Vegetable Garden Jokes
38 vegetable garden jokes and hilarious vegetable garden puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vegetable garden that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Vegetable Garden Short Jokes
Short vegetable garden jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vegetable garden humour may include short flower garden jokes also.
- My five year old just told me this one... Why did the snowman go to the vegetable garden?
So he could go pick his nose. - Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail? I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden.
- What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden? One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.
- Why was there a gardener on duty at Steven Hawking's burial? They needed help planting the vegetable.
- Did you hear about the gardener that had an aneurysm? He's currently in a vegetative-state.
- What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener? One of them has to water their vegetables
- The cucumbers are taking over my garden and trying to starve all the other vegetables out. It's a war of nutrition.
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Vegetable Garden One Liners
Which vegetable garden one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vegetable garden? I can suggest the ones about vegetable and fruit vegetable.
- Why'd the gardener get banned from the hospital? He kept watering the vegetables.
- What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad.
- What do you call a ward full of coma patients A vegetable garden.
- Grave diggers are like gardeners They plant vegetables
- What is it called when a person in a coma is surrounded by flowers? A vegetable garden
- What do you get when weeds start growing in a vegetable garden? Baked potatoes.
- Which one is the most regretful vegetable in the garden? The rue-barb.
- Why is the retirement center nicknamed "the garden"? Because it is full of vegetables.
- Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden. - Vegetable do you get after Shrek runs through your garden? Squash
- What do you call the ICU in a hospital A vegetable garden
- My s**... life is like my vegetable garden I'm self sufficient
- Out of all the vegetables in her garden, what were the p**...'s favorite? Her peas.
Vegetable Garden Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about vegetable garden you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean garden jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vegetable garden pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a garden and a woman on h**... have in common?
They both grow vegetables when someone plants a seed in them.
Two elderly ladies meet at the laundromat after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.
Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"
I opened a can of peas instead."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mystikal and Ludacris are discussing gardening...
Mystikal: "Say how do you dig all those weeds out of your vegetable patch?"
Ludacris: "Use a h**..."
Elephant ambiguity
A circus train derailed in a very rural area and several animals escaped throughout the countryside. An elephant wandered into an elderly lady's garden and began eating her vegetables. She looked out from inside her house and saw the animal. Being nearsighted and never having seen an elephant, she phoned the sheriff and exclaimed "Sheriff, sheriff, come quick; there is some kind of critter in my garden, it is bigger than my toolshed, and it is pulling up my turnips with its tail!". The sheriff replied,"Pulling turnips up with its tail? What is it doing with them?" The old lady squinted through the window and reluctantly replied, "Sheriff, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For years Johnny helped his father with the vegetable garden.
Every spring Johnny's dad would have Johnny over for a day and they would spend all day tilling the soil to get it ready for planting and then grill some steaks in the evening. One year Johnny fell in with the wrong crowd and was arrested for armed robbery, but the gun was never located. Three months in jail he is talking with his father on the phone. His father recently had a hip replacement and can't move like he used and wishes Johnny was able to help with the gardening. After the conversation Johnny feels so bad that he calls the DA and arranges a meeting.
The next morning, Johnny's father hear's a b**... at his front door. He opens up and sees two detectives and a dozen uniformed officers with a search warrant. They brush the old man aside and make a beeline for the back yard.
Furious, he calls the prison and demands to talk to his son. He asked Johnny how dare he bring his criminal activities home and worry his mother and how ashamed he was of his scumbag son.
Johnny listened to the berating and replied, 'I felt bad that I couldn't help you with the garden this year, so I lied and told them I buried a gun back there.'