viagra Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious viagra puns

Im taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets of my bed

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I'm taking Viagra for my sunburn

It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs

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A lady goes to the doctor for help with her sex life...

Doctor: Give your husband viagra.

Lady: I can't, he hates pills.

Doctor: Just put it in his coffee.

Next week she returns, unhappy.

Doctor: Was it good?

Lady: It was the worst sex I ever had. He had a few sips of coffee, then he pushed everything off the table and fucked me on it right then and there.

Doctor: Well, then what's wrong?

Lady: I'll never be able to show my face at Starbucks again.

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I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn

Doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night

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Sex could be fatal...

An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl.

He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night.

The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."

The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."

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I just sold viagra to a guy who thinks it's adderal.

He's going to have a very hard test tomorrow.

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Make sure your viagra says "Made in the USA"...

We don't want Russia meddling in our erections.

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I overdosed on Viagra once.

It was the hardest day of my life.

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I've started using Viagra to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets of my legs.

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More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research!

More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fucking idea why!

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I started taking Viagra for my sunburn

It doesn't cure it but it sure keeps the sheet off my legs.

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Yo momma is so ugly...

Her dildo needs viagra

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My Grandpa recently had to start using Viagra

Grandma took it pretty hard

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What does Melania call it when Donald takes Viagra?

A rigged erection.

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Make sure you're viagra says Made in the USA

You don't want the Russians meddling in you're erections

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Have you heard about the Viagra shipment that was stolen?

The police are on the lookout for hardened criminals.

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Solution to erection problems

I'm about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.

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Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen

The police is looking for a gang of hardened criminals

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A lady walked Into a pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist

She asks the pharmacist if he has viagra. "I sure do" he responds. "Does it actually work?". "Of course it does." He responds. "Can you get it over the counter?" She asks.

"I can if I take two".

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Viagra was banned in China by the government.

They don't want to admit they have election problems.

(Bad but OC)

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What happens to someone when they overdose on Viagra?

They die hard.

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Why do they give men Viagra in the old folks home?

To keep them from rolling out of bed.

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Viagra is a gateway drug

It leads to harder things.

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Little boy has diarrhea and tells his mom he needs viagra

Mom replies " What the hell for?"
Boy replies "Isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"

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Why did the little boy want Viagra?

A little boy with diarrhea tells his Mom he needs Viagra. The Mom asks "Why on Earth do you need that?" The little boy replies, "isn't that what you give Dad when HIS shit won't get hard?!"

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Have you heard that a viagra shipment has gone missing?

The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

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Did you hear about the guy that died from Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close his coffin.

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Drug Store Robber

A man was in need of some quick cash, and so he decided to turn to thievery. He grabbed his gun and visited 5 different drug stores, stealing over 5,000 pills of Viagra. The next day, while preparing to sell the pills, the man's house was surrounded by police. With no place to go, the man decided to swallow the evidence. He is now facing 20 years of hard time.

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Female Viagra has been around for years...

It's called money.

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My Viagra addiction

..was the hardest time of my life.

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Woman sends her husband to the doctor, because he has erectile problems

He comes home with a bottle of pills. Wife asks, "so, did he give you Viagra, or Cialis?"

Guy says, "Neither, he gave me really strong diet pills."

Wife says, "that's weird, why would you have to take diet pills?"

Handing her the bottle, the man says, "They're not for me. You take one at breakfast and one at bedtime."

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Why is Viagra like Disneyland?

You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

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Viagra side effect.

I'm reaching out on behalf of a golf buddy of mine who needs some help!

His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came back, he handed her some diet pills.

Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Let me know if you can help.

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So I've been puting Viagra in my milk.

It doesn't help with the sex, but my Oreos don't go all soft anymore.

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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper...

I woke this morning with a huge correction.

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What are the most funny Viagra jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Viagra? Well, here are the best Viagra dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Viagra pick up lines to share with friends.

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