Vets Jokes

• Short Vets Jokes
• Vets One Liners
• More Vets Jokes

Funniest Vets Short Jokes

Short vets jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vets humour may include short veterinarian jokes also.

1. How many vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!
2. My parrot was just diagnosed with an STD. Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.
3. So, Schrödinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. "Sir, we have good news and bad news."
4. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal." Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.
5. The vet told me "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down." "Oh God!" I said. "WHY?!"
   "Because my arms are getting tired."
6. I took my goldfish to the vet. He's having seizures.
   The vet responded, He looks fine to me.
   Sure, I said, but wait until I get him out of the bowl.
7. I took my dog to the vet The vet picked up the dog and examined him and said "I'm sorry, I've got to put him down".
   "Why, what's wrong with him?"
   "He's too heavy"
8. Not quite what she was expecting... Guy: I work with animals every day!
   Girl: That's so sweet! Are you a vet or a pet shop own-
   Guy: I'm a butcher.
9. A man takes his dog to the vet to be examined... The vet picks the dog up, looks it over, and then says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
   The man asks why.
   "He's heavy."
10. The vet determined that my horse constantly imagines himself to be homeless. He has been declared mentally unstable.

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Vets One Liners

Which vets one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vets? I can suggest the ones about cat vet and veteran.

1. Schrodinger took his cat to the vet. The vet said, I have good news and bad news.
2. First day as a vet Me: What seems to be the problem
   Cat: Meow
   Me: Yes, but where?
3. My dog ate a whole bag of scrabble tiles. I took him to the vet. No word yet.
4. What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal? A doctor
5. I drove my daughter's hamster to the vet this morning. I'm getting rather good at golf
6. Why did the vet turn away the injured sea animal? Do not accept if seal is broken.
7. A cat walks into the vet and says, "Meow." The vet says, "Okay but where?"
8. My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. I left him at the vets. No word yet.
9. What did the dog get at the vet? [FIXED]
10. What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle.
11. What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him? No hard feelings.
12. A zookeeper couldn't get his snakes to breed The vet said he had a reptile dysfunction
13. What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car? A Corps vet in a Corvette.
14. Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet? Because his pythons were sick
15. What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from? Hot flashbacks

Unearthly Funniest Vets Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about vets you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pet owners jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vets pranks.