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Vein Jokes

65 vein jokes and hilarious vein puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vein that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your socks off with these hilarious vein jokes! From spider veins to the aorta and jugular, you won't be able to stop yourself from being blownaparte with these funny one-liners!

Funniest Vein Short Jokes

Short vein jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vein humour may include short blood vessel jokes also.

  1. I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published. It was all in vein.
  2. Today I found out that you can hear the blood flowing through your veins. You just have to listen varicosely.
  3. Why can't the vaccine contain holy water? Because you're not supposed to take the lord's name in vein.
  4. My local hospital brought in a priest to bless all the bags of IV saline… …but they got in trouble for using God's name in vein.
  5. Nurse missed the first time when trying to give me an IV. When he switched Arms to try again, I asked... Was your first effort in vein?
  6. There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones, But alas it twas in vein.
  7. There's a new drug on the street called God, but I'll never use it. I'd never take the Lord's name in vein.
  8. There are over 60,000 miles of arteries, veins and capillaries in the human body. If you took all of yours and laid them end-to-end, You'd die.
  9. I've invented a new opiod, which I've called Jesus. All the churches near me are telling kids not to take the Lord's name in vein.
  10. If you took all the arteries, veins, and capillaries in your body and tied them together end to end ...you would die.

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Vein One Liners

Which vein one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vein? I can suggest the ones about vessel and valve.

  1. Why isn't Holy Water used in vaccines ? Because, you can't take the Lords name in vein.
  2. Two red blood cells met and fell in love but alas, it was in vein.
  3. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely
  4. Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein.
  5. 2 blood cells met and fell in love Alas, it was all in vein!
  6. Why don't they use holy water in vaccines? You can't take the lords name in vein.
  7. A useless blood vessel is found dead It died in vein
  8. I initially refused my vaccine however it ended up being in vein.
  9. First joke post How do you hear the blood in your veins?
    By listening varicosely
  10. If you have poison in your veins Would you call that toxic vasculinity?
  11. I have the best circulatory system in the world! Some say aorta be less vein
  12. Jazz is in my blood You could say I've got deep vein trombonses.
  13. A guy died from arteries clogging. The doctors' efforts were in vein.
  14. What did the angry artery say to the annoying vein? Why Aorta!
  15. What is the proudest body part? the veins

Vein joke, What is the proudest body part?

Charming Humor Vein Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about vein you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vein pranks.

There's a new type of h**... on the market that's called "Jesus Christ"

Finally a way for people to feel good after taking the lord's name in vein

Never fall in love with a heroine j**....

They got a lot of love, but it's all in vein.

The church are upset about a new type of h**..., called "Jesus"

They hate it when people take the Lord's name in vein.

Never Fall in love with a h**... addict because even though they have a lot of love to give.

It's all in Vein

What did the doctor say about the o**... donor which died from a clotted artery?

"at least his death wasn't in vein"

The j**... tried but couldn't quit

All of his efforts were in vein

I've heard addicts claim that h**... became their "God" but...

...they're always taking his name in vein.

Why should white blood cells never discuss God?

Because they would be using the lord's name in vein

I want to invent an intravenous drug.

I will name it Lord's Name, and people will be taking the Lord's Name in vein.

My doctor was trying to get blood from my arteries

But his attempts to draw blood were in vein

The iron vein ran out...

It was only a minor issue though.

A man goes to the doctor for a follow-up on his Deep Vein Thrombosis

Doctor: "So I prescribed you blood thinners last month, have you been taking them?"
Man: "No. I have a great reason why not though"
Doctor: "Aaah! The clot thickens!"

What's the toughest commandment for IV drug users to follow?

Don't take God's name in vein.

I tried taking h**... the other night, but it didn't work

My efforts were in vein.

Does anyone know a good phlebotomy joke?

I've been trying to come up with one, but my efforts have been in vein.

Lenin in Warsaw

A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, n**..., having mad s**... with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.

A joke that has been circulating around for a while...

Two blood cells fell in love, but it was all in vein.

I just donated blood to the Red Cross.

But I'm afraid my donation will be in vein.

Statistically...

9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

Why are scientists that develop vaccinations sad?

Because all their work is in vein

We lost a brave soldier today, died from a fatal wound to the aorta...

But he did not die in vein.

There's this new drug named Jesus

I've heard of a lot of people injecting it but I've started taking it o**....
I'd never take the lords name in vein

What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot?

Ay, be positive.

What's a junkies favourite cheese?

Blue vein

I tried quitting h**....

But all my efforts were in vein.

To combat drug addiction, Christians are now rebranding herion as "Jesus"

One should never take the Lord's name in vein.

My h**...-addicted friend

I used to have a great friend. As we grew older, he started doing h**.... Of course, this affected him pretty strongly. Eventually, he even started calling the injection his "God". Weird, I know, but that's just how he was.
Sadly, he passed away recently, although I guess that was to be expected. After all, thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vein.

Never call your h**... Jesus.

You shouldn't take the Lord's name in vein.

In a hospital room

Doctor: *Im sorry sir, but the virus will continue to spread throughout your body. There's nothing we can do. *
Patient: *but what about the treatment you injected into me?
Doctor: *Turns out, that was the wrong medicine. It was all done in vein.*

Doctors agree...

9 out of 10 vaccinations are in vein.

I once got some minor blood poisoning.

I tried to ingest the antidote, but it turns out it was in vein.

A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw.

Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, n**..., having mad s**... with another man. And then another.
And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin? The director answers:
In Warsaw.

Vein joke, My local hospital brought in a priest to bless all the bags of IV saline…

jokes about vein