vatican Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious vatican puns

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We'll take the aliens, you get the predators

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A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens where greeted by the pope

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Univers visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and currently we await his return to us.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure we know this guy.. great guy! Whenever he visits us he cure our sick, turn some water into wine (great laugh!), show us his walking-on-water-trick and then we throw a great party and serve him pancakes. He pops up every 2 years or so. Anyway, what did you guys do?

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After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black...

...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief

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A higgs boson particle walks into the Vatican

The Pope says, "you call yourself the God particle! Your blasphemy is not welcome here, get out!"

The higgs boson particle says "but you can't have mass without me."

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2 nuns take a shortcut

2 nuns are riding bicycles through the Vatican and they decide to take a shortcut down a cobblestone street. The first nun says to the second, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies to the first, "Nor have I. It must be the cobblestones."

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Nescafe and the Pope

Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.

After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
coffee."

The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."

"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."

"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."

The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."

And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"

"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.

"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."

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The Pope falls seriously ill and all the
cardinals are very worried.

They get the best doctors in Vatican City but nothing
helps. Eventually one of the cardinals says: There is only one doctor left that we haven't tried, he is the best in all Italy.

So the cardinals order him to summon the doctor to examine the Pope. The doctor comes to the council of cardinals and says:
I have good news and bad news, the Holy Father has cancer of the testicles, but the good news is he can be cured, all he needs
to do is take this drug and have sex with a woman.

The cardinals recoil in shock. Obviously this treatment is impossible because he is the Holy Father and therefore must remain celibate. Unfortunately, there is no other way, so one of the cardinals approaches the Pope and explains the situation. Holy Father, you have a terrible cancer and will die unless you have sex with a woman.

The Pope ponders this for a moment, then declares, Ok, I'll do it, but on three conditions.

Okay, says the cardinal. What are the conditions?

One, the woman must be blind, so she will never know who she made love with.

Okay, your Holiness, what next?

Two, the woman must be dumb, so if she ever realizes who she made love to, she will not be able to tell.

Certainly, your Holiness. And the third condition?

She has to have big tits.

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Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

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The Pope is walking through the streets of Vatican City...

... and he sees two beggars holding up cans for money. One of them is holding up a Christian cross, and the other a Star of David. The Pope sees that the one with the cross is, of course, getting much more money than the one with the Star of David, with some people only giving money to the Christian to spite the Jew. The Pope decides he has to intervene.

So he taps the Jew gently on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me. I noticed that you didn't have anything in your tin and I wanted to point out that in Vatican City, begging for money with a Star of David isn't a very good method of getting any, especially with a man with a cross next to you. Perhaps you should try a different city?"

The Jewish man laughs out loud, shocking the Pope. He turns to the Christian and exclaims, "Hey Abraham! Look who's trying to teach the Goldberg brothers marketing!"

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Two priests are on a plane

So two priests are flying with a planeload of Sunday school kids to the Vatican to meet the Pope. Halfway across the Atlantic the pilot tells them that the plane is going to crash and that there are only two parachutes.

One priest turns to the other and says, grab the chutes and we'll jump!

What about the children? Replies the other priest.

Fuck the children! Yells the older priest.

The younger one says, do you think we have time?

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Two beggars are sitting in the Vatican...

There were two beggars sitting next to each other on the street in Vatican city, one had a large cross around his neck, the other had the star of David.It was a lovely day, the sun was shinning, there were thousands of people walking past the two beggars, but everyone was giving the man with the cross around his neck money, while the man with the star of David got nothing. One morning a high priest walked by the beggars and said the the beggar with the star of David " my friend, you are in Vatican city, all these people that pass you by will give to the man with the cross, they will never give money to a man with a star of David, in fact they will give to the man with the cross just to spite you... The beggar with the star of David, turned the the beggar with the cross and said " hey, Moshe, this schmuck is trying to teach the Cohen brothers about marketing"

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The Pope's Coffee - From my grandfather

Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican .


After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you.


Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'"


The pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed."


"Well," says the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."


"My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed."


The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer... We will donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please consider it."


And he leaves.


The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.


"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million."


"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.


"We're losing the Wonderbread account."

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A young couple couldn't get pregnant.

A young couple couldn't get pregnant. They tried everything so the wife could conceive including going to the fertility doctor, but nothing worked. Finally, at church one Sunday they asked their priest for advice. The priest told them to go to the Vatican and light a candle. Several years later, the priest decides to pay the couple a visit. He rings the doorbell, and is met by an army of little runts. He asks one of the older boys,

"Where's Mommy?"

"She's at a maternity ward. I'm gonna have a sister" says the boy

"What about Daddy?" asks the priest

"He went to the Vatican to blow out some damn candle."

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The seven dwarves went to the Vatican...

...and when the pope answered the door, Dopey stepped forward:

"Your Excellency," he said. "I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No Dopey, there aren't," the Pope replied.

Behind Dopey, the six dwarves started to titter.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" Dopey persisted.

"No, none in Italy," the Pope answered a little more sternly.

A few of the dwarves now began to laugh more openly.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?"

This time the Pope was much more firm.
"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

By this point, all the dwarves were laughing aloud and rolling around the ground.

"Pope," Dopey demanded. "Are there any dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

"No Dopey," the Pope snapped. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.

Whereupon the six dwarves started jumping up and down chanting, " Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"

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Two drunk guys

knock on the door of the local Nunnery.

Mother Superior comes out and one asks "Mother Superior, do you have any nuns that are midgets?"

She thinks and says "I know of no midget Nuns in the entire country."

The guy then says "Can we call the Vatican and ask if there are ANY midget nuns anywhere?"

Mother Superior agrees and they do.

The Vatican spokesman confirms - there are no midget nuns anywhere in the world.

The guy looks at his friend and says "See?! I told you that you were fucking a penguin..."

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The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican...

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican

and because they are the seven dwarfs,

they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope,

'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency,

but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question,

thinks for a moment and answers,

'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ...'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares,

silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship,

are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'

The Pope, puzzled now,

again thinks for a moment and then answers,

'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe ...

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.



Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them

with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope!

Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says,

'I'm sorry, my son,

there are no dwarf nuns

anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap,

rolling and laughing, pounding the floor,

tears rolling down their cheeks,

as they begin chanting......



'Grumpy screwed a penguin!'
'Grumpy screwed a penguin!'

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Vatican to elevate pope Francis to sainthood-report

Reports are emerging from the vatican that the current pope will be recommended for sainthood due to his compassion for his fellow man. When asked about the holy father's reaction, a vatican official said, 'In keeping with modern times, the pontiff would like to be the patron saint of email, St.Francis of a cc'

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A wealthy man goes to Rome...

...in one of his finest suits the hope that when he visits the Vatican, he can be granted an audience with the Holy Father. During one of the Papal processions, he manages to make his way to the front of the barrier as the Pontiff walks past them. Instead, the Pope completely blanks the man, and stops several metres after him and stoops down to talk to an old and ragged-looking homeless person. The wealthy man is insanely jealous, and later finds the homeless person that the Pope had talked to and offers him his own fine suit as well as €2000, in exchange for the hobo's rags, to which the man greatly obliges.

The next day, the man positions himself in his "new" hobo clothing in roughly the same spot the original man was in the previous day. And sure enough, as the Pope came down the procession, he stopped by the homeless man, bent down and whispered in his ear:

"I thought I told you to fuck off yesterday"

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Dopey asks the pope

The seven dwarfs go to the vatican and the pope gives them an audience. "Any questions?' Asks the Pope. After being nudged by the others, Dopey reluctantly raises his hands.

"Yes, Dopey?" the pope asks kindly

"Your holiness, are there any nuns in Alaska?"

"Of course there are"

Dopey says thanks, but the other dwarves keep gauding him to ask another question.

"Your holiness," says Dopey, "are there any black nuns in Alaska?"

"Er, I can't say for sure," says the pope, "But I can't see why not..."

The other dwarves carry on nudging Dopey so Dopey raises his
hand once more, "Your holiness, are there any black midget nuns in Alaska?"

The pope a little exasperated at this point, says, "You know what Dopey? I don't think there are any black midget nuns in Alaska."

The other six dwarks fall about laughing screeching: "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin!!".

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My Pope joke effort

Tried to buy some of the second hand stuff the Pope's selling on Vatican eBay but the payment service is down. Fucking Papal.

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A Priest and the Pope

A priest is in the vatican bathroom taking a piss at the urinals when the Pope walks in and stands next to him. The bishop just happens to look down and notice that the Pope is wearing what looks like a nicotine patch on his penis. He say to the Pope "I don't mean to be rude your holiness but I believe that those are supposed to go on your arms." The Pope smiles and says "No, it's working just fine, I'm down to three butts a day."

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How do you transfer money in the Vatican?

You use Papal.

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The Pope has declared that by 2018, the Vatican will stop selling cigarettes.

Thus he confirms that God hates fags.

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A Jewish cook went to the Vatican and insisted on seeing the Pope.

After a long wait the Pope granted him an audience and asked the cook what could he do for him.

The Jew said that he was a cook, before him his father was a cook, his grandfather was a cook, his great grandfather was a cook, and that he comes from a family of cooks that goes back to over 2000 years....

The Pope congratulated him and asked him again, what could he do for him?

The Jew said: "Well, the bill for the last supper has still not been paid.... "

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Two nuns were riding their bikes...

Two nuns were riding their bikes through Rome headed to the Vatican. One nun said to the other, "You know, sister, I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other nun said, "It's the cobblestones."

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An elderly priest was found in the Vatican library weeping inconsolably...

He had ancient manuscripts spread out in front of him. Some curators walked up to him and said "What is the matter, Father?"

Between sobs, he replied: "Some bastard dropped the 'R'. It was supposed to say CELEBRATE!"

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Kind of a visual joke, but hopefully it'll work. (some language)

Jesse Jackson and Obama heard there was a new pope and wanted to go meet him and introduce themselves. so they got on air force one and flew all the way to the Vatican. When they got there they saw that the line to see the pope was miles long. but they decided to stay and wait it out because they had traveled so far already. After about an hour of slowly making their way closer to the pope Jesse turns to Obama and says "man Obama I'm really hungry." Obama, not wanting to lose his spot in line, convinced him to stay and continue to wait it out. three more hours pass and Jesse can't take it anymore, he had to eat. So he plucks a pigeon out of the air and builds a small fire to cook it. The pope sees the smoke and immediately comes down the line to see where its coming from. He walks up to Jesse Jackson and makes the sign of the cross (points up, down, left, and right), says a few words and leaves. Obama, not able to hear exactly what the pope said to Jesse, is excited for him "wow Jesse, you just got blessed by the pope, that's awesome. What exactly did he tell you?" Jesse replies "he said (pointing up) 'leave my damn pigeons alone, (pointing down) put the fucking fire out, (pointing left) get this nigger, (pointing right) and get out of here.'"

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Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican

First nun shouts to the other "I've never come this way before!"
The second nun replies "don't worry it's just the cobblestones."

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Batman was arrested today in the Vatican

He was released on Christian Bale

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The Seven Dwarfs visit the Vatican to have an audience with the Pope.

The audience is going really well but Dopey keeps pulling on Doc's sleeve. Doc says, "Okay, okay I'll ask him!" He turns to the Pope and says,
"Your eminence, Dopey would like to know if there are any nuns who are dwarfs?"
Well the Pope thinks about it, and he consults with his arch bishop, and after a couple quick phone calls and whispered conversations, the Pope turns and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there are no nuns who are dwarfs anywhere in Rome."
At this Grumpy smacks Dopey upside the head and says, "See? I told you that you fucked a penguin!"
This joke is in honor of World Penguin Day and my girlfriend's dad who told me this joke and died later that week. I swear to God these were the last words he ever spoke to me. A fantastic, funny amazing human being.

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The Vatican has dispelled rumors that the Pope is resigning because he's a pedophile.

They claim he just got a little behind at work.

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What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

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I heard the Vatican was making a movie. The name?

Pope Fiction

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The priest's bad habit

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicorette patch on it.

He looks at the other priest and says, "I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis".

The other one replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down to two butts a day".

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I'm taking a dump in the Vatican toilets.

I guess that counts as a holy shit.

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Two Nuns On Bikes

Two nuns, Maria and Angelica, are riding their bicycles on their way to work at the Vatican. They're running late, so Maria says, "I know a shortcut. Let's go down this alley." They turn right onto the alley, which soon becomes a narrow cobblestone road, with many twists and turns. Angelica remarks, "wow, I never came this way before." Maria tells her, "it's the cobblestones."

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What country has the lowest age of consent?

Vatican City

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The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope.

Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says "Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."

Pope Francis says, "yes, of course."

Jim Perdue says "I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out daily chicken.' And instead of bread-based Eucharist, you could give chicken nuggets."

Pope Francis says, "sir, that is really not a feasible proposal."

Perdue says, "tell you what, I'll donate the $2 million no strings attached, but if you implement my proposal, I'll donate another $20 million."

