The Best 25 Vault Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vault jokes. There are some vault vaulter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vault pole vault puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Vault Jokes and Puns

What does a redditor say when he detonates a bank vault?

Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold.

Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea?

He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.

Meanwhile at the Sperm Donor Bank

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.

He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.

So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!".

So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.

Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."

Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics?

To see how high Mexicans can pole vault

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

Let's talk about safe sex!

Do you think they'd close the door on the bank vault while we do it?

Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals...

The crabs have learned to pole vault.

Vault joke, Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals...

How do you escape from a windowless bunker with a sealed vault door using only a rubber band and a puddle of water?

1).Look into the puddle and see what you saw.

2). Pick up the saw and cut the rubber band in half

3).Pick up the 2 halves of the rubber band.

4). 1 half plus 1 half equals 1 whole.

5). Use the whole on the door and escape.

Why did Donald Trump watch the Olympics ?

To see how tall the Mexicans can pole vault.

My grandfather always used to say, "Better safe than Sorry."

Which explains why he always locked himself in the vault during family game night.

Why did the bank robber die having sex with the vault?

They didn't know the safe word.

You can explore vault archive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vault basement dad jokes. There are also vault puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the safest sport?

Pole vault.

What event will Mexico win in the next summer Olympics?

Hurdles, high jump and pole vault.

What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe?

Vault Disney

Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics.

He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting.

I once knew a guy who would pole vault for his house guests

It was over the top.

Vault joke, I once knew a guy who would pole vault for his house guests

Hear about the guy that built a car out of a bank vault?

He wanted to be a safe driver.

Outside of the athletes village at the Olympics I saw a guy walking with a pole vault..

I asked him " are you a pole vaulter ?"
To which he replied "nein, I am German. How did you know my name vas Vaulter?"

What is a crusader's favourite sport?


Where do Popes keep their knights between Crusades?

in the Deus Vault

I vaulted an electric fence.

My friend asked me, "Why did you do that?". I said ,"enough with your ample comments". He looked back in shock.

Trump for President?

The only people who aren't afraid of a Trump presidency are on Mexico's Pole Vault team.

I recently came into a large sum of money

Most of which was used to pay my court fees for when I was charged with jacking off in a bank vault.

For having a vault of their own...

Guitar Center's awfully close to bankruptcy.

Bank Robbery

A group of thugs bust into a bank. The bank is closed but there is a night watchmen watching the cameras. The thugs all find the vault and crack it open, revealing not money, but yogurt in little dishes. They all find this strange, but one thug says,
"We might as well eat it."
It's a sperm bank.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vault door jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vault crypt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes