video game Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious video game puns

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).


My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much...

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.


What's a Communist's favorite video game?

*Don't Starve*


What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft.


Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house


My sex life is like a video game

Single Player.


I spent too much money on video games this month.

All of my savings have gone up in Steam.


A wife asks her husband to sweep the house.

After 5 minutes she walks in on him playing video games, "I thought I asked you to sweep the house"

"It's clean", he replies, "I didn't find any hostiles"


Video games let you live out your wildest fantasies.

For example sims gives you the chance to have a stable job and own your own home


My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.


What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.


I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.


TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...



Girlfriend: "We're breaking up."

Boyfriend: "Why?"

Girlfriend: "You're always playing video games."

Boyfriend: "This is a stupid thing to *Fallout 4*."

All Credit goes to my friend


Why does Jesus hates playing video games?

Because it takes him three days to respawn.


What is Hitler's favourite video game?

Mein Kraft


What's Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Kraft.


What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...


What is Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Craft.


My brother's doctor says he can no longer play
video games, and he's taking it very hard

He's inconsolable


I spent too much money on video games this year.

My savings have gone up in Steam.


All these video games with epic orchestral music scores.

Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.


If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum

But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day


Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise.

... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.


My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games...

...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4.


[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game?

Super-Pac man.


Sex is like a video game for me.

I usually just watch gameplay footage of it but never actually played it myself.


What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?



Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn


Did you hear about the new Christian online video game?

It's pretty good, but it's pray2win.



[Admittedly a better joke when told in person]

Three siblings were all talking one day and the subject of their odd names came up. They realized that all of them had names that were very different from everyone they had ever met. They decided to go to the source for the answer.

The first child went to her parents and asked, "Mom, Dad. Why did you decide to name me Snowflake?"

"Well," her father said, "when you were born, a snowflake landed on the tip of your nose so we had to name you snowflake."

Satisfied with that answer she skipped off.

The next child took his turn asking his parents where his name came from.

"Mom, Dad. Why did you decide to name me Leaf?"

"Well," his father said, "when you were born, a leaf landed on the tip of your nose so we had to name you leaf."

Satisfied with that answer he returned to his video games.

The third child finally went to get answers as well.

He eagerly approached his parents and said, "WhYy didd YOu namE Meee PiANOoooo?!?" [said in your best retard voice with hand gestures.]


My wife left me because "I am addicted to video games"..

I was so sad I could hardly console myself


Foul-mouthed Timmy

Timmy, a 6 year old, was walking home one day, when he heard his neighbors screaming, "Put your penis in my vagina!" Timmy goes home to his mother, who is cooking dinner for a dinner party with their neighbors. Timmy asks his mother, "What does penis and vagina mean?" His mother says that a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat. Then his mother cuts her hand and says, "FUCK! Sorry Timmy, fuck means to slice something, okay?" Timmy says ok and goes to see his older brother, who is playing video games. "You bitches and hoe are mine!" says his brother. Timmy asks what bitches and hoes means, so his brother tells him that it means ladies and gentlemen. Then Timmy hears his father in the bathroom saying, "This looks like jizz on my face." Timmy sees his dad shaving his beard in the bathroom and asks him what jizz means. His dad says that jizz is a type of shaving cream. Then Timmy hears the doorbell ring and he goes to see his neighbors at the door for the dinner party. Timmy attempts to use his new vocabulary and greets his neighbors by saying, "Hello you bitches and hoes! May I take your penis and your vagina? My mother is in the kitchen fucking the turkey and my dad is in the bathroom wiping the jizz off of his face!"


What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called?

Womb raider


A Family is getting ready for Thanksgiving

The little boy hear his sister on the phone talking to her friend, she mentioned the words bitch and bastard.
Curious, the boy asks her what they mean, flustered, she says
"Bitch means woman, and Bastard means man"
satisfied, the boy leaves the room.
He passes by his older brothers room as his brother was playing video games and yelling at the TV
curious, the boy asks his brother what Dick and Pussy means.
embarrassed, the brother says "a dick is a coat, and a pussy is a hat"
satisfied again, the boy leaves.
He walks by the bathroom where his father was applying shaving cream to his face,
"Hey dad what are you putting on your face?" he says.
Distracted, the father nicks himself and yells
"oh, okay" says the boy,
He hears the doorbell ring, and on the way to answer it he sees his mom cutting the thanksgiving turkey,
"mom what are you doing?" he asks,
startled by her son, she cuts her finger and yells
the boy opens the door and sees his grandparents.
"Well hello bitch and bastard! can i grab your dicks and pussies? Mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey and Dad's putting shit on his face!"


What are the most funny Video Game jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Video Game? Well, here are the best Video Game dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Video Game pick up lines to share with friends.

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