Vietnam Jokes

Discover the various sides of Vietnam humor with these hilarious Vietnam jokes. From Army life to the Vietnam War, we've collected the funniest Vietnam flashbacks and puns. Experience the funny side of the Vietnam War with these good morning Vietnam jokes and laugh away the tension of the platoon.

Hilarious Vietnam Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

Why is six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder.

When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.

A new doctor goes to work for a year in Cambodia, where people still get maimed from landmines left over from the Vietnam War era

In his very first day in the hospital, the doctor sees a young girl in the post-operation area. She is crying, and in a panic, she says to him, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

He looks down at the young girl, and in his best bedside manner, tells her, "That's because the doctors had to amputate your arms."

Which country has the cheapest prostitutes?

Vietnam. Because over there you need 20840 dongs to make a dollar.

Not racist but this is one my brother told me

Why were most black soldiers killed in Vietnam?

Because when the Sargent yelled "everybody get down!" All the black people started dancing.

Alright I'm done.

jokes about vietnam

Have you read the news?

I was reading the news the other day and came across a story from Vietnam. There were two gentlemen working in a rice paddy when one became enraged at the other and bludgeoned him to death with a small ceramic figurine. Reports indicate that this is the first ever case of knick-knack paddy whack.

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common?

They both care way too much about the ฤแปฉc Dynasty.

Vietnam joke, What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common?

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

'Cause Charlie don't serf.

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb

YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU WERENT THERE!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE!!!

What did the Vietnamese sandwich salesman say to the unhappy mod?

Bรกnh mรฌ

Have you ever visited the area between Thailand and Vietnam?

Don't bother. It's pretty Laos-y.

You can explore vietnam vietnamese reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vietnam war dad jokes. There are also vietnam puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.

First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."

"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.

"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."

Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."

"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.

"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."

Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."

"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.

"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"

My mother went missing in Vietnam during the war...

Momma MIA!

Two Vietnamese men decided to go into business together...

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen proposition.

This Vietnamese couple I knew got married...

Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyแป…n-Nguyแป…n situation.

My Vietnamese friends just got married, but by coincidence share the same last name so there was no hassle...

It was a Nguyแป…n-Nguyแป…n situation.

Vietnam joke, My Vietnamese friends just got married, but by coincidence share the same last name so there was no

My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything.

You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

What did the Vietnamese guy text in response to the Cambodian man's hilarious joke?

LMAOS

Did you know that more black men died in Vietnam than white men?

It's all because when their sergeant would yell get down they would all start dancing.

Why do most Vietnamese people seem like male prostitutes?

Because they pay for everything with their Dongs

What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from?

Hot flashbacks

My dad, a vietnam veteran, told me that there's one thing that always sticks with kids and adults no matter how old they are.

Napalm

Why did the Vietnamese woman get a career as a prostitute?

Because she likes Dongs.

What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq?

George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

why did so many black people die in the Vietnam war?

every time the sergeant shouted GET DOWN! they all started dancing

Deep in the jungles of Vietnam...

...you don't know what's friend and what's pho

Vietnam joke, Deep in the jungles of Vietnam...

My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free...

This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.

Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam?

Every time somebody yelled, "GET DOWN!" they'd get up and dance.

They put a protective casing over the Vietnam Wall.

They're calling it the Maya Lin sheath.

A Vietnamese couple were going to have a baby.

The father was really hoping for a boy, while the mother wanted a girl.

As luck would have it, they ended up having twins -- one boy and one girl.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

Why was Donald Trump banned from entering Vietnam?

They didn't want any more experiences with Agent Orange.

During the Vietnam war, if you reported one communist...

You would win one thousand dollars.
If you reported 2 communists, you would win 2 thousands dollars.
If you reported 3 communists, you would go to jail because you knew too many communists.

My grandfather killed 13 men in Vietnam.

In 2009.

"Name one person that could beat Captain America"

Captain Vietnam

A Vietnamese couple met on Match.com and it turns out they complement each other perfectly

You might say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation

Which Marvel character can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam.

What do you call a Vietnam war hero with a new apartment?

New tenant Dan

What happens when two Vietnamese people help each other out?

You have a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.

The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.

Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.

Which superhero can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam

Who can beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam.

[OC] Trump's Asia visit takes him to Vietnam today, which is a good thing...

Because if you've been in 'Nam, you can never really come back home.

I recently took a vacation in Vietnam and it was just okay.

It had its pros and congs.

In Vietnam, what do you call a situation where both parties benefit?

Nguyen Nguyen situation

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker's favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was never the same after Vietnam.

Went to a Bukkake party in Vietnam last night.

Only 100 dong.

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

My Vietnamese coworker slipped and fell in a puddle of oil.

I was going to make a racist joke about it but decided against it, because that's a slippery slope.

My Vietnamese friends got married recently...

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

My grandfather, who served in Vietnam, asked me what sticks to young and old people alike:

Apparently napalm wasn't the answer.

