Vicious Jokes
42 vicious jokes and hilarious vicious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vicious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the art of taking vicious jokes to the next level with savagely funny and brutally hilarious ideas. Learn how to create vicious circles of mockery that will leave your friends victorious in laughter.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Vicious Short Jokes
Short vicious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vicious humour may include short venomous jokes also.
- I keep getting hit by the same bike, at the same time and place, day after day... It's a vicious cycle.
- I was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep… But there was nothing I could do to stop the bleating.
- I have a bike with no seat. It hurts to ride, and no one wants to buy it because it has no seat. So I'm stuck riding this bike. It's a vicious cycle.
- Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine. It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.
- What do you call a mean bike? A vicious cycle!
Fellow dad buddy of mine got me with it today lol - Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them? You shout, I'm betting on the dude with the knife!
- what do you get if you cross a poodle with a pit bull? not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip.
- What's the difference between a brutal military overthrow and a Volkswagen Beetle made out of mucus? One's a vicious coup and the other is a viscous coupe.
- It's double standards!!!! When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible."
But when I do it,
I'm, "an alcoholic." - Have you heard about the vicious sheep killer that's loose in India? Police are asking for all they help they can get. So far they mutton to go on.
Share These Vicious Jokes With Friends
Vicious One Liners
Which vicious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vicious? I can suggest the ones about wicked and furious.
- I keep falling off my bike. It's a vicious cycle.
- Did you hear about the man who got hit by a bike every morning? It was a vicious cycle.
- What's round and bad tempered? A vicious circle
- I fell off my bike 3 days in a row Its a vicious cycle
I tried. - My friend rides a bike with a spike on the seat It's a vicious cycle.
- Just Bought a New Road Bike It's a vicious cycle.
- What's the scariest thing in geometry? A vicious circle.
- What do you call a bike that is also being convicted of a m**... A vicious cycle!
- How many Kings does it take to viciously destroy a room full of lightbulbs ? Vi Kings
- In Russia Life is a vicious sickle.
Amusing Vicious Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about vicious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aggressive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vicious pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with l**... himself on how to be even more vicious.
I've no idea what kind of fees she's charging him.
A man has a wonderful Horse
It's a marvellous Horse, good looking and everything. But it also occasionally gets very dangerous and vicious.
Causes tons of trouble, breaks things, violent etc.
So he goes to the vet and asks what can I do with this horse
The vet says that's a very easy problem and I am glad to help you
The man says ok, so what should I do
The Vet says the next time your horse is behaving well, sell it
"You gotta help man, my bike's possessed. If I ride it, it bites me, if I don't, it still bites me."
"It's a vicious cycle."
"You think that's bad? My bike's turned entirely into clumpy goo."
"It's a viscous cycle."
"You think that's bad?! My bike's turned into a man, and then gone off to compete in the olympics."
"It's discus michael."
A person gets hit by a bicycle.
So this person wakes up, as usual, to get ready to go to work. They do their normal routine: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc... On their way to work, they get hit by a bicycle.
The next day, the same thing happens. Get ready for work, leave, get hit by a bicycle. This goes on for weeks.
It was a vicious cycle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Cardassian and a Kardashian?
One is a vicious, opportunistic race, bent on subjugation and d**... through whatever insidious and ethically-questionable means they have at hand.
The other is a fictional race from Star Trek.
Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)
• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way
Little Jimmy comes home from school with a black eye
Mom says, Jimmy! What happened?!
Jimmy says, I was attacked in geometry class.
Bye whom? Asked mom, already calling the school.
It was a vicious circle.
Don't...don't make me
Doctor: You took a pretty vicious hit to the head, do you know who you are?
Me: Sure
Doctor: Who is the President of the United States?
Me: ...
Doctor: ...
Me: don't...don't make me say it
Vicious circle of toilet paper
In the early stages of the pandemic, people hoarded toilet paper and you could not find it anywhere.
Now that things have calmed down, toilet paper is available almost anywhere.
But now we find that meat is going to be in short supply.
So people will turn to beans to replace meat, which is a strong indicator that toilet paper will again be in short supply.
Every morning I get up walk out the door and get hit by the same bike day in day out.......
It's a vicious cycle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the government funded study that found that vicious but restrained dogs could have a sobering effect on people using l**...?
It was a taxes chained-dog acid-cure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a visitor to georgia saw a vicious dog attack a toddler
He took out his pocket knife, ran over, and stabbed the dog to death.
The mother of the toddler said
"now look here, you have saved my boy.
I happen to be a newspaper reporter, and in this week's newspaper I will personally make the headline:"
BRAVE LOCAL MAN SAVES CHILD BY KILLING BEAST
"that's great," said the man: "but I'm not from this town".
the reporter said "In that case, the headline will be:"
GEORGIA MAN SAVES CHILD BY KILLING DOG
"but I'm not actually from Georgia," the man said. "I'm from Vermont."
"oh". the reporter scowled
"the headline's gonna be:"
YANKEE BUTCHERS FAMILY PET
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 1/6
A report shows that North Korea has 6,000 cyber attack specialists. In fairness, North Korea's definition of cyber attack specialist is anyone who's ever watched The Matrix.
...these cyber attack specialists can access any computer on the planet, and leave the message Please. Help me get out of North Korea.
In Mexico, a vicious drug cartel forced some members to eat human hearts. Ex-members of the cartel who were forced to eat hearts have formed a class action, and are suing the cartel for 100 million kilos of c**....
In Florida, a man brought a five-month-old baby to an attempted burglary. The man has been offered a reduced sentence, if he agrees to testify against the baby.
