View Jokes
172 view jokes and hilarious view puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about view that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring a smile to your face with the best view jokes! From Google street view to birds-eye view, laugh at funny points of view and vistas. Whether near the sea or along the street, get a picture-perfect view of hilarity with these jokes!
Quick Jump To
- Short View Jokes
- View One Liners
- Rear View Jokes
- Rear View Mirror Jokes
- Point Of View Jokes
- Point View Jokes
- Nice View Jokes
- More View Jokes
Funniest View Short Jokes
Short view jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The view humour may include short vision jokes also.
- My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
- My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
- Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships Apparently "in HD" wasn't the right answer
- I really wanted to watch the International origami Championships tonight. Sadly, it's only on paper view.
- So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships. In Hd was not the correct answer.
- Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.
- If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality... I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.
- My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm.
- Today, my teacher asked me how I view lesbian relationships Apparently, in Full HD was not the right answer
- What do alcoholics and chemists have in common? They both view alcohol as a solution.
I'll see my self out......
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View One Liners
Which view one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with view? I can suggest the ones about peek and display.
- Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battlefield
- Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? So that they can watch the battle.
- Thought I saw God in my rear-view mirror yesterday... Turns out it was just a dog.
- What is one thing that both Australians & Americans share the same view on? 1961
- I was recently asked how I view lesibians. Apparently in HD isn't the right answer.
- Did you see the reviews for the restaurant on the moon? Great view, but no atmosphere.
- Why do fishermen get so many views on YouTube? Clickbait
- What's the atheist's view on God? Nahweh.
- I wanted to watch the world Origami Championship on TV. But it was only on paper view
- Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships. So I said in full HD.
- What do you call a cushion with transcendentalist views? A Thoreau pillow.
- Why do Flat-earthers deny science? Because it challenges their world view.
- Have you heard about that new TV program about origami? It's paper view...
- I got asked how i view lesbian relationships Apparently in HD wasnt the right answer
- Why do French tanks come equipped with rear view mirrors? So they can see the battle.
Rear View Jokes
Here is a list of funny rear view jokes and even better rear view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The rear view mirror fell out of my car a couple of months ago and I have never replaced it. Haven't looked back since.
- Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors? So they can park in handicap spots.
- You know you're drunk when you've got to swerve to avoid a pine tree in the middle of the road... ...only to realize it was the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.
- Why did the Russian Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks? To see the battlefield.
- Why did Jack get hit by a sport car going in reverse during his exercise? Because the driver can't see jack squat in the rear view mirror.
- In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror.
- French tanks are the only ones in the world equipped with rear view mirrors. This is so they can see the battlefield when they are driving.
- I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror. I know my wife would never think to look there.
- Red white and blue stand for freedom Right up until you see them flashing in your rear view mirror
- How do you look at your own backside? Using a rear-view mirror.
Rear View Mirror Jokes
Here is a list of funny rear view mirror jokes and even better rear view mirror puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A few years ago I got offered a job making rear view mirrors.. Looking back, I should've taken it.
- How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank? The rear-view mirrors
- Did you hear about the latest innovation in french tanks? Rear view mirrors so they can see the battles going on.
- I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since.
- Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? To see if they are being flanked, duh
- I have bad eyesight, so I got my car's rear-view mirror specially made. Hindsight's 20-20.
- This one has always tickled me! My father is the inventor of the rear view mirror. He means a great deal to me but looking back we're not as close as we seem!
- I kept getting blinded at night by drivers behind me, so I removed my rear view mirror. Since then, I've never looked back.
Courtesy of /u/TruthSpeaker - Clinging on to past and living is like driving forward while watching the rear view mirror...
- Do you know why my Dad hangs a hat from his rear view mirror? To prove he has a handicap.
Point Of View Jokes
Here is a list of funny point of view jokes and even better point of view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got into an argument with a blind man. He just couldn't see my point of view.
- A had an argument with a witch, and she ended up hexing me. I can see her point of view though, there are always six sides to any story.
