to his death have in common with Millenials? I miss Vine.
  2. I took part in the sun tanning Olympics. I just got Bronze.
  3. I told my girlfriend to make a sextape together. She agreed. It became a vine
  4. I've decided to sell my hoover... well, it was just collecting dust.
  5. Why does Tarzan travel by vine? Because he can't drive a stick.
  6. I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery
  7. Remember Vine? It's ok if you don't It lasted about six seconds
  8. Crime in lifts. Its wrong on so many levels
  9. I threw out my old vacuum cleaner today... It was just gathering dust.
  10. What kind of apes can you find swinging on vines? GrApes
  11. A grape falls off a vine and dries... Everything happens for a raisin.
  12. Why were Helen Keller's hands purple... ... because she heard it through the grape vine.
  13. ^Lizard ^^lizard^^^lizard Is there a gecko in here?
  14. If you made a viral video of a cow... It'd be called a bo-Vine.
  15. Ajit Pai walks out of a bar.. With no drinks. He ordered a lesser known brand of vine.

Tim Vine Jokes

Here is a list of funny tim vine jokes and even better tim vine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man asked me for a lift the other day. As I drove away I called back to him, 'Go for it, the world's your oyster!'

Grape Vine Jokes

Here is a list of funny grape vine jokes and even better grape vine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape. It looks over, gasps, and says "BREATHE!"
Vine joke, A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape

Vine joke, A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape

Laughter Vine Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about vine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vine pranks.

I tried uploading my s**... tape to PornHub.

They told me to try Vine.

I thought about making a s**... tape the other day...

...until I realized it would just be a Vine.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Drunk r**..., "Send help, my buddy just fell and hit his head on the sidewalk. He's bleed'n like a stuck hog!"
911, "Okay sir, what's your location?"
Drunk r**..., "We're at the corner of Sycamore and Vine."
911, "Okay sir, I'm going to need you to spell that for me. "
Drunk r**..., "Si.....Sy...ah! screw it! I'll drag him on down to Maple you can pick him up there!"

You're so bad in bed that...

Your s**... tape would be a vine.

One day, Tarzan is swinging through the jungle on his favourite vine when he crashes into a monkey swinging in the other direction.

They both land safely on a tree limb below, but when Tarzan looks up, there is only one vine hanging above them. Next to it, there is only a very thin branch.
"Were you swinging on that thing?" asks Tarzan.
"Yes," replies the monkey.
Tarzan is amazed. "How do you do that?"
The monkey rolls his eyes. "Am I the only one in this whole jungle who knows how to drive a stick?"

If you don't like vinegar, but you use it anyway...

You'll have...... vinaigrette.

My girlfriend and I decided to make a s**... tape.

But I came too quickly so we made a Vine.
(Saw something similar in a meme so I can't take the credit)

If h**... made a YouTube video, what would it be called?

Vine Comp.

Why are the youtubers who came from vine, much funnier on vine?

Because you only had to see them for six seconds.

Vine-famous man Deez Nuts has found never-before-seen nuts fall from a tree, and has been given the rights to name it

He calls it the Eucalyptus Nuts

How Tarzan's famous yell was invented.

Tarzan was swing through the jungle one day when he spotted Jane.
He hollered, "Jane! Grab vine!"
And he swung down to swoop her up.

Some Tim Vine jokes...

"I tell you what makes my blood boil..... Crematoriums."
"People with guns who say give me your money... you gotta hand it to them."
"So I went to my local department store and said I cant decide whether to buy this bed or not. He said do you want to sleep on it? I said of course I do."
"I refuse to work in the subway. Its beneath me."
"I met this girl called Ena. Everytime I see her I say Hi Ena and she laughs her head off."
"I cant remember my homing pigeon's name but am sure it will come back to me."
"Did you know the best selling DVD this year is Poltergeist? Its flying off the shelves."
"So i was reading this book about the history of glue.... I couldn't put it down."

"May I have some vinegar?"

"Sorry, we don't serve racists here."

I don't like vinegar.

It's racist.

Why do women like YouTube better than Vine?

Six seconds isn't enough

My dad said cant you see your meme and vine references are ruining this family!

So I said I can't see I'm legally blind.

Why do you cut an ivy?

You do it for the vine

Mom, what does hypocrisy mean?

- Best Dank Memes Vine Compilation

What would be Tarzan's best school of magic as a wizard?

The vine magic

Why were the German tomatoes drunk?

Because they'd been on the vine.

Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......


Vine signs a deal with Usian Bolt. All his races can now be seen for free exclusively on Vine.

Vine joke, A green grape is on a vine next to a purple grape

jokes about vine