The Pope merely thanks him and leaves the room.

The next day, at a meeting with his cardinals, the pope says, "Exalted cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church... we need to discuss the Wonderbread account."

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What do they use to pay for things in the Vatican?

Paypal

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What is the difference between Hollywood and the Vatican?

Nothing. Literally nothing.

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What does Vatican City smell like?

Poperie!

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Why did the priest not make the Vatican sprinting team?

He always comes in a little behind.

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Two Nuns

Two nuns are riding their bicycles through Rome on their way to the Vatican. This time, though, they are taking a different route instead of their usual route.

I've never come this way, one nun says to the other.

It's the cobblestones, says the other nun.

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two nuns at the vatican...

so these two nuns are riding a bicycle built for two on their daily trip around the vatican... so one day, sister mary decides to take a different route... sister katherine says "why, ive never come this way" to which sister mary relpies "it's the cobblestones"...

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Vatican isn't actually landlocked.

It has the Holy See.

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What do you call a team-up between a maniac, a random white guy, and the head of the Vatican?

Snapped, Cracker and Pope

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Recently I came back from Vatican City where I have realized that angels are real. One of them offered me to show the path to Heaven and I agreed.

Sadly, she charged me 50 Euros for the session.

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I was going to have a wank at the Vatican while I was there on vacation.

But I thought about it and it has probably been done before and I would hate to be seen as the second coming.

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What is the name of the bar in the Vatican?

The Pope-acabana

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Why does the Vatican smell so good?

Pope-ourri

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Trump's in Saudi Arabia, Israel...

... and the Vatican this week, cradles of USA's 3 great religions:

Christianity, Judaism, and Oil.

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You hear Pete Carroll is getting recruited for a new job..

Yeah, he is getting offers from the Pope at the Vatican! The Pope said that if he can make 100 million people say "Jesus Christ" at the same time, he needs to work for the Catholic Church

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Only two countries have square flags

One is Vatican City, the other is Switzerland.


No wonder Swiss cheese is holy.

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The Pope enjoyed a walk around the Vatican every afternoon.

One afternoon as he is walking in a quiet area, he pulls up his robe and begins to masturbate. Just as he is reaching climax, he hears a click, and turns to see a Japanese tourist snapping pictures. Walking over, the pontiff says "Boy that's a nice camera. Would you consider selling it to me?" The tourist declines, and the pope says, "I'll give you $5,000." Eagerly the tourist accepts the offer and the pope hurries back to St Peters with the camera. A passing cardinal remarks, "Is that one of those new Japanese cameras? What did you pay for it?" "$5,000", blurts out the pope. "Wow!" Says the cardinal. "They must've seen you coming!"

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The Pope

The Pope was very ill. The Vatican doctors could find nothing wrong. A psychiatrist examined the holy father and explained the results.
"De Pope hasa to hava sexa. eesa only way to getta betta"
When the findings were explained to the Pope by his chief aide he was greatly saddened.
"Okay," he said, "Butta she has to be blinda so she can no see who does these terrible thinga that happen to her".
"Okay, blinda," said the aide.
Also, the Pope continued, "she hasa to be deaf so she cannot hear these terrible thing to happen to her."
"Okay, blinda and a deafa," said the aide.
"Anna," the Pope continued, "She hasa to be mute, so she cannot tell the world these terrible thing to happen to her".
"Okay, blinda, deafa, anda muta" said the aide.
"Anna one a more thinga", said the Pope, "She gotta hava some a bigga titties! Really bigga boomba knockersa!"

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The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are discussing where to holiday...

The Holy Spirit, predictably, suggests Las Vegas, but God says he feels like a change this year.

God suggests Jerusalem, but Jesus vetoes - not after last time...

Jesus suggests The Vatican City. "Sounds good to me." says God. " Yeah I'd like that," says the Holy Spirit, "I've never been."

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Did you hear about the guy who was punched until he accepted a position in the Vatican?

He was beaten to a Pope.

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What's the least productive country in the world?

The Vatican. They've only ever produced 27 papas.

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I got sacked as a tour guide in Vatican City.

As I was talking about the pope, we turned a corner and I said, "Ah, speak of the devil".

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Have you guys heard about the 13 Thai boys stuck in a cave?

Don't worry though, the Vatican is on it!

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The Vatican just launched an online learning program for priests.

It's called eRectory.

