The Best 26 Versus Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Versus jokes. There are some versus bombay jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these versus teams puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Versus Jokes and Puns

What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?

Alien versus Redditor.

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

What is Roe versus Wade?

A: the decision General Washington made before crossing the Delaware.

Versus joke, What is Roe versus Wade?

Driving high versus driving drunk: Drunks run stop signs.

Stoners stop and wait for them to turn green.

Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)

What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. "Alien versus predator"


Whats the difference between arguing with a Politician online versus in real life?

He lets you finish your sentences

What do you call a priest who is touring Area 51?

Alien versus predator

Versus joke, What do you call a priest who is touring Area 51?

The newest sci-fi movie on Netflix is about a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life.

Alien versus Redditor.

This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie "Alien versus Predator".

"Whoever wins... We lose."

How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball?

It's skirts versus shins.

One of the big themes in Sartre's philosophy is the idea of genuine choice versus just the appearance of having a choice.

So he can't meaningfully choose to have his coffee with no cream, because he could never have had it with cream to begin with, but he can meaningfully choose to have it with no milk.

You can explore versus accelerate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean versus odour dad jokes. There are also versus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do you prefer peeing normally, versus having a nurse use a catheter?

Urine control.

Did you hear about the score of the Egypt versus Ethiopia football game?

Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't

Did you hear they're going to be making a new alien versus predator movie

It's going to be starring an illegal immigrant versus bill Cosby

The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks

Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .

Oh Rosie

It is hard to know the difference between racism that gets you fired versus racism that gets you elected President of the United States.

Versus joke, Oh Rosie

What do you get when an illegal immigration fights a child molester?

Alien versus Predator.

What do you get when you graph mud versus traction?

a slippery slope

Did you hear about the landmark Supreme Court case concerning the best way to cross a shallow creek?

It was *Row versus Wade.*


The monkey god versus Jesus

The monkey god wukong was bored one day and challenged Jesus to see who was stronger. Jesus agreed on one condition that he would hit first. Wukong agreed and Jesus gave him one good punch unto his face causing wukong to fly across the sky. 7 days later, wukong returned with a swollen face and said "my turn". He then punched Jesus in the face so hard that the Christians are still looking for him to this day.

Love Versus Marriage

What's the difference between love and marriage?

-Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

I couldn't decide whether to use a boat or go swimming, so i aborted my plans.

It was a case of row versus wade

How do you figure out the difference between true north versus magnetic north?

I decline to answer.

Harley versus Superman.

If Russia declared war on Quebec

It would be Putin versus Poutine

"Complete" versus "finished"

No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between "complete" and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, it was addressed this way:

When you marry the right woman, you are 'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the versus moba jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working versus nit piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes