Victory Jokes

48 victory jokes and hilarious victory puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about victory that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Got a victory to celebrate? Need some good-natured ribbing but don't know where to start? Look no further than this collection of jokes chronicling triumphant military against their defeated opponent. French Army victories, undefeated teams and the unmistakable roar of a Victory motorcycle all feature in this list of victory jokes. Turn that win into a real corker of a celebration!

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Funniest Victory Short Jokes

Short victory jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The victory humour may include short winning jokes also.

  1. Hillary's mad at Satan Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?
    Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?
  2. In the annual gay vs straight basketball game, the gay team has prevailed, in what was a come from behind victory.
  3. In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote. A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".
  4. What did the Saudi man say to celebrate their unlikely World Cup victory? A. Great execution!
  5. Don't think that colour doesn't matter. Brown, yellow and black must be eliminated so that only white remains. It's the only way to reach victory. Said the snooker teacher.
  6. My girlfriend: Oh baby I want you to tease me. Me: Plays three seconds of the SpongeBob Sweet Victory clip.
    My Girlfriend: Oooh you dirty tease!
  7. What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon? "Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"
  8. The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots. They must feel really deflated.
  9. We Asked Donald Trump How He Felt About His Victory He answered: "I feel like a small loan of a million bucks"
  10. I made a dark chocolate brand called Victory And the slogan is even when you finish this dark chocolate, the victory will still be bitter sweet

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Victory One Liners

Which victory one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with victory? I can suggest the ones about wins and winner.

  1. I once won a pumpkin carving contest. It was a hollow victory.
  2. Do you think Quentin Tarantino likes the taste of victory? Or does he prefer defeat?
  3. Why was zero happy about the victory? Because 0 1 2
  4. What's a good book to read on a short trip? *Italian Military Victories*
  5. Doug Jones' victory is so small Roy Moore wants to date it
  6. Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory? I1
  7. Yo mama so fat When she lands in fortnite, she gets a Victory Royale
  8. I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
    A bittersweet victory.
  9. What did Floyd Mayweather's wife say about his recent victory? Beats me.
  10. What do the leaders of ISIS drink after a victory? Bombay.
  11. Where do triumphant water fowl get their underwear? Victorious egret
  12. An appeals court has upheld a ban on pit bulls Another victory in the war on terrier
  13. Why don't the Patriots celebrate their victories? They already got a Pat on the back.
  14. Mayweather's formula of victory Victory = (Hugs + Runs) * 12
  15. Plot Twist I thought I was gonna win fortnite game but I LOST no victory Royale 😂😂😰😝

Victory joke, Plot Twist

Entertaining Victory Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about victory you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean success jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make victory pranks.

Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."

I thought of this joke this morning in the shower

A professional baseball team is at the airport flying home after a huge victory, and the team manager decides to splurge by buying first class tickets for everyone. Excited to fly in luxury, everyone boards the plane. The team quickly realizes, though, that they failed to reserve enough seats. Nobody is quite sure what to do, but eventually a rookie on the team stands up and shouts "put me in coach!"

A man wins a horse race

A man won a horse race after the other horse dropped dead before reaching the finish line.
However, the winner had a hard time enjoying his victory, because it's no fun beating a dead horse!

Three Men were in a Soviet Prison.

One man asked another, "What are you in here for?"
The other man replied, "I was arrested for being late. They accused me of wanting to delay the victory of the Proletariat."
Another man chimed in, "I was arrested for being early. They accused me of wanting to be favored over my fellow workers."
They both asked the first man what he was in for.
He replied, "I was arrested for being on time. They accused me of having a western timepiece."

random pandemic question

According to history class, they organized wild o**... in the Middle Ages after the victory over the plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.

The Bikers

A biker with a racing bike brags before chopper bikers and dares them to race. Despite he's obviously faster, the oldest of the chopper bikers agrees. The racing biker wants to bet $1000, but the chopper owner has no money so they agree to race for the honor of the victory.
They get ready for the uneven race. A countdown is proclaimed and the racing biker speeds away. The old biker shuts off his bike and returns to his beer.

A pirate trained his pet whale to come when he whistled

One day, he heard a navy general whistle the same way
Furious, the pirate fired all cannons and blew their ship in half. In victory he yelled
Sank you!
The general yelled back
Your whale comes!

A man in France was arrested today for using his car to run down a pedestrian he thought was o**... bin Laden.

Even though it was a mistake, it still ranks as France's biggest military victory.

Doug Jones' margin of victory is so small

Roy Moore is going to try and m**... it.

The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday

sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes

It was very noble of Serena Williams to fight sexism and inequality

By spoiling the fair, hard earned victory of an Asian woman

The biggest victory for feminism was in the second world war...

When the Motherland utterly dominated the Fatherland.

Dad: I heard you got me some new clothes for celebration of the Eagles victory son. What is it?

Son: It's a tie dad.

Stop hating on the Patriots!

There are kids that are young enough that haven't seen their last superbowl victory!

Victory joke, Stop hating on the Patriots!

jokes about victory