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At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked "I've never seen so many priests in one room"

I guess he's never been to a kids party then

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In the latest sequel, John McClain teams up with two elderly nuns to save the Vatican from terrorists.

It's called Old Habits Die Hard.

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If the Vatican ordered some things from eBay,

Would they use the papal PayPal?

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Q: How come the Vatican police kept harassing the nuns?

A: It was a force of habit

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What's the Vatican City's favorite snack?

popecorn

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What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican?

We the papal...

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The Vatican finally recognizes Palestine…

Palestine replied, "Dude. We've met like six times."

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What part of the Vatican is made entirely out of amino acids?

The Cysteine Chapel

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What is the most watched sporting event at the Vatican?

Little league World Series

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Bob had a speech impediment and Bill was a cripple…

The brothers decided to take a trip to Europe in the hopes that they could meet the Pope and he would heal Bill. When they get back home Bob goes to work and everyone asks about his trip and if Bill has been healed. Well , he says, We got to da Vatican, and saw dat da Pope was giving a fowmal sewvice and said he would do a healing afterwawds. My bwother Bill walked up to da Pope with da help of his crutches. The Pope touched bwother Bill on da left shoulder, and his left crutch went flying off to da left. He den touched Bill on da right shoulder, and his right crutch just went flying off dat way. Wow! Then what happened?! his coworkers asked excitedly. He fell on his ass. He's a cwipple ya know."

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Islamic State militants have taken over the Vatican

They now call themselves Italian ISIS

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The Pope Visits New York City...

The Pope didn't have time to shave and let his sideburns grow out on his trip from the Vatican to New York City. While driving down Fifth Avenue with his entourage, everyone is yelling and screaming, "We love you Elvis, we love you!"

The Pope says, That's funny, why are they calling me Elvis?

The Pope checks into his hotel and people passing by keep yelling, "We love you, Elvis!" and the Pope is still wonder why everyone keeps calling him Elvis...

Finally, he gets up to his room, opens the door, and inside is a this beautiful stark-raving naked blonde with huge boobs who screams, "Take me, Elvis, take me in your arms!" The Pope starts to sing, "One for the money... Two for the show..."

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The Pope originally wanted to invite Hillary to speak

but the Vatican couldn't afford it.

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polish priest sacked by the Vatican......

Well that's really taken the shine off the pope :)

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Why can't helicopters fly over Vatican City?

Dago 'Wop Wop Wop'

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Why didn't Pope John Paul let dogs into the Vatican?

Because they pee on poles.

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The Vatican got a huge internet bill this month...

Apparently it's because of all the PDF files.

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Why does the Vatican have the best jokes?

They always see themselves out.

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Why isn't The Vatican competing in EUFA 2012?

Because all of their young boys were busy.

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What's Vatican City's national animal?

The Papal bull.

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Did you hear that the Vatican elected a new Pope?

Never mind, they were just blowing smoke.

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Happy 420! I rolled a cross joint...

That the Vatican would smoke

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Why does the Pope spend most of his free time in the Sistine Chapel

It's Rome's number one Vatican Destination!

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Where does Batman goes to Church?

To the Vatican

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What does the Vatican City's constitution have in common with the constitution of the United States?

Both are by the papal, for the papal.

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What's the most common pizza chain in the Vatican

Papal Johns

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What's the preferred method of exchanging money in the Vatican?

Papal

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What is the only cheese allowed at the Vatican?

Swiss, it's holy.

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They don't pay taxes. Many of them are rapists who prey on our children. We need to send these people back to the country where they came from.

The Vatican.

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How does the Head of the Vatican pay for his items online?

By using his Papal account.

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Did you hear about the foreign government with agents in our country who are manipulating the masses?

The Vatican has people everywhere.

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Just heard that the Vatican was thinking of starting their own baseball team.

I think they'd be pretty good, since most of their players would be described as 'not out'

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We can't just let a foreign country send people here to change our ways, not pay taxes and rape our children!

The Vatican has to be stopped.

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To send money to the Vatican digitally

You'll need a Papal account

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Why do people visit the Vatican?

To listen to pope music.

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There was a man in the Vatican who drove trains for a living...

Jokes on you, there are no trains in the Vatican

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What genre of music is popular in Vatican?

Pope Music!

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In N Out

Describes my visit to the Vatican City

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What are the best Vatican puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Vatican? Well, here are the best jokes about Vatican to have fun with.

Joko Jokes