Vice Jokes
98 vice jokes and hilarious vice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the various "vice jokes" that have been circulating in popular culture. From Miami Vice to Bench Vice to Vice Ganda, find out how these jokes use the concept of vice to their advantage. Discover how the terms "vice president", "vice principal" and "vice grip" are used tightly and externally as a tool.
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Funniest Vice Short Jokes
Short vice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vice humour may include short avail jokes also.
- I missed the Vice Presidential debate... Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about?
- I discovered that my socks exhibit quantum entanglement. As soon as I put on my left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.
- I have a strange fear of seeing a certain former vice president outside. I think I have algoreaphobia.
- What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa
- What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes? An algorithm
(Credit to my girlfriend) - What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks and does drugs? a Vice Admiral
- I couldn't figure out why my Twitter feed only showed videos of Ex vice presidents dancing. Turns out it's just the Al gore rhythm
- I invented an item that helps you stop smoking, drinking, and gambling. It is quite the de-vice.
- I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ... Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.
- Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae album? It's called Al Gore Rhythms
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Vice One Liners
Which vice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vice? I can suggest the ones about vine and vent.
- YouTube keeps showing me videos of vice-presidents dancing. Must be the al gore Rhythm…
- What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar? An algorithm
- I hate the misuse of Latin phrases... ...and vice versa.
- Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]
- In the UK, United States Vice President's opinion isn't worth much It's only a pence.
- What did Donald Trump do when he heard the Vice President was thirsty? He gave Pensacola
- I told my wife I wanted to try a new position. She made me vice-president of dusting.
- I'm really bad at understanding some common phrases and vice versa.
- The vice president of Pepsi got fired... he came up positive for coke.
- What do you get if you clone the vice president half a dozen times? Sixpence
- Why did the ex Vice President dance so procedurally? He invented an Al-Gore-Rhythm.
- What do you call a Vice President dancing on Instagram? Al Gore Rythym
- What did the Vice President say when leaving the White House? Biden
- Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year? Cuz he's Biden his time.
- What's a Vice Presidents favorite type of math function? An Al Gore-ithm
Vice President Jokes
Here is a list of funny vice president jokes and even better vice president puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- After nitpicking a small detail in my friend's story, he said to me "What are you? President of the Pedantic Society?" Vice President, actually.
- Somebody attacked Bill Clinton's vice president with a chainsaw. Witnesses described a mess of blood and Gore.
- Facebook keeps suggesting that I watch videos of former American Vice Presidents dancing. All to do with the Al Gore rhythms, apparently.
- Former Vice President Joe's taking forever to announce running in 2020 I guess he's just Biden his time.
I wonder what his decision dePence on, is he afraid that he will be Chene'd to it? - When the Vice President of America is lost in thought... Would he be considered Mike Pensive?
- The government has developed a program to increase the dancing skills of the vice president... They used an Al Gore Rhythm....
- People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016 He might, but for now he's just Biden his time.
- My newsfeed keeps showing me a video of a former US Vice President playing the drums... It must be Facebook's Al Gore rhythms.
- Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president.
But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president - So, I haven't seen the vice president in the news much recently I think that he may just be Biden his time
Vice Presidency Jokes
Here is a list of funny vice presidency jokes and even better vice presidency puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Al Franken for president in 2020 Jill Stein for vice-president
Just think of the bumper sticker... - What do you call it when a president and vice-president are impeached at the same time? Trump/Pence
- Everyone thought that Obama's Vice President was done with politics after 2016, but now he's considering running for president in 2020. I guess he was just Biden his time.
- If Vice President Al Gore was a musician..... He could call his group The Al Gore Rhythms
- I said to my friend, let's take turns naming American Vice Presidents . Al Gore first.
- Everyone was wondering whether the US Vice President was involved in a scandal... ... they were all in sus Pence.
- A former vice president has been researching a new method of making music It's called an Algorithm
- What are the things The VICE President is in control of? Some questions are best left unanswered.
