Velcro Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

The man who invented the "VELCRO" died today....


The inventor of Velcro died last week.


Do not buy Velcro from anyone.

It's a rip off.


..What a rip off.

My Grandpa told me this joke when I was 16... It took me a few years to understand it.

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

I have a friend who's selling a velcro wig for $100

It's a rip off if you ask me.

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

The guy who invented the velcro died last week


Never Invest in the Velcro industry.

Its a complete ripoff

Velcro sanitary towels...

They're a bloody rip off

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling

LPT: Never buy anything made of velcro...

It's a total rip-off.

Items that are made from velcro...

Are such a rip-off.

My New Year's resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall.

And I plan on sticking to it.


That's a rip off

Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

You should never buy anything with Velcro

It's a total ripoff

How do you stop black kids bouncing on their beds?

Velcro the ceiling

A bought a $200 shirt made entirely of velcro.

What a rip-off.


What a rip off!


What a rip off


What a rip off...

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?


How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

tape velcro to the ceiling.

My Jobsβ€”

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it. I tried my hand at a career in tennis, but it wasn't my racketβ€”I was too high strung. I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way. I got a job at a pool company, but the work was too draining. I was a historian, but I couldn't see a future in it. I took a job as an elevator operatorβ€”the job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft. I took a job at UPS, but I couldn't express myself. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

I'm gonna buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces

Why knot?

Velcro is an item of horrible value

It's a rip-off!


What a rip off.

How do u stop a black person from jumping on the bed

Put Velcro on the roof

I hate buying Velcro.. it's such a ripoff!

Did you hear they got rid of air bags in the new Cadillac?

It now features a Velcro headrest!

Velcro sucks!

It's such a rip off

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?



What a rip off.

I Never Buy Anything Containing Velcro

It's all a total rip-off

You know what I think is a rip-off?


If you're thinking about building a Velcro wall

Plan on sticking to it


It's a rip off.


What a rip-off.

I work with a Japanese man, and he only wears shoes that do up with velcro.

I'm really starting to think he might be a lacist.

You should date people that wear velcro shoes

They're more likely to stick around.

What do you call a Velcro sanitary towel?

A bloody rip off.


What a ripoff!


What a ripoff!


...what a rip off!

TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro

So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro

It's a total rip off

If I were you, I wouldn't buy velcro.

I heard it's a rip off.

Why did the skinhead have Velcro on his boots?

He was a lacist.

Velcro is the original hook and loop fastener...

Imitations of it are just rip-offs.


What a rip-off!!

Don't waste your money on Velcro....'s a rip-off

My New Year's resolution was to buy a velcro wall

So far I'm sticking to it

You shouldn't buy so much Velcro...

It usually a ripoff

What's Helen Keller's favorite color?


(sorry if this is offensive)

What are the funniest velcro jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Velcro? Well, here are the best Velcro puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Velcro pick up lines to share with friends.

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