Veterinary Jokes
17 veterinary jokes and hilarious veterinary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about veterinary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious veterinary jokes for every occasion! From short and cheesy jokes, to dark and stupid ones - we have the ultimate list of veterinary jokes for Halloween, Christmas, Vet Signs, and more! Plus- plenty of jokes that cat and dog owners alike can laugh at!
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Funniest Veterinary Short Jokes
Short veterinary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The veterinary humour may include short veterinarian jokes also.
- Schrodinger is waiting in a veterinary hospital for news on his cat... The nurse comes in and says
"Sir,, I have good news and bad news." - My friend had an affair with a patient. Worked so hard to achieve his degree and one mistake means he lost everything. A great loss to the veterinary profession.
- My first patient of the day walked in and began describing her symptoms in graphic detail. They don't prepare you for this in veterinary school.
- Doctor Griffith Doctor Griffith offers both Veterinary and Taxidermy services. His tag line is "Either way, you get your pet back".
- I just got sacked from my job as a veterinary surgeon I got caught looking at pictures of frogspawn
- Why was the dyslexic atheist expelled from veterinary school? He kept telling his teachers that he didn't believe in dog.
- So what would you call a veterinary doctor riding a corvette in the rain? A vet, in the wet, in the 'Vette.
- Did you hear about the Emu that was so big it was kicked out of the flock? Yeah, I heard it was ostrich-sized.
(Credit to my Veterinary Student girlfriend) - What if human doctors were like veterinary doctors? "Mommy, why didn't grandpa come home from the doctor?"
- An urban veterinary clinic offered free spaying... Their slogan was b**... get stitches!'
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Veterinary One Liners
Which veterinary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with veterinary? I can suggest the ones about vets and cat vet.
- What do a veterinary clinic and kpop fans have in common? Euthanasia
- What is the most uncomfortable place in the veterinary hospital? The Auk Ward.
- How do you call the best veterinary hospital in Denmark? Great Dane pets hospital.
Hilarious Veterinary Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about veterinary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean veteran jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make veterinary pranks.
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
Dogs and old tech
I work at a veterinary hospital.
We had to give booster shots to a dog today, specifically a Doberman Pinscher.
I noted that we were "updating a dobie."
Many groans were had.
I thought it was funny. :)
A cow joke
Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.
Guys I really need your help, I just lost my job because I r**... a patient.
I really don't know how I'm going to get back into the veterinary business again.
