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Velocity Jokes

62 velocity jokes and hilarious velocity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about velocity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Velocity Short Jokes

Short velocity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The velocity humour may include short peed jokes also.

  1. The movie Speed didn't have a director... Because if Speed had direction, it would have been called Velocity.
  2. So my girlfriend just told me that she needed velocity... Well, her exact words were "time and distance" but I knew what she meant.
  3. My girlfriend and I had a fight and she asked me for distance and time, But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity
  4. Fun movie fact: Did you know that the movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director? Because if it had direction, then the movie would be called "Velocity"
  5. Black lives matter. Unless you accelerate them to the velocity of light, then black lives energy.
  6. My girlfriend told me she needed time, and distance. So I gave her velocity and she was happy with that.
  7. I had a speeding ticket dismissed by a judge who knew his physics The cop wrote down my location, so I told the judge if he knew where I was, he couldn't possibly measure my velocity.
  8. My girlfriend told me she needed some time and distance… I think she wants to calculate velocity…
  9. Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity? Fa-yeet-a
  10. My girl said she need distance and time Still dont know what she's trying to calculate the velocity of...

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Velocity One Liners

Which velocity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with velocity? I can suggest the ones about speed and magnitude.

  1. My girlfriend said she needs time and distance... Is she trying to calculate velocity?
  2. Roses are red Roses are blue, depending on their velocity relative to you
  3. A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.
  4. How much lead is safe to eat It depends on the velocity
  5. A falling Borg has no terminal velocity... ...Air resistance is futile.
  6. My girlfriend said she needed time and distance... So I slapped her with velocity.
  7. If i could just say a quick word... Velocity
  8. Girlfriend asked me for some time and distance Idk what she wanted velocity for....
  9. Are you a metric unit of velocity? Because you make me want to km/s
  10. She said she needed her space and time.. Why didn't she ask for her velocity then?!
  11. Why can't you beat a cancer patient in a race? Cause they move at terminal velocity.
  12. How fast does a skydiving cancer patient fall? Terminal velocity.
  13. What did the doctor tell the skydiver? I'm afraid you have velocity. And it's terminal.
  14. What distance say when velocity fell on top of him? Ow, this really hertz.
  15. May I have a quick word with you? Velocity

Terminal Velocity Jokes

Here is a list of funny terminal velocity jokes and even better terminal velocity puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport? Terminal velocity.
  • I threw my screen out of a window It reached terminal velocity
  • How fast do you have to run to catch your flight? Terminal velocity
  • Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground? Because he reached terminal velocity.
Velocity joke, Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about velocity can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of velocity puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughable Velocity Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about velocity you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean movement jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make velocity prank.

I'm really glad I'm taking physics...

...because although my grade falling, at least I can calculate it's velocity.

What's the maximum velocity while having s**...?

68, cause at 69 you flip over

My girlfriend got mad and said she need some time and distance as she left the house crying...

I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity

The most dangerous rollercoaster in the world is the Wolfcoaster

The dangerous part isn't the velocity. It's the wolves.

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

My gf just told me that she needed some space and time

I think she wants to calculate velocity.

If Timmy buys 7 apples and eats 5

what is the median velocity of his motorcycle?

I was having a discussion about the derivatives of velocity with my friend. He insulted me so I said...

...don't be d^3x/dt^3.

My girlfriend and I broke up today

Her: "I just need time."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."
Her: "And distance, as well."
Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"

Universty exams be like

boy on a bicycle increases his velocity from 5 m/s to 20 m/s in 10 seconds. What is the boy's name?

Pickup line for English Mathematicians

Do you like Velocity? 'Cause I wanna give you the D over T (tea)

Today my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance...

"Well...," a friend replies, "...I'm going to be honest with you: you should take advantage of that, she's not for you. She is seeing other guys, she even had an affair with me, your best friend! I'm glad she said that. How did she start the conversation?"
The other guy stays speechless for a while. "she... was studying for a test, for physics. She needed random numbers to calculate velocity."

Physics Teacher's Story

Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.
Speed lacks Direction.

My girlfriend said she needed time and distance

I said: "Why do we have to involve velocity with this?"

Roses are red, Roses are blue

Depending on their velocity relative to you









Let me know if its already been posted before

Velocity joke, Roses are red

jokes about velocity

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these velocity jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.