Vault Jokes
42 vault jokes and hilarious vault puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vault that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your day more interesting with these hilarious vault jokes! From pole vault jokes to bank vault and cellar jokes, this archive will have you laughing out loud. Get ready to crack up over these clever and witty jokes about vaults!
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Funniest Vault Short Jokes
Short vault jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vault humour may include short vent jokes also.
- What does a redditor say when he detonates a bank vault? Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold.
- Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
- My grandfather always used to say, "Better safe than Sorry." Which explains why he always locked himself in the vault during family game night.
- What event will Mexico win in the next summer Olympics? Hurdles, high jump and pole vault.
- Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting.
- I'm opening a store that only sells vaults for storing valuable items and high fidelity audio equipment It's called Safe and Sound.
- Deep from the vaults of St. Giles Came a scream that resounded for miles.
Said the Vicar, Good Gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles!? . - Mexicans used to excel at cross-country... ... but Donald Trump could be the reason they get a gold in pole-vaulting
- I vaulted an electric fence. My friend asked me, "Why did you do that?". I said ,"enough with your ample comments". He looked back in shock.
- Old man Johnson and his world-champion pole vaulting neighbor are really one in the same... They both grip their sticks and try to get it up.
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Vault One Liners
Which vault one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vault? I can suggest the ones about bolt and villa.
- Why did the janitor get fired from the bank? Because he cleaned out the vault.
- What famous actor pole-vaults over trees? John TreeVolta
- What's the safest sport? Pole vault.
- What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe? Vault Disney
- I once knew a guy who would pole vault for his house guests It was over the top.
- Where does Poland keep its money? In pole vaults
- Hear about the guy that built a car out of a bank vault? He wanted to be a safe driver.
- What is a crusader's favourite sport? DEUS VAULT
- Where do Popes keep their knights between Crusades? in the Deus Vault
- I used to have a fear of vaulting... But then I got over it.
- Why doesn't Mexico have a pole-vaulting team? Because the ones who can are already here.
- I tried pole vaulting and I didn't like it Now, I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole
- For having a vault of their own... Guitar Center's awfully close to bankruptcy.
- What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!
- Last week I ordered a vault and some speakers Today they arrived, safe and sound.
Pole Vault Jokes
Here is a list of funny pole vault jokes and even better pole vault puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible? When Jesus cleared the temple.
Cheerful Vault Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about vault you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean locker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vault pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Meanwhile at the s**... Donor Bank
A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the s**... bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples. The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are s**... samples???" , "DO IT!".
So the nurse s**... it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics?
To see how high Mexicans can pole vault
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let's talk about safe s**...!
Do you think they'd close the door on the bank vault while we do it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals...
The c**... have learned to pole vault.
How do you escape from a windowless bunker with a sealed vault door using only a rubber band and a puddle of water?
1).Look into the puddle and see what you saw.
2). Pick up the saw and cut the rubber band in half
3).Pick up the 2 halves of the rubber band.
4). 1 half plus 1 half equals 1 whole.
5). Use the whole on the door and escape.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the bank robber die having s**... with the vault?
They didn't know the safe word.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently came into a large sum of money
Most of which was used to pay my court fees for when I was charged with jacking off in a bank vault.
Bills
Two thieves break into a bank after a lot of difficulty. Hearing police sirens, they each grab a sack from the vault and run for their lives.
8 months later, after the commotion about the robbery dies down, the thieves meet up casually to talk at a bar about the robbery:
Thief 1: Hey man!! It's been a long time!
Thief 2: Yeah it sure has been long.
T1: What did you get in your sack?
T2: I sure struck gold! I found lots of $500 bills.... I bought a new mansion, married, donated some to charity and put the rest in the bank. Life is amazing! What about you?
T1: I found bills in my sack too.
T2: What did you do with the money?
T1: I'm trying to pay them off one by one......
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oh So Creamy
A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the s**... bank vault.
She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!"
"I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples.
The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!"
She looks at him, "BUT, they are s**... samples???"
"DO IT!", He screams.
So the nurse s**... it back.
"That one there, drink that one as well."
So the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says: "See honey - its not that hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
And now for something completely different
A young female nurse is working the front desk at a s**... bank. A man wearing a ski mask barges in through the front door and holds a gun to her head. He tells her "Open the vault!"
"But sir, this is a s**... bank..."
"Just do it!" The woman complies and opens the vault containing hundreds of vials of donations. "Now, uncork one and drink it!
"Sir, I don't understand..."
"Do as I say!" So she uncorks a sample and drinks it down. She chokes on it but is more worried about the mysterious man. The assailant has her do it a few more times. The woman is visibly shaken, but he takes off the ski mask and says
"See honey, it isn't that hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Easy as 1,2,3.....4.
A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the s**... bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples. The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are s**... samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse s**... it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