John McCain, John Kerry, and Dnald Trump walk into a bar...

John McCain, John Kerry, and Dnald Trump walk into a bar. While there, Kerry tells a joke about Vietnam. As soon as he finishes, McCain and Kerry start laughing uncontrollably, but Trump remains silent.

After a minute, Trump says: "I don't think that was funny." To which McCain replies, "I guess you had to be there."

My granddad went to Vietnam and singlehandedly fought and injured 30 North Vietnamese.

Next year, we are vacationing somewhere else.

My brother just came back from Vietnam. I asked him how was it, and he said the country is vulgar.

Everywhere was 'Phuc' this and 'Phuc' that.

"Pity about your boys coming in fourth in the world Cup!" joked Trump to Theresa May.

"Yeah..." she replied. "Pity about your boys coming second in Vietnam. Oh, you weren't there, were you?"

Back in Vietnam

A man sees husband and wife walking, the man is on the front with a bike and behind him comes the wife pulling wagons with all of their belongings.

The man asks the husband, why this way.

The man replies: "tradition"

The next day the man sees this couple again walking down the road. But this time the man is walking behind the wife

The man asks: "What happened to tradition?"

"Landmines" husband replies

If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line

It's basically a big pho queue

A Vietnamese American woman, Christine Nguyen, wanted to preserve her surname.

Christine Nguyen, wanted to keep her surname after marriage, so she resolved to not take on the surname of the man she married, or change her name to a double barrel name that included her family's name.

โ€‹

Luckily, the man she ended up marrying was also Vietnamese American too, who just happened to have the same surname: Nguyen.

โ€‹

It was a win-win situation.

Son, I killed 15 people in Vietnam

Dad, you're 42.

A vietnamese contract killer named Pung burst into a bar and promptly murdered the 10 people inside.

Pung in, ten dead.

I'm Vietnamese and if I got a nickel for every time someone asked me if I do nails...

I wouldn't have to do nails anymore.

If Trump had actually served in Vietnam...

He would've fought at the Battle of Hamberder Hill

What can be said for Vietnamese soilders and takeout food?

They never make it home

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you're having pho.

The most common name in Vietnam can be used as both a first and a last name

I guess for them, it's a Nguyen Nguyen situation

How do you know if an old guy fought in Vietnam?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

A new Vietnamese restaurant opened across from another, and the owners have been throwing competitive deals all week.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hot dogs to teenagers!

You've got both your legs, Frank

Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.

-Mitch Hedberg (That 70's Show)

What's the difference between the China Virus and the Vietnam War?

Trump dodged the Vietnam War.

America won the war against COVID the same way they won the war against Vietnam

It got too expensive and they just declared it was over.

I'm getting one of the first covid shots

I got choosen to receive one of the first covid vaccines shots. Since I'm 78yo old Vietnam veteran. I said, "Can I get it in my left arm". They said sure. I said Well good, it got blown off in Vietnam in 68, can you bring me back my West Point ring while your over there.




Edit for grammar.

If two Vietnamese get married,

It's usually a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

My dad says we shouldn't reward people with trophies for participation, because it's like a reward for losing.

So I took his Vietnam Veteran hat

A son returns from the Vietnam war.

His father clapped him on the back and told him he is a very fortunate son.

Mustve been a lot of sick animals in Vietnam

Just look at how many Vietnam vets there are!

My Vietnamese friend killed two birds with one stone

I guess that's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation

So I went to this Vietnamese Resturaunt

...when I saw some patrons stomp out angrily muttering about someone being rude.ย  It smelled so good I was undeterred.ย  There was a soup station where they put it all together in front of you.ย  I asked the host how.it worked and he pointed and said "pho queue over there"

My two Vietnamese friends were fighting but they made up

It's a Nguyen Nguyen situation

A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him

'Father, father look' , the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly ' The Americans have gone to the moon '.

The farmer drops his plough and asks excitedly ;

'All of them'

'No just 3', replies the kid

'Damn it'

The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.

Two vietnamese brothers asked me to invest in their business

I jumped at the opportunity. It seemed like a Nguyen/Nguyen situation

Do you know who could beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb? Do you know? No?

That's because YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!

The Age Factor

(Taken from Reader's Digest Year:1998)

Even though she's been teaching English for 25 years, my mother never felt her age was an issue, until the day she helped a student with a report on the Vietnam War. Mom recognised the name of a war correspondent mentioned in the textbook and blurted, "I used to date him!"
Peering up from his work, another wide-eyed student asked, "You dated someone from our history book?"

I have a friend from Vietnam I talk to every Friday night

I got to know him really well, he was fascinated with America and had really good English (and a good sense of humor) he told me I don't know what that American Dream is, but I know the European Dream is no America.

Name one superhero that can beat Captain America...

Captain Vietnam

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vietnam paratrooper puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vietnam cambodia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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