- How is a presidential debate like the show The View? Both have a couple of idiots talking over each other and not making a point.
- Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours...
- In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman. According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
- Guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but saran wrap Dr. says: from my point of view, I can clearly see your nuts.
- pollution levels have come down so drastically That my wife is now seeing things from my point of view!
- CMV: Opinions are not easily swayed, so there is no point in trying to do so. Change my view.
- I was going to adopt a nihilistic world view, But there was no point.
- Today the air was so clear My wife could see my point of view
Point View Jokes
Here is a list of funny point view jokes and even better point view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
- How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window.
- Have you heard of the new Daredevil game? It's going to be from his point of view.
- My wife told me to look at things from her point of view... So I looked out the kitchen window.
- It's strange how getting a fever can alter your perception of balance... From my point of view the Jedi are evil.
- Why is there a window over the kitchen sink? So women can actually have a point of view.
- Tax Evasion From the company's point of view it makes cents.
- Insanity is just a point of view. After all, the world looks pretty normal through your own underpants.
- What do you call a 270 degree panoramic camera? An alt right point of view.
- My girlfriend wishes I could see things from her point of view. I do too.
Nice View Jokes
Here is a list of funny nice view jokes and even better nice view puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Canadians are always viewed as nice and polite but so help me, if they invade the US... They'll be sorry.
- My hotel room has a partial water view! I would have preferred oxygen but hydrogen is nice, too.
Laughter View Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about view you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean appearance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make view pranks.
I got fired from my Bingo Caller Job...
Apparently "A meal for two with a hairy view" is not the way you say 69.
Street Performance
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?
*because it was pay-per view.*
"paper view"
As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane
As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane. I would always sit on the isle seat and wait for the cockpit door to open. Sometime the flight attendant will get in the way and block your view, you know bend over in a s**... way sorting stuff or helping someone .so I say to her "HEY MOVE! I WANT TO SEE THE PLANES COCKPIT NOT YOURS"
Hey Guys! They brought back Angry Beavers! Isn't it great?
Its been renamed to The View, however...
An Englishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and a German...
An Englishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and a German are watching a street performer do some amazing juggling, but they don't have a good view. The street performer then moves and asks them:
"Can you guys see me now?"
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
Hint: Say out loud with respective accents.
4 different views of a tunnel
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel.
REALIST: A train.
TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer juggling. The juggler notices the four men have a very poor view, so he stands upon a large wooden box and calls out to them, "Can you see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."
(If you don't get it, read it out loud)
Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?
He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.
I like to shave in front of my car's side view mirrors every morning.
that way, I can get a closer shave than it appears.
Someone asked me how we usually view l**... in this country.
Apparently, "usually in HD" wasn't the answer he was looking for.
Turning into stone
There were two boys taking a walk through the woods. They eventually cam upon a nice calm river. While they are enjoying the view they notice a woman standing in the n**..., bathing. Immediately after seeing her one of the boys runs back through the woods. The other boy chased him and when he catches up he asks,"Why did you run away from the river?" The boy replies,"My mom said that if I stare at n**... women I will turn into stone and I felt something getting hard!"
Total Eclipse Today
I tried using a colander to view the eclipse.
I think I've strained my eyes.
A feminist asked me how I view l**...
In HD was apparently not the correct answer.
Lesbian relationships
The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "in HD" was the wrong answer.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
*noun
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.*
An accordion player walks into a bar,
orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.
Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.
He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.
Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.
A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day...
Apparently "in HD" was not an acceptable answer.
I took a Scottish girl to the countryside.
"Hello view!" she said, looking out the window of our rented house.
I said, "I love you too..."
What are your views on abortion?
I'm undecided.
On one hand, I like killing babies, on the other, I don't like giving women a choice.
Engineers' view about a glass of water!
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
My lesbian friend asked me how I view Lesbian Relationships
Apparently, in HD wasn't an appropriate answer.
Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom...
... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars.
Relaxing location
While my parents were making their f**... arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. You'll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them.
Dad wasn't sold: Unless you're including a periscope with my casket, I don't know how I'm going to enjoy it.
I was viewing a house being sold by a native american
i asked him if it came with running water,
He said 'no, get your own wife'
Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek
While Einstein is counting down from 100, Pascal runs and hides. Newton stands in pain view, and carefully measures out a meter square, then stands in it.
When Einstein turns around, he exclaims "Newton you're supposed to hide so I can't find you" . Newton replies "you found a Newton over a square meter, you found a Pascal"
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. She slapped me when I answered
I guess "In HD" is the wrong answer
Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships...
and apparently, "in HD" wasn't the correct answer.
A Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer juggle.
The juggler notices the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out can you see me now?
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja
A feminist once asked me, "What's your view on l**...?"
I said "1080p"
Just went to view a house full of mirrors.
I thought, I can really see myself living here.
I just got fired from my job as a bingo caller...
Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing...
They're watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler then sees that the 4 men have a bad view so he stands up on a big wooden box and says "can you see me now?" The 4 men respond:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"
TIL that cows, pigs, and dogs can actually talk!
It was my first time watching "The View".
What's the female equivalent of a c**...?
The View
What do a G-string and a barbed wire fence have in common?
They both run along the property line without distracting from the view.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.
The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had s**......
[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]
...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.
For all the people talking completely overblowing the net neutrality issue, I just want to say
THIS IS A PREMIUM JOKE
--------------------------
IN ORDER TO VIEW THIS JOKE
CONTACT YOUR ISP TO
UPGRADE YOUR SERVICE
Starting at just: $60.00/month
When asked how I view lesbian relationships
In High Definition apparently is not an appropriate answer.
I called my girlfriend's mini skirt a fence
Protects the property but doesn't spoil the view
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
The perk of being a test tube baby...
...is you get a w**... with a view.
Mark Zuckerberg's office has the greatest view in the Silicon Valley
A view of personal information of 2.2 billion people.
The cool thing about being a test tube baby...
You get a w**... with a view.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing in a group watching a street performer juggle.
The performer notices that the four gentleman have a very bad view of the show and gets up on a wooden box, and shouts into the crowd can you guys see me better now? He asks.
Yes
Oui
Si
Ja
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street artist perform.
The act is spectacular, but the four gentlemen are having a tough time getting a good view.
The performer, by some coincidence, notices this and stands up on a large wooden box to give them a better view. He then calls out to them "Can all of you see me now?"
They each reply:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja."
Overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space, the astronaut removed his helmet
The view was breathtaking
Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "4K ultra high definition" was not the right answer.
40 years ago today, Louise Brown became the first test tube baby...
She had a w**... with a view.
My lesbian neighbors asked how I view lesbian relationships
In HD was not the right answer
What do G-Strings and barbed wire have in common?
They both protect the property without disrupting the view.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing watching a juggler
The juggler, noticing the four have a bit of poor view, stands up on a box, then calls out to them, "Can you see me better now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
Enjoying the views...
You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?
Me: Yes, it was amazing.
You: Did you enjoy the views?
Me: Mmm...No.
You: Why?
Me: The Mountains blocked the view.
The American view of the world is too self-centered...
I mean on maps they literally label their country "US."
My teacher asked me how I view lesbian relationships...
Apparently 1080p Full Screen HD wasn't the right answer.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street performer do juggling
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street performer do juggling. The juggler notices the 4 gentlemen have a poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out " Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
What message does a quantum computer have when you view an image?
"Do you want to save changes?"
An englishman, a frenchman, a spaniard, and a german were all standing watching a street performer do some exciting juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden box and asks them, 'Can you all see me now?'
'Yes'
'Oui'
'Sí'
'Ja'
a bilingual joke (hope you like it)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.
Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?
Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the
other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.
Me: What website were they on?
Him: Google Earth Street View.
