Vault Jokes
51 vault jokes and hilarious vault puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vault that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your day more interesting with these hilarious vault jokes! From pole vault jokes to bank vault and cellar jokes, this archive will have you laughing out loud. Get ready to crack up over these clever and witty jokes about vaults!
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Funniest Vault Short Jokes
Short vault jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vault humour may include short tower jokes also.
- What does a redditor say when he detonates a bank vault? Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold.
- Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
- Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault
- My grandfather always used to say, "Better safe than Sorry." Which explains why he always locked himself in the vault during family game night.
- What event will Mexico win in the next summer Olympics? Hurdles, high jump and pole vault.
- Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting.
- I'm opening a store that only sells vaults for storing valuable items and high fidelity audio equipment It's called Safe and Sound.
- Deep from the vaults of St. Giles Came a scream that resounded for miles.
Said the Vicar, Good Gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles!? . - Mexicans used to excel at cross-country... ... but Donald Trump could be the reason they get a gold in pole-vaulting
- I vaulted an electric fence. My friend asked me, "Why did you do that?". I said ,"enough with your ample comments". He looked back in shock.
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Vault One Liners
Which vault one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vault? I can suggest the ones about vent and bolt.
- Why did the janitor get fired from the bank? Because he cleaned out the vault.
- What famous actor pole-vaults over trees? John TreeVolta
- Why did Donald Trump watch the Olympics ? To see how tall the Mexicans can pole vault.
- What's the safest sport? Pole vault.
- What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe? Vault Disney
- I once knew a guy who would pole vault for his house guests It was over the top.
- Where does Poland keep its money? In pole vaults
- Hear about the guy that built a car out of a bank vault? He wanted to be a safe driver.
- What is a crusader's favourite sport? DEUS VAULT
- Where do Popes keep their knights between Crusades? in the Deus Vault
- I used to have a fear of vaulting... But then I got over it.
- Why doesn't Mexico have a pole-vaulting team? Because the ones who can are already here.
- I tried pole vaulting and I didn't like it Now, I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole
- For having a vault of their own... Guitar Center's awfully close to bankruptcy.
- What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!
Pole Vault Jokes
Here is a list of funny pole vault jokes and even better pole vault puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Trump for President? The only people who aren't afraid of a Trump presidency are on Mexico's Pole Vault team.
- Old man Johnson and his world-champion pole vaulting neighbor are really one in the same... They both grip their sticks and try to get it up.
- in the 2020 olympics ... ... after Trump has become president, USA will have the best pole vaulting team in the world, consisting of only mexicans
- What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible? When Jesus cleared the temple.
- Why do the French always were white when pole vaulting? So people can see them surrender from afar.
- Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals... The c**... have learned to pole vault.
Bank Vault Jokes
Here is a list of funny bank vault jokes and even better bank vault puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I recently came into a large sum of money Most of which was used to pay my court fees for when I was charged with jacking off in a bank vault.
- Let's talk about safe s**...! Do you think they'd close the door on the bank vault while we do it?
- Why did the bank robber die having s**... with the vault? They didn't know the safe word.
Cheerful Vault Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about vault you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean villa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vault pranks.
Meanwhile at the s**... Donor Bank
A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the s**... bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples. The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are s**... samples???" , "DO IT!".
So the nurse s**... it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."
How do you escape from a windowless bunker with a sealed vault door using only a rubber band and a puddle of water?
1).Look into the puddle and see what you saw.
2). Pick up the saw and cut the rubber band in half
3).Pick up the 2 halves of the rubber band.
4). 1 half plus 1 half equals 1 whole.
5). Use the whole on the door and escape.
Outside of the athletes village at the Olympics I saw a guy walking with a pole vault..
I asked him " are you a pole vaulter ?"
To which he replied "nein, I am German. How did you know my name vas Vaulter?"
Bank Robbery
A group of thugs bust into a bank. The bank is closed but there is a night watchmen watching the cameras. The thugs all find the vault and crack it open, revealing not money, but yogurt in little dishes. They all find this strange, but one t**... says,
"We might as well eat it."
It's a s**... bank.
Bills
Two thieves break into a bank after a lot of difficulty. Hearing police sirens, they each grab a sack from the vault and run for their lives.
8 months later, after the commotion about the robbery dies down, the thieves meet up casually to talk at a bar about the robbery:
Thief 1: Hey man!! It's been a long time!
Thief 2: Yeah it sure has been long.
T1: What did you get in your sack?
T2: I sure struck gold! I found lots of $500 bills.... I bought a new mansion, married, donated some to charity and put the rest in the bank. Life is amazing! What about you?
T1: I found bills in my sack too.
T2: What did you do with the money?
T1: I'm trying to pay them off one by one......
Oh So Creamy
A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the s**... bank vault.
She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!"
"I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples.
The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!"
She looks at him, "BUT, they are s**... samples???"
"DO IT!", He screams.
So the nurse s**... it back.
"That one there, drink that one as well."
So the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says: "See honey - its not that hard."
