Viking Jokes
72 viking jokes and hilarious viking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about viking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready to have a good chuckle? This article has a selection of jokes about Vikings, their football team, their Packer team, and even a few Thor jokes! Get ready to have a good time decorating with these Viking-themed cartoons, a perfect touch for your next birthday celebration!
Funniest Viking Short Jokes
Short viking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The viking humour may include short norse gods jokes also.
- How do viking ships communicate with each other? Norse code
I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up - Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color? If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!
- Ninja Joke Can a viking throw an axe?
Sure he can.
Can a cowboy throw a lasso?
Sure he can.
Can a ninja throw a spinning blade?
Shuriken. - My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death "Jokes on you" I said "if I die in battle I'll go straight to Valhalla"
- What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers? The poor norsemen of the necropolis
- An old Viking teaching young ones Once we land and enter a vilage, look for a church. If there is a church there is nothing left to pillage in the village, so just go directly to the church.
- There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation. He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again.
- What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation? "I'm in it for the longhall."
- Did you know that most of the Viking raiders were children? Because it takes a child to raze a village.
- [OC] My friends and I are starting a disco group. We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador. We call ourselves... The Pillage People.
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Viking One Liners
Which viking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with viking? I can suggest the ones about norwegian swede and fjord.
- If a Viking discovers religion Is he Bjorn again?
- Where does a Viking clown go when they die? To ValHaHa.
- The Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar To watch the Super Bowl
- What do you call a plant eating Viking? A Norvegan
- What is a Viking's favorite car? …….a Fjord Explorer.
- What stories did Vikings tell their children? Norsery Rhymes
- What is a vegan Viking called? A Norvegan
- What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair? Barberians.
- Why are norwegian women so hot? The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones!
- Did you hear the one about the Viking who was reincarnated? He was Bjorn again.
- what do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders Biking
- What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings? Norse Korea
- How do Vikings treat itchy red eyes? Tyr drops
- Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated? He was Bjorn again.
- It might take a village to raise a child... but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Viking Packer Jokes
Here is a list of funny viking packer jokes and even better viking packer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Viking and Packer fans have in common? They are both Cousins lovers.
Share Hilarious Viking Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about viking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sailor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make viking pranks.
What do you call a Viking pop band with a big gay following?
The Pillage People.
How did Viking ships communicate?
Norse code.
A Viking explorer came home to find that his name was missing from the town register.
His family complained to the town officials, one of whom said, "I'm so sorry! I must have taken Leif off my census."
Did you hear about the Buddhist Viking?
He believed he'd be Bjorn again
Vikings kicker Blair Walsh apparently attempted s**... last night.
He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him.
[groaner] Have you guys seen Viking Wars?
It stars Harrison Fjord.
One night a Viking
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "Its going to rain"
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth
How did Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code!
Where does a muslim viking go after death
Valhalal
A Viking is arguing with his wife
"It's definitely hail" says Gertha
"No, it's rain!" Says Rudolf
"No, it's round and hard, it's hail!" She retorts.
Getting very flustered now, Rudolf shouts "Look! Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying…..
"I must have taken Leif off my census."
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What language did the Viking secret service use to communicate in secret?
Norse code.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking
A nor-vegan!
What do you call a dead Viking?
A Viked.
What did the Viking say when hanging out his laundry?
"Today is a good day to dry."
Rudolph the Red
There once was a young Viking named Rudolph the Red and his wife Freydis. Freydis decided to have a walk with her husband, but when she told him of her plans he took one look at the sky grunted and said it was going to rain. Freydis was confused a there were no clouds in the sky. Later on in the day when it was pouring down rain she asked her husband how he knew which he replied with Ruldolph the Red knows rain dear.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
I've decided to join Anytime Fitness
Because I like to dress up as a 12th century Viking Warrior when I work out.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What did the eagle say to the viking after the hunting trip?
Sorry, but this time there's no trophy for your trophy case, Keenum!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
... they know they'll be Bjørn again.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window
When he said it's going to rain
His wife asked How do you know?
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
A Knight, a Samurai, and a Viking are lost in a desert.
They see someone in the distance, and as they draw closer, they realise it's a buck n**... woman in a crusader's helmet with a samurai sword on her back.
The knight exclaims, "Look at her helm. Surely she is of my people! "
The samurai says "Nay! See the sword. She is obviously from Japan!"
The Viking shakes his head and says " No! She is in truth a Viking! Behold the beard of Thor!"
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
If a Viking is reincarnated
Is he Bjorn again?
Dwayne Johnson and his friend went out to buy oars for a big Viking boat.
The oar salesman said vou can either pay 9.99$ per oar or if you buy six at once, it's only 5.00$ per oar
SO Johnson's friend said Rock, pay per six oars