- What are the vice presidents pens are called? Mike's pens
- What do you call a short moral story told by the 45th vice president of america? An al gorey
Vice Versa Jokes
Here is a list of funny vice versa jokes and even better vice versa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call that weird sensation when you are suddenly teleported from North Pole to South Pole or vice versa? Bi-polar disorder.
- At first, I was quite surprised to see my hockey team's goalie surrounded by beautiful women at the bar ...but then I remembered he's good at snatching pucks, and vice versa.
- I love using Latin phrases in English And vice versa
- It's unfortunate that "I'M A 'MURRICAN" sounds a lot like "I'M A MERKIN" And sometimes, vice versa.
Poor merkins. - My dad wore my mom's clothes and vice-versa. Really didn't want to see them like that. To me, they were trans-parent
- LifeProTips: If you want your head massaged and you want it by yourselves then massage your left side of head with right hand and vice versa.
Would i tell this to school children? - Let me introduce a special unit to measure laziness - *hackrow*. So men with 1000 *hackrow* will be workaholic vice versa.
- If a female dentist tells a male patient to open nice and wide it's fine but if it's vice versa...
- What's the difference between a French university student and a Russian one? The French student is well s**... and slightly drunk; the Russian one is vice versa
- Calories burned during s**... If the man is ready( same vice-versa).... 1 - 4 calories
If the woman is not( same vice-versa).... 300 - 400 calories.
Hilarious Fun Vice Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about vice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean visa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vice pranks.
I only have only one vice...
and that's to be s**... on top of my dirty workbench.
What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction?
A vice grip.
Two nuns were on their day off...
...and they were on their way to sate their only vice, which was a male s**... club. On their way there, they passed a barber shop where the smell of burning hair wafted through the air. One of them turns to the other and says, "I think we better slow down, Mabel."
Several months
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have s**... with her that way.
"And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
"Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
I'm stuck in Christmas mass right now and I need some n**... religious jokes about Christianity in order to make my dad crack. Have any?
Help me, I got dragged to this as vice and now we need jokes.
One day, the President finds a n**... message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.
He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.
"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"The u**... belongs to the Vice President."
"What could possibly be worse than that?"
"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."
Wife or Girlfriend
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment." The mathematician: "A wife. You have security." The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."
A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving.
She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"
1...
2...
2 and a half...
2 and three quarters...
2 and five sevenths...
Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.
Mike Pence Walks Into a Bar
He walks up to a group of women and says, "Hey ladies, wanna get out of here?"
The girls look befuddled. One of them says "Excuse me Mr. Pence, as vice president and as a married man, isn't it inappropriate to hit on a group of women like this?"
To which Pence replied "I wasn't hitting on you. Either you go or I'm not allowed to stay."
Mike Pence walks into the Oval Office and sees Trump whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
So a p**... offered me to do anything for 500 bucks..
I asked her to complete the remote helicopter mission in the GTA Vice City
The president opens his curtains on a snowy morning when he sees that someone had urinated the words "The president s**..." on the lawn.
Furious, the president orders the FBI to launch an investigation.
Two hours later, the head of the FBI calls the president. "Sir, we have bad news, and we have even worse news. The u**... was the Vice Presidents".
The President responds, "What? What could be worse than this?"
The head of the FBI says,"The handwriting was the First Lady's".
I u/deadroadie am declaring my official run for presidential candidacy.
If any one can claim to be running for presidential candidacy, why not throw my name into the ring. h**..., why stop there, I fully support Cujo as my Vice President because he's such a heckin good boy!
Here's a bit of advice for you:
vice
A drunk walks into a church...
...during mass and sits down. The priest is bothered by his presence and says to everybody:
\-The drink is a terrible vice, so much so that a drunk man will never reach salvation. If any of you is inebriated, I ask you to stand up.
The drunk man does, looks around to everybody sitted and says:
\-Whelp, I guess it's just the two of us, father.
I saw a former vice present playing bass recommend to me on Youtube.
I think something was wrong with its Al Gore rhythm.
