veni Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious veni puns

I came, I saw, I died

or as we say in Latin:

Veni, Vidi, Avicii.

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What did the Latin guy say after he had sex?

Veni. Veni. Veni.

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Veni, vidi, et obliti enim veni.

I came, I saw, and I forgot why I came here.

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Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici

meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.
Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto:
Veni, vidi, veni.

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Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici!

Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.

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What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

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I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said 1 dollar for dirty joke.

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: Alright sir whats your name?

Me: John

Homeless man: So Johnny, there is black rooster alright?

How many legs does that chicken have.

Me: Two?

Homeless man: Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?

Me: Two?
Homeless man: Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?

Me: Two?

Homeless man: Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?

Me: I don't know? A lot?

Homeless man: Well Johnny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy.

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What did Julius Caesar say after he made love to his wife

Veni

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What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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What does Julius Ceasar say after sex?

Veni.

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What did Julius Caesar say towards the end of a passionate night with Cleopatra?

"Veni."

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I came, I saw, I died

Veni, Vidi, Avicii

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I want to open a Roman themed STD clinic

I'll call it Veni VD Vici

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Veni, VD, vici

I came, I caught, I cankered

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Julius Caesar goes to a nightclub with his friends

While there he breaks off from his group of friends to talk to an attractive young woman. His friends don't see him for the rest of the night, and the next morning they're all eager to find out what happened. So when they next see him they ask him what happened.

"Vidi, vici, veni" replies Ceasar.

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Venison

This evening, some bloke approached me outside the pub and offered to sell me 8 legs of venison for £200. I thought, is that too dear?

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What's the title of Julius Caesar's Porno?

Vedi Veci Veni

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Sign over the door of a Roman Brothel

Veni, vidi, veni.

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What did Julius Caesar exclaim after years of impotency?

Veni! Veni! Veni!

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What did the ancient Romans say when they got laid?

*Veni*

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How did Caesar describe his sex life?

Vidi, Vici, Veni.

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What did the Roman premature ejaculater say?

Veni, Vidi, Veni.

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Venison

Venison's dear isnt it?

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Julius caesar once said :" I came , I saw ,I died "

Or in Latin : Veni , Vidi , Avicii

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What did Julius Caesar say after sex?

Veni, vidi, veni!

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Modern Colonization

Veni Vidi Wifi

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What did Caesar say when he saw Cleopatra?

Vici, vidi, Veni.

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Veni Vidi Mingit

Said every dog ever.

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Is venison deer?

No really.

Only paid a couple of bucks.

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What are the most funny Veni jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Veni? Well, here are the best Veni dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Veni pick up lines to share with friends.

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