Venom Jokes
17 venom jokes and hilarious venom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about venom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to be tickled pink by these hilarious Marvel Venom jokes! From Deez Nuts Venom to Venom Dunking, these will make you laugh out loud. Did you know that a rattlesnake, cobra, and other toxic reptiles are all referred to as venomous? Laugh and learn with these venom-filled jokes!
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Funniest Venom Short Jokes
Short venom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The venom humour may include short poison jokes also.
- I still remember the day my sister found out our neighbor's python isn't venomous. She was crushed.
- Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other... "Hey, are we venomous?"
The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue." - What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a venomous spider? You're probably Australian
- Baby snake \- Mom, are we venomous?, said the baby snake
\- No, we aren't at all! Why?
\- Phew! Because I just bit my tongue! - Do you want to watch the movie "Venom", about Spider-Man's archenemy, before it hits theaters? Easy! You just have to navigate the dark web...
- The Spitting Cobra's venom can make you go blind. What Swedish snake can help you see more clearly? The Vindshield Viper!
- What do you call a vegan who got bit by a snake and won't take the antidote? *die hard with a venom*
- Removing a snake's venom is called "milking" the snake. So: How exactly do you milk snakes? With a very low stool. (Hat tip to Roger Moore)
- What is it called when Venom snake gets spotted doing something bad? Getting caught red handed!
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Venom One Liners
Which venom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with venom? I can suggest the ones about sting and vulture.
- What's the difference between venom and poison? One is black metal, the other glam…
- What do you get when you remove the venom from a snake? A belt.
- Do you know? a King Cobra's venom can kill an elephant. Thank god I am not an elephant.
- What do scorpions do in a race? They venom.
- What kind of food does venom not eat Eddie broccoli
- All this talk about the new Venom trailer as got me thinking Where is the Venom house?
Delightful Fun Venom Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about venom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make venom pranks.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend playing golf gets bit by a snake on his genitalia
I ran up to the clubhouse;
"My buddy got bitten by a venomous snake, how do I save him"
"You gotta s**... out the venom, and quickly"
So I ran back to my friend,
"What'd he say? What'd he say?"
"You're gonna die..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Second
A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom than usual, saying, "You're an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You'll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you'd come in second."
"Why would I come in second?" asked the husband.
"Because you're an idiot!"
